Her ex fiancee just came back in the picture...

[Beastelstein]

I've been seeing this girl about a month and a half, things were going incredibly well until this past week. She's someone I've known 8 years and I've always liked but we never got anything going until recently. Last Friday and Saturday she flaked on me first saying she forgot that she had plans with her friend then saying she was sick. I got a little suspicious of it but just took it in stride until she flaked again on going to a show with me yesterday. I told her I still wanted to see her at least and that we needed to talk (about me feeling uneasy). She wound up texting me telling me her ex just got out of prison and she's really mixed up because she might have feelings for him. I was very upset but understanding about the situation since that would confuse anybody and she felt horrible about it. I'm going to see her tonight and we'll be able to have a better talk about it. I'm not sure how to handle it since these 'him or me' situations usually don't go well for me. I'm thinking of telling her that I care about her and I want her to really think on it but if it drags out too long I'll have make the decision for her. Does that sound like a good way of addressing this?

[WithLove]

No. It sounds like you're agreeing to let her play seesaw with him and you, and you're okay with it. Anything less than "I'm sorry, but if you have to choose, then I don't want any part of that" is you basically showing what you think of your self worth.

[Wiseman2]

I would bow out of this and not get in the crossfire between them. If she wants to run back to an ex con, let her. She won't give you the concrete response you may be looking for, because she wants a safety net while she sees about her convict bf.

her ex just got out of prison and she's really mixed up because she might have feelings for him.

[Edmund Exley]

No. It sounds like you're agreeing to let her play seesaw with him and you, and you're okay with it. Anything less than "I'm sorry, but if you have to choose, then I don't want any part of that" is you basically showing what you think of your self worth.

 

This. Never allow yourself to simply be an option.

[Edmund Exley]

More importantly, she is considering a person who just got out of prison as an option over you.

[RainyCoast]

you said these him or me situations don't usually work out well for me. how many times have you had this sort of thing happen to you? well did you just stand there waiting for the chicks to decide? has it ever occurred to you that you get to be the one who chooses or are you convinced you're not likely to get women to genuinely care enough about you that you think having someone grace you by deciding you're worth it is the best you'll get? honestly, you should just be telling this one and whoever else pulled this crap on you to have fun with her criminal.

 

 

you were understanding about her conundrum because anyone would be confused??? excuse me?? what kind of a person would be confused? my boyfriend versus convict? yeah, tough one...

 

spill the beans dude, what are these pathetic beliefs you have about yourself that make you put yourself at the mercy of bimbacious, fickle girls?

[HeartGoesOn]

You were a temporary distraction until her jailbird boyfriend was released. I'm sorry, but there's no point in meeting up with her again, as her mind is made up and you dodged a bullet.

[Doc Blaze]

Game over-

 

 

He got out and she went back to him asap. she was probably lonely and wanted something temp until he was released. she flaked on you multiple times. let her go, its going to be nothing but confusion for a while even if things don't work out with that guy.-

[dave_1966]

Wow, ex con. Sounds a catch, they deserve each other. Seriously, find someone decent.

[Ms Darcy]

You were a temporary distraction until her jailbird boyfriend was released. I'm sorry, but there's no point in meeting up with her again, as her mind is made up and you dodged a bullet.

 

I'm thinking the same.