ABelgianGirl Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 That's a good answer I think this is what I wanted to hear/read... Link to comment
ABelgianGirl Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 As I say myself... Link to comment
ABelgianGirl Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 I didnt tell him directly because at that time I thought I would lose him & there is a big chance I would have because the situation is pretty absurd & hard to understand if you don't know the reasons behind it. I think, after all these years I finally understand why I did it & that's why I am now ready to tell him. It took a long while because I ignored it and tried to forget & because it's complicated Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 So it's been almost 2 weeks (or 6 yrs) and you're still thinking about it rather than acting on it. If its so important that you do this, why haven't you done so? Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk Link to comment
ABelgianGirl Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 because there never seems to be the right time, because things are going so well, because we both have very busy lives. Because I'm scared. I am getting my degree & if I would lose him, I'm not sure if i would still have the courage to finally finish my studies. Anyway yes I will try to find a moment. Link to comment
ABelgianGirl Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 Because I got beaten up by my previous boyfriend, I really learned how to ignore things and pretend they did not really happen. Probably hard to understand if you haven't been in that situation. Anyway thanks all for your input, fingers crossed. Best Link to comment
overthemoon86 Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Why do you have this urge to tell him something that happened six years ago?? And it's not like you had some full blown affair or you are hiding a body somewhere. You kissed someone! And it was six years ago....so at this point, you really should have already told him or not told him. If you want to be with this man, you telling him about something you did six years ago is going to wave all sorts of red flags. So my advice to you is to get out of your own head. It happened so long ago. Move on. Link to comment
ABelgianGirl Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 Why do you have this urge to tell him something that happened six years ago?? And it's not like you had some full blown affair or you are hiding a body somewhere. You kissed someone! And it was six years ago....so at this point, you really should have already told him or not told him. If you want to be with this man, you telling him about something you did six years ago is going to wave all sorts of red flags. So my advice to you is to get out of your own head. It happened so long ago. Move on. I just want to treat him the way I would want to be treated. I have a strong feeling that it's wrong to keep anything from the person you love. But I know that I have a pretty black/white vision. I tried to be grey, sorta speak & tried relativating my own errors, but it keeps popping up in my mind. I know it did not mean anything & it's ridiculous in a way to continue to feel bad about it, but you can't control your thoughts and feelings. I wish I could erase it from my head. Then again, yesterday I decided to tell him but today I am in doubt again because things have been going so well these past years, you could say "perfect"... And perhaps it's just useless to bring it up. You are right, the best thing would be to move on... but I haven't figured out how, except telling him & then slowly building up trust again... Also, I thought about how I try to be a good influence on him, trying to make him to stop smoking or smoke less & I'm afraid he will not listen to me anymore for a while... A lot of things to consider. Regrets, I have a few Link to comment
Blue_Skirt Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I think it is time that you learn to forgive yourself. Link to comment
ABelgianGirl Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 I think it is time that you learn to forgive yourself. You are the only person that told me that I should maybe just go for it, tell him & deal with the consequences. Would you tell him? Do you think it's wrong to not tell him? Thank you. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Oh my gosh. . You have gathered 60 exchanges on something you didn't act on 6 years ago. It's time to take the information gathered and either act on it or leave it alone. I doubt anyone can add anything that hasn't already been said. I wish you luck and let us know how it turns out. Link to comment
Blue_Skirt Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 You are the only person that told me that I should maybe just go for it, tell him & deal with the consequences. Would you tell him? Do you think it's wrong to not tell him? Thank you. I said that because you did not seem to listen to what everyone else said, so if it is bothering you so much then tell him AND deal with the consequences. I have never been in your situation, since I don’t kiss, have sex etc. with other men while in a relationship. Link to comment
overthemoon86 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I just want to treat him the way I would want to be treated. I have a strong feeling that it's wrong to keep anything from the person you love. But I know that I have a pretty black/white vision. I tried to be grey, sorta speak & tried relativating my own errors, but it keeps popping up in my mind. I know it did not mean anything & it's ridiculous in a way to continue to feel bad about it, but you can't control your thoughts and feelings. I wish I could erase it from my head. Then again, yesterday I decided to tell him but today I am in doubt again because things have been going so well these past years, you could say "perfect"... And perhaps it's just useless to bring it up. You are right, the best thing would be to move on... but I haven't figured out how, except telling him & then slowly building up trust again... Also, I thought about how I try to be a good influence on him, trying to make him to stop smoking or smoke less & I'm afraid he will not listen to me anymore for a while... A lot of things to consider. Regrets, I have a few ?? I am so confused...You say you want to treat him the way you want to be treated....so how exactly have you treated him over the last 6 years?? I cannot for the life of me figure out why you are so distressed over this random kissing thing six years ago. It really boggles my mind. You have a strong feeling against keeping things from someone you love...BUT YOU DID THAT FOR 6 YEARS!!! I think you have some things you need to deal with...that have nothing to do with this relationship. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Thread has run its course. Link to comment
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