Now her best friend is trying to get us to talk...

[Seymore]

Just went through the day from hell and come home to a text from my ex's best friend saying it kills her to see her best friend suffer, she needs closure and the only way she will get it is a conversation with me, she didn't put her up to this and doesn't know she contacted me and won't contact me again.

 

This never ends. I need to remain strong and not reply. Closure comes from within. I don't know why my ex is acting like me leaving was out of the blue and without reason...I WARNED her for two whole years that this would happen if she didn't shape up.

[Seraphim]

Tell her best friend to NEVER contact you again and block her number .

[Seymore]

I don't want to open any communication and she already said she wouldn't contact me again (her friend was actually a reasonable person and I believe her), so i wont reply but I will block her to be safe. Thank you Victoria.

[Dottieflanogon]

your ex sounds crazy lol, I agree with the idea of blocking her

[Seymore]

She does the victim thing so well - always has. I've told her at least a dozen times that if her behavior didn't stop, I was gone. Now that I left, she's going around acting like I just up and abandoned her, telling people she has no idea why I left. It's sick.

 

She doesn't want closure, she wants to manipulate me into thinking I was wrong and to get back with her. Same way she got me to be in the relationship in the first place. She's tricky.

[Dottieflanogon]

I would not responding at all to anything she says. Period. She'll eventually realize that it's really not going to work and she'll give up.

 

At this point, just ignore her. If the relationship was as toxic as you said in your previous threads then she can't understand why then there is not much you can do.However, even if you give her negative attention, like yelling at her, it will just give her hope that eventually she will be able to turn the negative attention into positive. Barring that, she may just be happy to get negative attention from you.In which case, it doesn't matter how she wants to contact you - just don't respond. They say not saying anything is the loudest message you can sent

[Seymore]

Thank you Dottie. It definitely was as toxic as I said, and I still didn't tell everything. But heck, if I've had to call the police on you in the past (along with a lot of other things) and you say you don't know what you did wrong, that's a glaring issue.

 

I feel terrible that shes hurting, yet at the same time I'm glad because she had it coming, if it makes any sense.

[ParisPaulette]

Block the ex's best friend. And yes, your ex did put her up to it even if it was just through sighing and crying.

 

I'm sorry Seymore, but these people are all shades of bleeped up. I mean, I can't even imagine. And please remember, this is not about your ex hurting. It's about her getting control. She's manipulative and now she's doing the whole "I'm so hurt" when the truth is she isn't at all. She's p**sed because she's lost control of you.

 

Stay NC, block any and all people who try to "help" you and ignore them. You lived with the woman, you know the crazy sh** that happened, they don't. And the whole "closure" thing makes me want to vomit every time I hear it. Nobody owes "closure." It's not even a real thing for relationships. It was originally a therapy tool to let someone ease the psychological pain of losing someone to violent or unexpected deaths.

 

Your ex doesn't want "closure," she wants "control." Don't give it to her. Just keep blocking and deleting them all. Vent here when you need to, you are doing the right thing completely.

[catfeeder]

So the drama ex has a drama friend. I'd block both of them and breathe deep into your liberation from all of that.

 

Head high.

[Seymore]

Thank you everyone. Paris - yes, control! Not closure. She realizes no decent person will put up with her crap and is stuck now.

 

Catfeeder - it was constant drama, if not from her, then people in her family or friends or whatever. It was such a drain. When I called the police on her the one time, her best friend texted me saying "you didn't have to do that, you could have just called me". Which would solve nothing.

[Seraphim]

So in other words her best friend is not reasonable at all. She expects her friend to get away with abusing people because well ,she's her best friend. Yeah,NO.

[Seymore]

Good point Victoria, never thought of it that way!