How to breakup with my depressed and borderline suicidal girlfriend?

[Ms Darcy]

I do recognize the issues it has caused me. Although I don't think I need professional help, I do have a lot to work on mentally after this relationship

 

You are on the other side of the coin as your gf. Yes, professional help is very important for folks like you too. Without it, you will have a very hard time being attracted to women who aren't broken birds.

[ThatwasThen]

I would really appreciate it if you posted the article. I know that I have to cut off communication, it's a matter of how I go about doing so that I am contemplating

Here is a link on the difference between caregiving and caretaking which is the dysfunctional opposite of caregiving.

 

 

 

Here are three on codependency that I think you'll find helpful:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope the links to these articles help you with your detachment of her and encourage you to do all that you can to get over your need to caretake.

 

Good luck, Parker.

[Wiseman2]

You sound very caring and also as though your families are close. Your question is how to break up. Stay in touch with her parents. It's understandable that you may feel some guilt particularly because she seems quite fragile and unstable. In this particular case you may want to gently ease out of things if she is really suicidal...you don't want the added guilt of her reacting drastically to a sudden cut off.

[ThatwasThen]

You sound very caring and also as though your families are close. Your question is how to break up. Stay in touch with her parents. It's understandable that you may feel some guilt particularly because she seems quite fragile and unstable. In this particular case you may want to gently ease out of things if she is really suicidal...you don't want the added guilt of her reacting drastically to a sudden cut off.

 

No, no and no again. That is encouraging him to enable her to remain in the state she is in. If anything at all (still not recommended) he find out how she is through his mother contacting her mother and leave it at that. This is addiction and they need to rehab from one another if either of them are to become healthy emotionally and mentally. There is no need for him to feel guilty for taking back his life and leaving her to fix her own. None.

[parker]

Thank you for the article links, I did find them very helpful. I am going to talk to my mother for advice on how I should go about things regarding to a break up and I plan on accessing the free therapists and counseling at the University to help me get over my codependent habits. I would have never recognized these issues without you guys, and I really appreciate your help.

[parker]

My parents relationship is very strong and they have always treated me perfectly, I couldnt ask for a better set of parents. I do not know where my issues stemmed from, but somewhere along the way apparently

[ThatwasThen]

Thank you for the article links, I did find them very helpful. I am going to talk to my mother for advice on how I should go about things regarding to a break up and I plan on accessing the free therapists and counseling at the University to help me get over my codependent habits. I would have never recognized these issues without you guys, and I really appreciate your help.

Good plan, Parker. You're going to be A-Okay.

 

I don't doubt you love and appreciate your parents and the relationship you have with them. It's great that you feel comfortable enough to seek out their advise too.. but I'm compelled to think that there have been some issues considering that your brother is having some problems of his own? For all you know, your mother has been in a codependent relationship with both her children. It happens.

 

OR: (and most likely I would think) Your tendency to caretake just manifested due to the dysfunctional on and off relationship with someone who clearly has some mental issues. When we try to control and fix and we keep failing at it, it tends to drag us down to their level rather then bringing them up to what was originally ours.

 

Be well.

[parker]

I believe it mostly stemmed from my on and off relationship. Especially since it has taken up most of my recent life (pretty much all of high school and the first half of college). I appreciate all of the support

[parker]

I broke up with her today. Very hard, she was very emotional, so it was even harder on me. I feel empty.

[Ms Darcy]

I know it's difficult but you did the right thing. Stay strong buddy.