How bad do you think this acne scarring is?

[derPhilosoph]

Below is almost a copy and paste of a reddit post I made a short time ago. I pasted it here with links to pics of my scarring to get more people's honest opinions.... Be blunt, say the truth - I can handle anything people say about it since people's words and actions over the past 15 years prove that no one can say anything original that I haven't already heard....

 

 

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Hey all. I tried to post the below text blurb onto the ForeverAlone sub, but didn't have enough karma to do so. So I made my own thread about my condition.

 

The thread topic for the post in FA would have been: "Is anyone FA due to severe acne and/or scarring?"

 

To cut to the chase, below are 4 pics I took in natural outdoor lighting.

 

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I made my way to this sub (ForeverAlone) after watching several vids and reading a lot of forums about MGTOW. Whether I like it or not, I have been that way for many years before I even knew what it was (am almost 30 soon....).

 

So basically, even though my friends (what few of them still talk to me from college), and some acquaintances that I put on the spot and ask them about it, think my acne scarring of my face isn't that bad, I think it is.... A recent derm Dr. I saw in my region about possible scar treatments even said it wasn't that bad (but was he just saying that to be nice? most likely....).... Anyway, I am pretty sure it is the main reason no women around my age are interested in dating me....

 

Anyway, so did I let that bring me down or make me bitter? I tried not to. Instead, I am not ashamed to say I used the internet and an escort to lose my V-card.... I truly believe that the ancient civilizations that allowed prostitution were onto something.... They knew human nature and what it took to make everyone generally happy.... My advice for those who want to get over the first time sex "barrier" is to go to a country (or Nevada) where it is legal.... Save some money and go for it; that is of course, if you have given up on holding out on letting happen organically....

 

I am never married (and don't plan to be), don't have kids, etc. I have too many hobbies and stuff to fill my time... Most of the hobbies I do (computer gaming, tinkering with engines or electronics, etc.) don't require other people.... Honestly, (I don't intend to offend those that believe in a modern religion), the world became much easier to understand when I accepted this "fact" : Based on everything I have seen, read, heard, etc., I truly believe that humans are simply slightly smarter apes.... As such, many people barely function above their lizard brain in terms of daily reasoning and the brain areas that govern sexual selection are most like very old and in the lizard brain also.... It simply is.... It really cannot be changed, especially since patriarchy and religion has been on the decline for almost 50 years in many parts of the world... You gotta do what you gotta do to get by..... If you meet someone who actually is interested in dating or an LTR, I see no fault in lying about one's past relationship experience etc., since so many people lie about so many things anyway..... I try not to be cynical, but a quote I read saying that people who believe behave really no differently than nonbelievers - they just ask for forgiveness once a week.... I don't want to sound too negative about this, but I think that human morality can exist even without a religion basis and therefore it seems like people will generally want to be good to each other as long as everyone gets a "piece of the pie" so to speak...

 

So basically, try to live this life to the best that you can. I know it doesn't help much to say that there are many others out there who have it a lot worse in their life than you do, but sometimes more perspective is all you need...

[annie24]

I actually don't think it's that bad. If you are self conscious, you can go to a reputable aesthetician. Try to find recommendations for a good (not necessarily cheap!) salon in the area. Try to ask some female friends if they can recommend one. You can get facial peels which will minimize the scars.

[Jetta]

You know, I used face masks, and peels. To minimize scars. They remove top layers and it's inexpensive, do it yourself solution.

[catfeeder]

I honestly don't think it's bad, unless your photos are lousy and I can't see what you want me to see. I doubt the doc was lying, since it doesn't exactly benefit him, and he's experienced in telling people bad news.

 

If you were a woman, you'd likely have trouble appearing feminine--but you may want to reconsider the whole doomed to life alone thing given that rugged looking men are a good thing.

 

I think your primary scars are emotional, maybe from growing up with the acne that caused the scars. Those inner scars are your most likely barrier to finding love and companionship. Lots of people have those scars, and they require effort and healthy interaction with other people to heal them.

 

I would consider working with a therapist to help you realign your perceptions of yourself both physically and psychologically. You may have developed habits that are defensive and keep you secluded, and that only makes it even harder to interact with people over time--so then the whole alone thing perpetuates itself long past the time when the first injuries occurred.

 

That's not necessary in your case. You sound smart enough to respond well to therapy if you can be open to it, or you can continue using your intelligence to work against yourself. That's not against the law, it's just a surefire way of paving the kind of future you don't need to have.

 

Your external scars are no longer a problem. I hope you'll consider working through the internal ones so that you can recognize this.

 

Head high, and write more if it helps.

[alli]

It's noticeable on the left side when viewed from an angle (as in your third picture) but other than that your skin looks pretty clear. Had you not specifically asked about scarring I wouldn't have even known what you wanted us to look for in the other photos. I definitely don't think they are bad enough to deter women from dating you and I really don't think that doctor would have lied to you by saying it wasn't bad. On the contrary, it would benefit him more to say you should come see him wouldn't it?

