zero80 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 I am 90 days into NC with my ex that dumped me, well 90 days ago...we spent 6 years together and one day she told me she didn't feel love for me anymore, I left with what dignity I had and left the house we built together, the day she dumped me I was actually happy, I felt free, but only a day or two later I started hating my living arrangements and missed my familiar room, parking spot, routine, everything. I longed for her to call me and tell me to "come home" and up until recently I said if she did ask I would, no questions asked. I don't know if it's the passing of 90 days or bitterness, romanticizing or what, I still think of our life together and still would love to even get an email that says "come home", but when I really think in my mind when I was happy, we were together but it was usually things I did without her , my own routine. We did stuff together and had 6 years that i wouldn't trade for anything , but when I look back I guess I preferred to actually be alone or with my dog, but her still being my girlfriend. Maybe I am trying to rationalize because it seems I have hit a road block , mind you I live over 1,000 miles from her now and she knows it, Do I miss her or my old life with or without her, I don't know anymore. Link to comment
Astrogirl Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 So there's been no contact at all? I think you're missing her and the routine you shared. Link to comment
zero80 Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 So there's been no contact at all? I think you're missing her and the routine you shared. NO contact whatsoever. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 No, it's very normal. I think with my live-in ex, I really dragged my feet in ending the relationship (even though it was really unhealthy and I was unhappy, and I think he was too) because of the routine and familiarity. We had such a history together, and he was like the person equivalent of my old hoodie, just comfortable. I KNEW him, and that within itself was comforting and desirable. Yes, he made me feel like crap and he would make me cry but all that history and familiarity made me feel bonded and I stayed longer than I should have. I missed the routine, the history, the inside jokes, and such for way longer than I missed the actual person. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Yes, it can just be the routine.. having her around now n then, etc Do you have the dog? Link to comment
Astrogirl Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 She could have moved on to be honest. Have you suddenly started to feel like this or has it crept up on you? Link to comment
zero80 Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 Yes I have the dog, there was no question on that, I had him before we even met. She really loved him though and was great to him, I don't know it kind of makes me feel bad she hasn't even asked about him, I really have zero idea what she's up to, nothing at all to go on, and I refuse to start the whole Facebook thing. Thanks for all your helpful replies. Link to comment
zero80 Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 I should just assume she's moved on, she has lots of family and friends around her, I do not. I have always been pretty independent and maybe that was part of the break down of our relationship. I think I tend to shut people out , friends and family. I hate this trait about myself, it almost feels like a defense mechanism or that it's my way to control certain situations. When we were together though it was 95% of the time just us and she seemed to prefer that too, I think she's gone forever and I just need to accept that fact. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 You're still dealing with the proccess of the BU. Keep moving ahead. We always have these momentary fall-backs with feelings & memories. Everything takes time... one day at a time... Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 I didn't read your post cos I am just having a quick marley and look on here in the advert inbetween x factor ... feck it , forgot what I was going to say ... above mentioned marley is obviously bigger than I am right now ... sorry I wasted 40 seconds of everyones life Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 I should just assume she's moved on, she has lots of family and friends around her, I do not. I have always been pretty independent and maybe that was part of the break down of our relationship. I think I tend to shut people out , friends and family. I hate this trait about myself, it almost feels like a defense mechanism or that it's my way to control certain situations. When we were together though it was 95% of the time just us and she seemed to prefer that too, I think she's gone forever and I just need to accept that fact. I think that is something you should really think about. Because while you are moving on well from this breakup, you want to be emotionally available for another relationship. I would encourage you to work on staying connected to family and friends. Link to comment
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