How Do You Handle Being Attacked For what You Believe?

[romantic sweetheart]

Hi everyone. The other night a friend and I were walking in a graveyard looking at all the old tombstones and wondering about the people whose lives they represented.

 

I mentioned that the Greek Orthodox put the gravestone at the feet. My friend asked, "Orthodox of what faith?" I replied that the Orthodox chant in the liturgy that they are of "one catholic and apostolic church."

 

My friend's reply: "Well, Catholics have a superiority complex" and went on to condemn and critisize the Church.

 

I was raised to respect and appreicate everyone's beliefs...I love to learn about new ideas, and I enjoy understanding the beauty of many faiths. I am Catholic, and am hurt by the stereotypes and accusations......Wrongdoings in the past.....are present in every culture...what is emotionally important to me about my faith is the idea of love, compassion, understanding, kindness, charity, respect....appreciation for beauty and life........

 

My friend continued to attack the Church, and even as tears rolled down my cheeks, he went on and told me that he had no respect for the Catholic faith, and that I deserved to hear how awful the Church is because it is true.....

 

I told him that I only wanted to show kindess and respect to everyone I meet, and that I cannot be associated with corruption....just like being white does not mean I participate in racist behaviours...and I do not want to be associated with that unfortunate part of our history.

 

What hurts me is that people looking for the bad will always find it, and callously lay it all out, regardless of how others might feel.

 

There was no stopping my friend's attacks, and no apology. He just shrugged and said he was surprised that I would be hurt, no concern at all that I was indeed hurt.

 

How can I be respected and appreciated for being me? Do I have to feel awful for my beliefs? Am I always to be singled out and discarded for how I believe? My faith has served to make me aware of the spiritual, deep side of life, the life of love and beauty and kindess...that is all I seek to give to another soul. No judgments....just love........for all.......

 

Can anyone relate to this sadness for being so harshly judged?

[GettingOverIt]

I guess we all have reason for what we do or how we behave... You might or might not ever get a 'reason' for his beliefs on this subject... I guess some people weren't raised to respect others' beliefs or even the simple 'if you don't have anything nice to say...' Of course, some folks will say that you should have stepped up and defended yourself... I don't know about all that... The best you can do is separarte yourself from those kinds of people and know that there are others who share the same beliefs as deeply as you do. You may have to look for them, but they're there just the same...

 

I think it was pretty rude not to acknowledge your hurt or at least just stop talking about it when he saw you so upset... I am sorry that he didn't respect you.

[tiger_lilies]

I was in a similar situation of where my friend's husband who's of the Jehovah's Witness faith was bashing Roman Catholics. My family are hard core Catholics and I was raised as one (although I'm no role model)!

 

I was subjected to my friend's husband's bashing and I tried to stick up for my religion without bashing his faith, but I quickly realized that it just isn't worth it. You can't change how others think.

 

I believe that your "friend" was completely insensitive towards your feelings and is most likely speaking out of ignorance. Ignore his accusations and realize that he has demeaned himself to a lower level of respect from you.

[peanut15]

I was raised Roman Catholic and still very much believe in my faith. I have had a lot of people attack me based on my faith and here I went to Catholic school for 12 years and was told to respect all other faiths. I believe that most people who attack other religions have no idea what they stand for and take no time to understand that people and their faiths are different. I was once approached by a couple at Barnes and Noble and they asked me if I was Christian and I responded "yes I am, I am Catholic". They went on to attack me and say that Catholics aren't Christian. My response was, if you believe in Christ then you are Christian and it is NOT your place to tell me that I am not. I also went to tell the manager of the incident and he threw that couple out...he found out that they were out to convert whomever would listen to them.

 

I don't consider that person a friend if they continue to attack you and your religious beliefs. One thing about friendship is that they do respect everything about you and WILL NOT personally attack you. Your friend was not worth the time of day to defend your beliefs and religion, someone like that is set in their narrow thoughts and will not listen. I suggest you distance yourself as that may get the word out to him that you did not like how he attacked you. My husband is agnostic and still respects my faith and has not ever attacked me.

[DN]

never apologise, never explain and never argue.

 

Just say "I rarely argue about politics or religion and never with people who understand neither"

[Beec]

I am a Catholic, but I also recognize that the Church has done some awful things in its history. It's tough to defend the practice of indulgences, but it also has not been practiced in hundreds of years. It's impossible to defend the Borgia Pope and his activities. However, he's been dead for a few centuries. More recently, it is impossible to absolve the Church of how it handled pedophiles that were members of the priesthood. I've also known a priest or two who just flat-out lied. But these are people. They are not perfect. I think we need to see how and when the Church failed and try to stop that from happening again. (I don't really think this part of the history follows the Orthodox churches, but I am to sure. They have operated as entities outside the Roman Catholic church.)

