is getting her back possible

[nacher]

ok i'll make my story short. i dated this girl for 13 months she broke up with me. starting dating a new guy within two weeks. i did No contact for 3 weeks, she came back to me broke it off with the other guy and we started dating again. then shortly after she broke it off with me again because there were problems and she was confused and etc.....

 

the we did NC for 3 more weeks she calls me one night crying syaing she'll never be able to egt over me.

 

she ended up dating the same guy again, now they are in a relationship.

 

i read a book about getting backtogether.

 

then the x calls me and says she wants to hang out and be friends. well the book says that even if she has a new guy i could still win her back. so i have been using the bookd startegy. it is really hard at times though. knowing that she is sleeping with another guy.

 

we have been friends for like 6 weeks now, meeting maybe once a week. she has told me earlier she still loves me but recently she hasn't mentioned anything. although she always stresses how much she likes me and how i am her type. and recently she has been fighting with her boyfriend.

 

but she tells me that she is happy right now and is not going to leave him for me.

 

there are so many more things but i wanted to keep it short.

 

but pretty much i wanted to know if anyone has been successful getting there exes back and if they think my situation is hopeless or not and maybe give me some advice.

 

she still calls me all the time i never call her. she really does enjoy my company and had fun with me but it is not enough to bring her back.

 

what do i do?

[MetallicAguy]

I have been successful, you can FOR SURE get her back though. Possibly not when she has her bf that she has right now. But once she breaks up you have to ask her out immediately. I tryed to get her back when she was in a relationship with her bf, then she "can't" it was crap. Then once they broke up I hung out with her at her house, watched a movie, then I asked her out at the end of the night. (It was kind of a good time too, because she wanted to see me more at the end of the night so I went on my computer and she just started talking for 3 hours it was 2am so I said I had to go I'm really tired.) Then she just couldn't leave me alone stop talking to me for weeks (around 5 weeks of wanting to hang and a lot of talking on the phone, etc.) I had all this power over the relationship it was awesome. She couldn't stop leaving me alone because I had some "magical" sentence I said to her and then she was all like "Awww" then kissed me. So anyways besides what happened about 5 months ago, I think you can get her back. Just that when she's with her bf it is nearly impossible to win her over her current bf. Anyway Good Luck.

[nacher]

by the we are both 21 if that matters at all. and if you need more info please let me know i will be glad to share

[ang3l2004]

Well if she is with someone and she says that she is happy with this person stand back and let her realize what she wants to do,If she wants you she will come to you that is what I am told everyday about my ex bf though I dont think he is with anyone but you never know,I would not be to pushy but show her you still have feelings for her because that is the truth,I hope things work out for you and hopefully mabe oneday you will get what you want and you to can work on things together

[chai714]

It's always possible to get back your ex. A big part of getting back your ex though, depends on the QUALITY of your relationship. When you were with her, was it a high quality relationship, or not? This is huge. Many people tend to overlook this component in getting their ex back.

 

I can not emphasize enough - reading a single book on how to get your ex back is a huge mistake. Do not let these silly books give you hope. Your real knowledge should come from how to seduce, and how to influence other people's behavior. Many here would not agree with using tactics to get your ex back, it is possible to do it with what I call, "loving manipulation." Basically, this is a series of psychological tactics and knowing a few things about seduction to get your ex back. It's not bad because you would be doing it out of love, rather than revenge.

 

As far as seeing her while she has this boyfriend, I don't see benefits to this behavior. What you're telling her, is that it's ok for her to lean on you for emotional support when times are tough with her boyfriend, and when it's all good, you're out of the picture bud. Unless you are the master at seduction and using psychological tactics, re-think your approach and continually evaluate your performance with her (i.e. what is working, what is not). This takes some abstract thinking, but it can be done.

[nacher]

so what are these manipulation/psychological techniques???

[lawandorder]

Never mention her relationship with the other guy. never mention your past relationship with her nor ask her back. Chill... Get your life as perfect as you can. Your body mind and soul. Set some goals and dont gvie up on them. If it is working out or what ever. Act happy all the time. Be indiferent about the relationship you had. Like it does not matter what so ever. Be nice. But never go anywhere with her on the time she wants. Date other people. Dont screw up and fall for someone else but date others. I messed up and fell for someone else. Long story. NC is great for a short time. To drop a email or text and just say your waving a hand to say hi. Nothing more. Keep you on her mind.

 

There are alot of things you can do to bring her back but it takes time and you have to be real careful on how you do things. Think first.

 

Most of all get your self the way you have dreamed of. Actions speak alot louder than words. Dont worry about who she is with. She was with others before you and if you are broke up then she is free and you are free. Sorry but that hurts but you cant hold that against her nor her against you. So get in shape and date others. It will help you all the way around and help you get her back. She can do it why cant you??

[heloladies21]

Being her friend must be very uncomfortable for you. Holding my feelings back when i'm interested in somebody is something i've never been able to do and i don't want to do it. You need to send her a message G, that if she's not interested in being in a relationship with you, then she doesn't get to call you, email you, complain to you about her problems, all that stuff that she's doing to you right now. If you've told her that you still have feelings for her and she doesn't reciprocate, then cut her off and find someone new. There's plenty out there for you buddy, forget her like a bad dream. Remember, if she broke up with you, it's her job to get you back, not the other way around.

[jazn84]

NC is great for a short time. To drop a email or text and just say your waving a hand to say hi. Nothing more. Keep you on her mind.

 

 

I agree with everything you said but how would NC be great for a short time? And a simple text can show her she still has control esp if shes with another guy right?

[Marko]

ok....she's stringing you along, keeping you as a safety net and getting the best of both worlds.

 

If she comes back, you'll realize this evetually and begin to resent her. Or she will walk all over you, like she is now.

 

I was being strung along, and went into NC. Yesterday I found out she was seeing some scum bag that I know. I lost all respect for her. I stopped at her place, and told her waht i thought....

 

That she is stupid, just like every other dumb wh0re, etc. etc. The i told her I never wanted to see or hear from her again.

 

and I meant it.

 

I feel 42,000 x's better.

 

I also purposely slept with sombody last night knowing it would get back to her, and help me get over her.

 

Thats what I did in your situation.

 

just into NC if this other b/f thing doesn't bother you. If you think the guy sucks, use that as reasoning on how you were wrong about her. Tell her what you think, then move on.

[alphonsefa]

I did the same thing this past Saturday. We had 2 breakups, she caused both for absolutely no reason at all. Well there was ine reason, she wanted me and her EX, and he is a scum bag too!. Recently she had started calling me again out of the blue. This chick dumped me twice and I never called her again. She came back for the second time and then started the head games again, by Saturday I had enough! This head case actually told me that she went back to the EX a week after she had taken off on me for the second time. This girl wanted a ring from me on Christmas to get engaged; by New Years day she ran back to the EX. So she came over to get some clothes she had left at my house. I ripped into her with my closing statement being, "next time you get depressed, don't f####ing call me!" She said, "I'll never call you again"! I responded, "good, go the F### away, you're a nightmare and always have been a nightmare". I let my guard down with this girl because the EX she was involved with had abused her, mostly mental abuse, but there were a couple of physical incidents too. I told her that those two deserve each other becuase he's a sick F### for treating her the way he does, and that she's a sick F### for always going back. Listen guys and gals, don't take BS from the EX in an effort to win them back. Lay your cards on the table, be as brutally honest as you have to be. Then turn and walk away. Do not become a doormat for them so that they can pick you up and put you down whenever they need an emotional abuse. Trust me, I speak from experience, once you allow that, the relationship is done!