CarolinaKid336 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I just got out of a relationship with my now ex, she's 19 and we dated for a year. What goes on in the head of girl dumpers post breakup. Do they regret leaving someone who treated then right?. why would she side with her friends?, how long is the party phase? Things like that, I could use insight from a girls perspective. Link to comment
Clinton Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Usually they're relieved they've gotten out of a relationship that wasn't working for them. Nineteen is way too young to be in a long term relationship. Go have some fun and forget about her Link to comment
Person1001 Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Coming from a girl who broke off the relationship, unless she left for you for another guy or she had issues (depression, family stuff etc) and she is a genuine loving person, then I can tell you the guy more then likely did not treat her right (this goes for both guys and girls). Do I know leaving my 1st love was the best for me? yes. Did I come out completely alright? No still suffering from a broken heart. Leaving him was one of the hardest things I have done in my short life, but I knew he wasn't invested in the relationship, I could feel that he didn't care for me that much (or as much as he said he did). I did everything in my power to care for him and he never reciprocated and even blamed me when I approached him about me being taken for granted. This is my opinion, so Idk if it fits into this situation. Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 She has bpd so that plays a part in it, I was as supportive as a guy can be. I'm kinda old school, I pull chairs for her to sit, open car doors for her, flowers when I visit her, consistently I might add. I helped her find her biological mother, was there for her during her surgery, and calmed her down when she had emotional rages and family conflicts, her parents loved me, but her friends except one were all against me, apparently I was too conservative. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 In time, she may realize you were a good boyfriend. She sounds like a complete energy drain. Take some time to have some fun and don't worry about dating for a while. Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 In time, she may realize you were a good boyfriend. She sounds like a complete energy drain. Take some time to have some fun and don't worry about dating for a while. I'm very mentally drained, I don't feel like I'll be interested in another person anytime soon but I hope I will get over her, sometimes I feel like my feelings won't ever go away Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Who diagnosed her BPD? Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Who diagnosed her BPD? Her doctor, she went to a mental rehab center for a year. She found me the summer she was released Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Did you know about her health history before you dated her? Did you know she was in a facility? Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Did you know about her health history before you dated her? Did you know she was in a facility? Yes I did, I studied everything I could about Bpd and how to handle people with it. And I helped her deal with alot of things, her issue is being the victim so she won't feel regret. I can't pin everything that she did on her bpd because she can make choices like everyone else but she is driven by emotion Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Yes I did, I studied everything I could about Bpd and how to handle people with it. And I helped her deal with alot of things, her issue is being the victim so she won't feel regret. I can't pin everything that she did on her bpd because she can make choices like everyone else but she is driven by emotion A word to the wise. If someone leaves an in-patient mental health facility for a significant mental disorder, they are not ready for a relationship. No amount of reading up will make them ready. Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 A word to the wise. If someone leaves an in-patient mental health facility for a significant mental disorder, they are not ready for a relationship. No amount of reading up will make them ready. Bpd isn't as bad as people make it out to be, although she was very emotional she could make decisions like everyone else. We made it a year, but she let her friends get her with the grass is greener syndrome Link to comment
Person1001 Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 That really sucks that she didn't appreciate you being there for her. There are a lot of girls who will appreciate how much you are willing to sacrifice. This may take years to find a person that does, but in the end the wait will worthwhile as you won't be stuck in a miserable relationship. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Bpd isn't as bad as people make it out to be, although she was very emotional she could make decisions like everyone else. We made it a year, but she let her friends get her with the grass is greener syndrome i get what you are saying but you have to stop thinking like that... her friends might be a big influence but she has the final say on your relationship, not them.. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 What goes on in the head of girl dumpers post breakup.. Same as what goes on in a guy dumper's head - probably relieved to get out of a relationship that wasn't working for them. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Bpd isn't as bad as people make it out to be, although she was very emotional she could make decisions like everyone else. We made it a year, but she let her friends get her with the grass is greener syndrome I didn't say BPD isn't bad. With treatment and stability, people can function normally. But you just contradicted all of that by saying she was in a facility for a YEAR and had emotional rages. So, I think you should again take a word to the wise and avoid that type of situation in the future. Link to comment
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