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Dating my brother's best friend


cxz

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The title pretty much says it all, and my brother isn't happy about it

 

I really really like him and want to keep seeing him, I haven't felt this way about anyone, but I don't know how to get my brother to approve. He's one year younger than me and never been protective or anything like that, in fact we don't have that caring brother sister relationship at all, ours is more like a friendship, so idk what his problem is

 

Any advice? I'm new to this so sorry if I posted in the wrong place

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Seeing as about 10% of relationships make it to marriage or co-habiting, he's worried about the 90% case if you split up and he's caught in the middle!

 

That or he knows his friend is a horn-dog and doesn't like the thought of what that means for his sister.

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My sister dated my best friend from high school three decades ago and it ended up badly after a year. At the time, he had a substance abuse problem and stole about $800 from her. Yeah, it was a bad time.

 

She got past him and married a guy that was also a friend of both me and my best friend.

 

Three decades later, I synced up with the guy, he long ago cleaned up his act. I invited him to my wedding (second wife), 2 years ago.

 

My sister was furious with me for doing that!

 

My friend did not attend, but I stay in contact on FB. His poor behavior and her bad decision to date him in the 70s, is still a problem, now in 2016.

 

Whereas, if she didn't date him, he still would have cleaned up his act and our friendship would not be affected by those two dating in 19 friggin 78.

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This is not about your or your feelings OP.

 

It's about your brother losing his best friend and being caught in the middle between 2 people he loves.

 

SOMEONE along the line WILL get hurt.

 

I would suggest that you ignore your feelings, disengage from this person. Ocean is FULL of fish, why limit it to a one little pond?

 

Don't be selfish, be considerate of your brother and his friendship. Stay away is my best advice.

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Your brother probably knows something you don't. He is his best friend, after all. Also, maybe he expected his friend to tell him first, before starting dating you. I don't have brothers or sisters but I wouldn't like it if I suddenly found out my best friend was dating my brother and she hadn't told me anything.

How old are you all?

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We can't choose who we fall in love with. There are sooo! Many reasons why you could think your brother doesnt approve, but the best way to find our surely, would be to ask him. You said you are not close, so I understand why you would be reluctant to approach him, but rather than guess work, would be easier if you had something concrete. Maybe sit and talk with your brothers friend to see if he has any insight, as to why your brother may not approve, but I still think best to talk directly to the source. I hope this makes sense.

 

Christina

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