HelpAware Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 I started speaking to a beautiful and charming woman in August and we met up, spoke a lot on WhatsApp and had a great connection. She was everything I wanted in a woman and we told each other that we loved each other. It was too soon but I think, because we had such chemistry it just happened. We were saying soulmates, made for each other (This came from her.) It was great, I really do care about this woman. However, we began to speak too much and everything became far too intense and we just broke into such a mess. She asked for space so I gave her that, she blocked me off WhatsApp and Facebook. She broke the silence by sending me a love heart but she said that she was drunk. I asked her what is going on but she said she wants to just be friends, I asked her if she trusts me, she said she didn't. She added me back onto Facebook and I sent her a message saying that I missed her. She has not replied and is ignoring me. It hurts me so deeply that she said to come back to her and I felt we were maybe going to work out somehow but now she said she doesn't trust me! I don't know why she is ignoring me? I don't know how to be okay. Surely she must not care about me if she is now ignoring me? Can anyone help me figure this out? I constantly worry that she will block me off Facebook again because she's done it a few times. I want her in my life but I don't understand everything that has happened or why she is ignoring me? Please help me. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 She has commitment issues. The rushing bit is a huge red flag. Block her, as all you will get is a string along, and much more pain. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Did you ever actually meet her? Online relationships generally dont work out. Being in such a hurry to declare being in love is a huge mistake with someone you dont really know. Best to block her and move on and take it a lot slower next time. Link to comment
HelpAware Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 Thank you for your replies Hollyj and melancholy123 :subdued: Link to comment
HelpAware Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 Did you ever actually meet her? Online relationships generally dont work out. Being in such a hurry to declare being in love is a huge mistake with someone you dont really know. Best to block her and move on and take it a lot slower next time. Yes I met her twice. We just spoke too much on Facebook and WhatsApp. It became far too intense, far too fast. The second day after we first met she said soulmates and I was very taken aback but I cannot even see how this all fell into such a mess. Link to comment
HelpAware Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 She has commitment issues. The rushing bit is a huge red flag. Block her, as all you will get is a string along, and much more pain. She changed her mind several times and my heart has been flung all over the place. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 You cannot know someone that you have seen twice. Virtual relationships are fantasy, and quite detached. Look for someone that you can have a normal relationship with. Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 I would block her instead so you can get off this emotional roller coaster and move on Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 i'm always suspicious of people who are all "soulmates", "fate", constant texting early on. it's like they have an unsatiable hunger for some type of intimacy that they haven't been able to create in real life for a long time so they're desperate to experience some semblance of it- with the other person at a safe distance so there aren't many chances of the other noticing and calling them out on whatever behavior prevents them from forming a real, quality bond. sorry man...seems like you stumbled upon a walking mess. i think thinking too deeply into it and searching for reasons doesn't make much sense as this is likely her own issue that dates way back before she spotted "your kindly soul". yeah, i'd leave the facebook and whatsapp lovers to whoever has the energy to deal with shady folk. give the folks who prefer to connect offline a chance. gah the internet has made a lot of things weird, hasn't it. there's more folks to choose from, but a lot of them are connecting online instead of offline for a reason Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 OP, you're just as unavailable as she is, or you would never have been attracted to this dramatic dynamic. This was not a normal, or healthy relationship. How can one be a soulmate after the second date! I would think this would come from the six-month on period. Link to comment
HelpAware Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 OP, you're just as unavailable as she is, or you would never have been attracted to this dramatic dynamic. This was not a normal, or healthy relationship. How can one be a soulmate after the second date! I would think this would come from the six-month on period. I was taken aback, and if I look through the messages she was saying things very quickly. I went with it because I truly felt so happy, no one had ever said those things to me before. She is a great person and I would really like to meet her in 'real life', because we've been through so much through typing. She doesn't want to at all and I need to respect that, however much it is hurting me. Ignoring me is hurting too, then again, I didn't ask a particular question. I should man up but I care so much. Link to comment
HelpAware Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 i'm always suspicious of people who are all "soulmates", "fate", constant texting early on. it's like they have an unsatiable hunger for some type of intimacy that they haven't been able to create in real life for a long time so they're desperate to experience some semblance of it- with the other person at a safe distance so there aren't many chances of the other noticing and calling them out on whatever behavior prevents them from forming a real, quality bond. sorry man...seems like you stumbled upon a walking mess. i think thinking too deeply into it and searching for reasons doesn't make much sense as this is likely her own issue that dates way back before she spotted "your kindly soul". yeah, i'd leave the facebook and whatsapp lovers to whoever has the energy to deal with shady folk. give the folks who prefer to connect offline a chance. gah the internet has made a lot of things weird, hasn't it. there's more folks to choose from, but a lot of them are connecting online instead of offline for a reason I totally understand you and thanks for your words! I just put a lot of heart into everything that I do and this woman was no exception. I would love to meet up with her in person to bare our souls, but that isn't going to happen. As much as it hurts I just need to forget, I just feel like I have been pushed and pulled around and invested so much thought into her soul. She is beautiful and I do want to see her but it's never going to work out if she is ignoring me, even though I didn't ask a specific question. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 I was taken aback, and if I look through the messages she was saying things very quickly. I went with it because I truly felt so happy, no one had ever said those things to me before. She is a great person and I would really like to meet her in 'real life', because we've been through so much through typing. She doesn't want to at all and I need to respect that, however much it is hurting me. Ignoring me is hurting too, then again, I didn't ask a particular question. I should man up but I care so much. If something feels off, it usually is. If you look at this realistically, you will recognize that someone cannot be ones soulmate after two meetings. Didn't you think that was weird? Huge red flag!! How in the world can you go through so much in typing? I'm sorry, but this sounds odd. I suggest you check your own patterns of availability, as this never had a future. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Also, didn't you think it was a bit off, when Someone claims you as a soulmate, but doesn't want to spend time together ? Link to comment
HelpAware Posted November 28, 2015 Author Share Posted November 28, 2015 Also, didn't you think it was a bit off, when Someone claims you as a soulmate, but doesn't want to spend time together ? Yes. We were supposed to meet but because of all this incessant 'typing' drama, we never did. I have asked two further times to meet in person but she isn't obliging. It is hard for me as I do not understand her one bit. It is very hard for me when I am being ignored, because I never did anything 'wrong' to this girl. I gave her space, but she broke the silence! She has played with my emotions so badly yet I am still thinking of her all the time. It sucks. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Yes. We were supposed to meet but because of all this incessant 'typing' drama, we never did. I have asked two further times to meet in person but she isn't obliging. It is hard for me as I do not understand her one bit. It is very hard for me when I am being ignored, because I never did anything 'wrong' to this girl. I gave her space, but she broke the silence! She has played with my emotions so badly yet I am still thinking of her all the time. It sucks. I don't think you read anything that we wrote. This never had a chance. Lasting and loving relationships do not start out like this. You do not call someone your soulmate after two dates. If you care for someone, you do not have a virtual relationship, when you can actually see them. This was a fantasy. Period. You need to understand emotional unavailability, because if you were available you would have bolted. You would have known that this was not healthy. Also, the fact that you stayed in this non relationship, shows that you are drawn to drama and someone who is not consistent- this is safe for you, as they can never make the commitment. Do yourself, and us a favor, go back and reread the answers. . Link to comment
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