Ex girlfriend appears

[luishenrique]

Ok, I have this ex- girlfriend. We were close friends that fell for each other. We dated for 2 months and she broke things off. She wanted to remain friends after the break, I agreed but 2 months later, she started seeing a new guy and it made me feel hurt. I told her the friends thing was not working for me and I needed a time apart in order to get over her. So I went No Contact. 20 days into No Contact, she texts me out of the blue to inform that she's stopped seeing the new guy, she is sure she doesn't want nothing with him. She also say she misses me a lot and it's being real hard for her this no contact period and she feels lost without my presence. I texted back saying I would make no comments on her dating situaton and that I was sorry about the way she feels but time apart was the best for now. We stopped texting at this point.

 

Question: Why does she come to me, ou of the blue, to inform that she's single and feeling lost without me but still refuses to get back together?

 

Maybe I'm getting it wrong, but this whole situation... Man, it makes no damn sense.

[dmjord]

My guess is the new guy she was seeing was a rebound. She got bored with him and needed someone in her life, so she is going to the guy she's thinking will just take her back. It is not a good idea to be friends with an ex after a breakup because it can make things worse. You were only dating for two months. That's not much time at all in my opinion. She sounds like someone who's just hungry for a guy's attention and thinks she can get it from you. I'd stay away from her.

[Wiseman2]

She wants a shoulder to cry on. Your first instinct of no just-friends, no contact was correct.

I told her the friends thing was not working for me and I needed a time apart in order to get over her. So I went No Contact.

Question: Why does she come to me, ou of the blue, to inform that she's single and feeling lost without me but still refuses to get back together?

[East4]

With all my respect to the gentleman's advice here, I do think that OP's ex extended the olive branch and wants to rekindle things. OP, how did you make of it that she didn't want to reconcile? She said she felt lost without your presence, this is a door set ajar for you. I wouldn't say it to an ex if i wasn't interested to get back. Of course, always a good idea to thread carefully, but the way I read it, she does have a soft spot for you. Good luck.

[Scoe141]

Sorry you're going through this I'm sure it's not easy.

 

It sounds like she thought the grass was greener on the other side. She realized that it wasn't and now she's calling in her second string QB.

 

Ask yourself, do you want to be with someone who wants to be with you all the time or just when it's convenient for them?

 

If hate for you to be in a situation where this happens again. Because I'm sure it's going to be on your mind.

 

If you can feel safe, go for it. But you should always feel safe in your relationship.

 

Good luck.

[reinventmyself]

Or she got dumped by this guy and is looking to you, seeing it's obvious you still have feelings, to help prop her up.

 

Don't fall for being demoted to a friend or a therapist.

 

No harm in asking some direct questions to find out exactly what her intentions are. Flush it out and move on.

[luishenrique]

Thanks everyone for replying. I know it could mean she still has a soft spot for me or she thinks I'm just a shoulder to cry on. Anyway, after replying to her I kept no contact. I'll let the time say what she trully feels for me, what's genuinely in her heart

[HeartGoesOn]

Question: Why does she come to me, ou of the blue, to inform that she's single and feeling lost without me but still refuses to get back together?

 

The well ran dry, and she wants to place you on the shelf for a "sloppy seconds" candidate. She has clearly demonstrated what she's all about, therefore don't take the bait.