hazel125 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Me and my ex broke up about 5 weeks ago... Reason behind it was I took her for granted that past 5 months of our relationship, which is true.. I lost my job and became too comfortable with staying at home all day in our apartment as she worked hard to keep us there.. I stopped asking how her day was and all around just stopped paying attention and making her feel wanted.. I went NC for about 3 weeks so I could reflect on my issues and understand how I could fix them. The day after our break up I had ask her to mail me a few dog toys for our dog. About 3 week later, last Thursday she texts me here's the convo her- "hey, hope you got the dog toys in the mail" Me- "yes, thank you" Her- "good! I made sure to pack her favorite toy!" Me- " Yeah she got it, currently running the beach" Her- "aww lol please be careful" me- "I'm always careful, so how are you" her- "I'm alright, work is stressful. Hbu?" Me- "Working and playing with the dog so I'm doing well, why us it stressful?" Her- "just exhausted is all" Me- " we'll your winter break is coming! You'll be able to relax!" She replied the next morning at 6am but when I texted back after work she never got back. I don't really know what I should do now? Do I keep giving her space? Or try to teat her with low contact? Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 If you want to move then NC is recommended.LC will not allow you to accept the relationship is over-as long as you're having this contact, as limited as it is-all you'll doing is picking a scab that is never going to heal and will eventually become infected.My vote is COMPLETE NC Link to comment
BeHeard Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I had read your background from a previous post but didn't get around to responding. LC is limbo IMO. You either MOVE ON or DON'T. You move on with NC. If it's meant to be and you two circle around again, then ok, but you have no control over that in the meantime and there's no point in letting new opportunities and experiences pass you by while you wait. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 When you stay in contact with an ex it only allows them to wean themselves off of you comfortably while keeping yourself tortured and on the hook. I'd give her the gift of missing you. Link to comment
Annia Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I'm sorry but what does LC stand for? Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 When you stay in contact with an ex it only allows them to wean themselves off of you comfortably while keeping yourself tortured and on the hook. I'd give her the gift of missing you. Agreed. Also I like your sig, Catfeeder! Too true! Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I'm sorry but what does LC stand for? Light Contact. Link to comment
No1 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I dont believe that NC is the all world cure for every break up. Sometimes limited contact can help you and sometimes it cant. It all depends on the condition of the break up. So here is my general rule. If your blood pressure rises before, during or after you contact her... then no contact. If you are left with more questions than you did after contacting her.. then no contact. If you are confused in what to do or say or act or react.. then no contact This no contact and limited is a tool to help the dust settle. You have to add this with other tools to help you heal. So if you feel any anxiety about contacting her then you let need to contact her go. Link to comment
indie Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I also vote for no contact if you want to move on. Let's say you were trying to quit smoking. Would you quit cold turkey or would you still smoke a cigarette every other day? The latter might seem easier to do but the truth is you're still not smoke-free. You're already broken up but if you want to move on you need to break up with the break up itself and not drag it out by maintaining contact. Link to comment
hazel125 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Well you see I agree with all of you guys but the catch is, I'm not trying to move on (yet) I wanna atleast see if I can get a second chance. I know what everyone's going to say (move on, blah blah) I understand that, but I was the reason for the breakup. I was taking her for granted and I just wanna see if I can get a fresh start with her but don't know how to approach it? Link to comment
No1 Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 The second chance is not up to you, its up to her. If you want her to miss you then she has to see a life without you. Now I can tell you that if you are standing in the same place and not improving on yourself then you think she is going to come back? Why come back to the same situation she was before when there are tons of other guys out there who will not take her for granted. If you are just going to be the same guy and not have a job or future what incentive does she have to come back? None... And why do you want her back? When you had her you took her for granted so I ask the question 'why do you want her?' Do you think all of a sudden she is this amazing GF? Or is this an Ego thing because you lost. You lost and now its a challenge to get her back? Point is, its not up to you, its up to her. So if you want her back she has to see for herself the improvements you done. Just wanting her back because you lost her is not a good enough reason. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Now you have a couple posts regarding this girl. What exactly is stopping you from coming right out and asking her? Link to comment
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