We broke up today... can't stop crying

[Hermes]

Totally correct, Bolt.

 

"You do know people in healthy relationships don't threaten to break up every time there's a disagreement or a small conflict, right? And decent men don't dismiss or minimize their girlfriends' feelings either."

 

That is the long and the short of it, and the key word in there is "healthy" as opposed to dysfunctional.

 

OP.

You have experienced first-hand the "idealization/devaluation/discard" cycle.

[Lovelavie]

I'm surprised because I thought he liked me. I'm not sure about anything anymore.

Yesterday I was at a friend's house and he's friends with my bf (or ex) too, and he took a picture of me and sent it to him and he answered saying I was beautiful and that he missed me but wished I was more chill...

I felt happy and sad at the same time. It just sucks...

Also I called him today to tell him I'm sending a paper about my car crash that he's helping me solve and when I was about to say goodbye he asked what I did on the weekend and tried to extend our conversation...

Sometimes I feel angry, sometimes I feel sad, I don't know if we get back together if my feelings for him will be the same, since I'm hurting so much, I don't know if I'll be able to forgive him...

[boltnrun]

If he "liked" you, why was he threatening to break up all the time?

 

If he "liked" you, why was he so dismissive of your feelings?

 

And why are you still chasing him?

 

If you two agreed on no contact...why are you contacting him? You're breaking the "agreement"!

[overthemoon86]

Girl, what are you doing! Stop talking to him...and why on earth did you have a friend send a picture of you to him??? He knows what you look like LOL and in fact you come off as really desperate when do things like that. And calling him too?? All of these actions are not helping you at all. Are you back together?? NO! So why are you doing this?

 

Listen, you need to be strong and find your worth. You deserve so much more than a guy who is going to walk all over you threaten to break up with you all the time and then actually do it. This is not worth your pain and suffering. So focus on yourself, forget this guy, DO NOT call him or send pictures or anything. You need to move on.

[Lovelavie]

My friend sent him a picture of me without my knowledge, he only showed it to me later...

I don't know how to stay NC, I keep trying to find any excuse to talk to him I know it's stupid, I just feel like I don't even know who he is anymore...

I'm so confused and messed up. Usually when two people break up both of them feel a bit sad, but I see him happy and it feels like he's already over me. It's easier to deal with when the person you were with also misses you, but when the person seems ok and acts like the past year and a half of their life meant nothing to them, makes me feel so bad. I know my worth, but it hurts so much to see that the other person doesn't see one bit of it.

[Lovelavie]

It's especially hard when you see that he found a new group of "friends" (which some of them he used to badmouth but now he's hanging out with them), and left behind his real friends and me. Now all he does is go to parties and do drugs. We broke up on Friday and he went to two parties, one on Saturday and one on Sunday. It's like I was literally NOTHING to him.

[Wiseman2]

He sounds rather superficial in many areas. Soon you will so glad you got rid of this overgrown frat-boy. It has nothing to do with you or the relationship, he's not capable of deeper emotions.

It's especially hard when you see that he found a new group of "friends". Now all he does is go to parties and do drugs.