Ex boyfriend is acting shady

[tesscap21]

So two weeks ago, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me out of the blue (I posted another thread about that). I never got a real explanation, he just said he wasn't happy. It was so sudden and it hurt me so badly. Well he called me a week ago (a week after we broke up) and I stupidly answered, just to see what he had to say. He said he missed me but he's so unhappy with his life that he doesn't want a relationship. He told me he loved me and that he wanted to eventually get back together. We talked for a few days and it was almost like everything was back to normal. I started to feel happy again and hopeful that we would get back together. Well he suddenly stopped talking to me again, but I'm more worried about him than anything because he told me how much he hates his life and that all he wants to do is get drunk every day. Not because he misses me, because he said I couldn't do anything to make him feel better. I've been texting him just to see if he's ok and I'm not getting any response. I know I shouldn't be contacting him, but I just thought it was weird how he wanted to talk for a few days and then completely cut me off again and I'm worried sick I don't know what I should do or if I should just let it go and start over with no contact

[rosephase]

This is something he's going to have to figure out for himself. The truth is you can never make him happy. You can not fix his life. He has to do that himself. He is telling you the truth, there is nothing you can do to make him feel better.

[ThatwasThen]

Instead of contacting him, why don't you contact his parents or a sibling and tell them what you're telling strangers on the internet that can't do a thing to help him? If you're worried about his well being then call someone who can do something about it and then you step away. He's your ex and he's in no place emotionally to be in a relationship with anyone.

 

Contact his parents (or whomever) to see how he is and then go radio silent once you find out. They/he will contact you if and when they feel they should.

[Ms Darcy]

Personally I think he used you for free therapy when he needed it and now that he doesn't he's off doing other things. When he feels low again, he'll get in touch.

 

You really need to stop trying to rescue him.

[ThatwasThen]

You really need to stop trying to rescue him.

I agree. That's why I think if she's so worried about him or what he may do, then she should be contacting his folks and stay out of it.

[Wiseman2]

Whatever it is he is going through can't be helped by being in a relationship. No contact is best because he needs to sort through his issues on his own, as he stated.

he's so unhappy with his life that he doesn't want a relationship. he said I couldn't do anything to make him feel better.

[tesscap21]

No I found out he has been with a girl who he's been friends with for awhile. I'm so hurt I've been lied to and played with I love him so much and it the fact that he doesn't love me anymore kills me

[ThatwasThen]

No I found out he has been with a girl who he's been friends with for awhile. I'm so hurt I've been lied to and played with I love him so much and it the fact that he doesn't love me anymore kills me

This is NOT what you implied in your opening post when you said you haven't heard from him and you're worried about his well being. Since your new post I suggest that you get help from a professional to help you get over him.

 

Just posting here doesn't seem to be helping you to grieve, process and recover. You've yet to even try to do the mental work you need to do to stop obsessing over him, luv. Accept it's over and then start your healing process by consciously changing the subject of him or the relationship from your mind when he enters your thoughts.

[Ms Darcy]

This is NOT what you implied in your opening post when you said you haven't heard from him and you're worried about his well being. Since your new post I suggest that you get help from a professional to help you get over him.

 

I agree with both points.

[overthemoon86]

No I found out he has been with a girl who he's been friends with for awhile. I'm so hurt I've been lied to and played with I love him so much and it the fact that he doesn't love me anymore kills me

 

I am assuming you just found this out when you have been reaching out and he has not been getting back to you. See, he is just fine! Hopefully this will give you the motivation to move on and focus on yourself. I know you feel the breakup was out of the blue, but it happened. Your reality is that your relationship is over. The sooner you can realize that, let go of him and move on, the happier and healthier you will be.

 

I am sorry that you have been going through this, but you will be okay, I promise you. Heart break is part of the human experience and that is what you are experiencing right now.