 

I've also heard of Catholics being called "nominal" Christians, to which I retort: "Wow, I thought we were the originals."

 

Anyway, if you have beliefs they are worth defending, or they are not worth having. And if you endured this on behalf of your belief in Christ, then you should actually be happy, if you read his words. He'll remember.

[LifePak]

Thanks for the reminder. At times i fall prey just like the friend you went to the graveyard with. I've also found many proofs that the people who claim they're christian do much worse things to hurt others than the "normal" people. There is this tendency for some of us to observe those who've known themselves to be "following god's footsteps". But I'm sure deep inside everyone of us, we hope the ray of light to be a solid and consistent one. Personally, I found that the Christian people tries their best to live life happily by learning how to love. And there has been major effects on me recently on some girls whom i've met who are readily to give love. I think if we put 10 people in a room, 2 of whom are *real* christian and 8 of them are people you see on the streets. Then you put yourself into the room. There may well be 5 people who will be friendly towards you, but the purest intent and most enthusiastic ones would be the two *real* christians. It's because they learned how to love.

[annie24]

That you friend has never heard of the Greek Orthodox church means that he doesn't know very much about the world's major religions. It's like a person discussing American politics who has never even heard about the Green Party or the Libertarian Party or Ralph Nader.

 

Your friend obviously knows nothing about religion, so I wouldn't take anything he says very seriously. Save your tears for something more important.

[Cynder]

I agree with DN. I was raised Catholic and have been attacked several times by Catholic-haters. In adultfood I converted to Paganism, which is something I get attacked for on a regular basis still.

 

Just don't argue with them, try your best to change the subject. It is pointless to argue with someone who just DOESN"T want to understand where you are coming from.

[ghozt]

hes not rally a friend if hes insulting your faith. you can getter friends than that

[thisisnotanexit]

i agree with everyone else really. i'm christian too, and boy do i know how it feels to have people stereotype you. i agree, there are plenty of things Christians have done that would give them a bad name, i just hate being assoicate with it. it's like racism, and it hurts. but anyway, i try my best to defend the way i believe in a loving way, never raising my voice or sounding harsh. if they still treat me that way, i pray for them and hope that they will someday learn how to treat human beings with some respect. i try my best to show god's love through my words and actions, but sometimes some people still want to argue. don't give up and don't give in. you keep being who you are, don't let anyone ever stop you. take care and hang in there!

[Yorkrose23]

I am a very devout Catholic, but I do not agree with everything that the church condones. However, I do not think anyone should ever put you down for your beliefs. Part of the greatness of this country is our freedom to freely choose and practice any religion. I know how it can hurt when someone starts bashing something that is near and dear to us. May I suggest next time that you say something like, " You are free to think what you want, but you will not change my opinion on the church, so please do not bash my religion in my prescence."

If he still does not respect you, you may want to look for new friends.

I have friends of all faiths(as well as friends who are Atheists) but we do not sit around and bash each other for our differences. You are friends b/c you have things in common, IMHO, that's what the focus of the relationship should be.

[Cynder]

This is kinda off subject, but kinda not... I was watching TLC yesterday, (like the nerd I am), and there was a documentary on that was actually about Satanism. (Don't panic...) Well through the course of this documentary they were comparing Satanism to other religions of the world amd giving different religions' thoughts on who actually goes to Hell.

 

They interviewed a Catholic priest who read an excerpt from Vatican II. He stated that those who practice the other great religions of the world, and still strive to live a good life and be good to others will not be damned.

 

I just found that refreshing and interesting. Since this thread is mainly about Catholicism I thought I'd post this little tidbit of information.

[romantic sweetheart]

Thank you all for the insightful responses, the encouragement, the kind thoughts. I have thoroughly enjoyed everything written. I am reassured and soothed knowing that people from all faiths have responded in support.

 

I have always loved understanding the great ideas of the world, the wonderful diversity of beliefs and traditions. I eagerly listen to other's ideas and seek to gain a greater wisdom from them.

 

Thank you all dearly for helping me and offering your insights. I am so grateful for all your words. I have re-read them these past few days, which has helped me so much. Thank you......