loulou76 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Hi, I've recently become single after a relationship of five years. I am at the age where a lot of my friends have settled down, rather than stay in a relationship where we were both leading separate lives and had grown apart, I decided to call it a day. We are both still friends, nothing more. As my friends are all in relationships and settled down, I'm now the only the only who is single. Not lookin for sympathy or anything. Through my day to day life I got friendly with a guy I travel to work with who works on the train, he is 13 years older than me. When we first started talking, about July 2015, he acted friendly with me and though I liked him, I found him very chatty for a stranger. through friends I found out he was married (they on facebook - I'm not) but in the last few months I have heard he split from his wife. In about Sept 2015..... Recently his friend tried to fix me up with him, saying things like oh he likes you etc ................ I kinda shrugged it off, cos it is too soon after a marriage... My friend who is kinda my best friend says I should ''Go for it'' as when he sees me he apparently 'really smiles' at me.. and is genuine?? he asks her about me?? he always asks nice things.. I haven't been too good and he was helping me on train n fetching and asking if I felt ok etc... I'm wary as like a few months after breaking from a long term relationship surely he is on the rebound? My friend says I'm too sceptical and untrusting but I'm thinking if he's on the pull only a month later of a long marriage.... He comes across as a nice guy but it's not really the age difference more like it's a bit soon.... Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 It's way too soon after a marriage of any length. And since he's in his 40s, safe to assume he was in his 20s when he married. Take a pass. Link to comment
loulou76 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Share Posted December 24, 2015 Just feelin' a bit fed up n lonely... many of my friends have husbands but think I'd rather be alone than unhappy...... Am I too wary or am I right ( just a bit unsure n doubting myelf atm, maybe the time of year having an effect lol) Link to comment
Gloworm Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Id give him a try when you feel ready. Link to comment
loulou76 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Share Posted December 24, 2015 Thanks, very much for replying, thought it was me getting too cynical and wary, but to be in a relationship for all those years and just a few weeks be after other ladies,,, i have seen him on dating sites too.... i have been 'cool' to him maybe he knows i'm kinda on my own - i've been acting 'cool' lately since finding out he was married Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Your friend is wrong. He is out of a long-term relationship and not ready for anything more than fun. Link to comment
jjkk Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 If you want something long term I wouldn't go there. I agree with the others. It's too soon out of his marriage. If you want to have a few dates and just have fun, then yes, go for it, but go in with eyes wide open and realize that most likely nothing serious will come of it. Link to comment
j.man Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Your friends aren't terribly bright. Link to comment
loulou76 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Share Posted December 24, 2015 Thanks for reading my post to everyone.. Just i sometimes doubt myself. especially the times when on my own, But thanks for the advice, I will try to get another train, haven't seen him in ages, maybe he got message after i didn't reply to is friend was hinting at me and him getting together. I'm better now too, had to get train everday to get dressings changed at hospital as wasn't allowed to drive, so he saw me everyday now i don't need that train... have'nt seen him in a month... Link to comment
loulou76 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Share Posted December 24, 2015 lol... then they come to me saying '' oh my guy did this n that'' n end up crying n that.... sigh... Link to comment
loulou76 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Share Posted December 24, 2015 maybe it is just the way his face lights up when he sees me - me being on my own too long - but i defo think it too soon, if it meant to be will be, so in meantime, try to avoid him............. Link to comment
journeynow Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Too soon for both. Give yourself time to heal from your break up, to process it, and learn from the relationship you had, gain a good sense of yourself as a result and be clear what you want and need in the future. No rush. Friends who have settled down will have their own dramas at times, it's all "life" and no need to feel pressure to be like anyone else. Link to comment
loulou76 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Share Posted December 24, 2015 Thanks so much... seeing so many people breaking up from each other lately... sigh Link to comment
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