 

You can research over the counter methods for scar reduction. I used to see a product on the shelves specifically meant to reduce scarring but I don't know anything about it, if it works or if it is even still available. In any case, I don't think others see it as bad as you see it. We are usually our own worst critic.

[Hazyillusions]

It's not bad really! I was looking at the pics trying to figure out where the scarring was. You can only see it somewhat on your cheek. Try a derma roller and Vit C serum. Also try chemical peels if you have the money. I really think it's relatively mild.

[trust101]

You're kidding right? Either you are way too self-conscious or you have a poor quality camera. Relax dude. Your face is completely fine. Be thankful I have seen far, far worse. Those deep pitted scars you have are slightly noticeable, but not so that they are the most prominent feature on your face. Be taking care of your face & in a couple of years as your dead skin cells do their job your skin tone will even out.

[shtupanddrink]

Facial hair my man It's not that bad but if you think it is grow a beard and problem solved. I have some pretty bad scarring near my temples and it sucks. I made it out ok though never had any issues and it never came up in conversations unless I brought it up. Be confident in yourself and don't worry about it. Nobody is perfect, everybody has their flaws either inside or out.

[imsuperman]

I've viewed another of your threads, and I think you run the risk of using a minor physical imperfection as a scapegoat for deeper confidence problems. But it's up to you whether you want to improve things and change your own outlook. You do sound a bit cynical, and you have to remember that others WILL notice that when they interact with you, and it's rarely considered an attractive trait. I don't think starting off a potential relationship with someone by embellishing your past is a good idea. Might be better to either be honest about it or not shout form the rooftops that you've never had a relationship.

[derPhilosoph]

Thanks to those who have replied so far. Maybe I am using this readily seen physical imperfection as a crutch.... However, I am making improvements and have already done a lot of research on acne scar reduction. I had a consultation recently with a Derm in the Boston, MA area that specializes in acne scarring. Although they quoted me some Laser treatments, I will be holding off on those based on what I have read and seen online from other patients. There are many surgical and at home (dermarolling + vit C) methods that are much less risky than lasers, peels, etc. No amount of $$$ however can completely "cure or fix" acne scarring.... I know there are people out there with a lot worse health problems than acne scarring, BUT the thing is is that in a superficial world, if someone cannot see someone else's problems, then those said problems don't really exist....

 

Also in terms of being cynical, well I guess that comes with age.... I no longer see things through rose colored glasses..... The reason I browse reddits like /ForeverAlone and read stuff on MGTOW is because I may end up that way....

[annie24]

To be honest, I know happily married people with scars that are A LOT worse than yours. I don't think it's helpful to blame any one aspect of yourself and use that as proof as to why you are single. I think you just have to keep trying and getting out there and meeting people, making friends, trying to improve yourself. Hang in there.

[petite]

I agree with the others, it really is not that bad. You can ask your doctor to prescribe Retin-A, which can help with the scars, but there is a process to getting used to it, some peeling and sensitivity in the first month, and you need to use sunscreen (but should always anyway), but it has helped a lot of people.

[derPhilosoph]

I've viewed another of your threads, and I think you run the risk of using a minor physical imperfection as a scapegoat for deeper confidence problems. But it's up to you whether you want to improve things and change your own outlook. You do sound a bit cynical, and you have to remember that others WILL notice that when they interact with you, and it's rarely considered an attractive trait. I don't think starting off a potential relationship with someone by embellishing your past is a good idea. Might be better to either be honest about it or not shout form the rooftops that you've never had a relationship.

 

Hi. Thank you for your response. I believe the reason why I may be more psychologically affect by my scarring Rather than physically, is because of what I have read and seen the past several years.

 

I urge readers here to comment on and give analysis on this observation (which isn't uniquely mine nor was I the first to mention this): "In today's very superficial world, if one cannot see someone else's health problems, then those problems don't really exist."

 

I am specifically referring to seeing other strangers in day to day life and basically how easily seen health problems can affect one's attractiveness.... If someone cannot see that someone has diabetes, depression, cancer, then that person doesn't know that the other person has those conditions.... BUT, if someone can easily see something like acne/scarring, other facial disfigurements, limb deformities, etc etc etc., then that may greatly affect what that other person thinks of the person with those conditions: in terms of attractiveness and also just in general as a person...

[catfeeder]

"In today's very superficial world, if one cannot see someone else's health problems, then those problems don't really exist."

 

Naaah, that's bogus. Rugged scarring on a guy can be an enhancement if his emotional baggage doesn't prevent him from wearing it well.

 

If you want to juxtapose superficial, why would a world famous supermodel marry Seal?

[imsuperman]

I think there are very few women that wouldn't date you due to acne scarring alone. However there are a lot more that won't date you because of your lack of confidence and your cynical outlook.