How can I stop depending on others and enjoy time alone?

[FleurDeLys]

Hi guys,

So I've noticed that I have tendency to rely on others way too much and to expect them to make me happy. Though I'm used to spending time alone, being alone has gradually became unbearable for me, I feel lonely and neglected. I get no pleasure from doing things alone and seem to only get pleasure or satisfaction when I'm around people. And I tend to feel resentful when my friends make no time for me, don't talk/text for a while, or cancel plans, for instance. I realise people can't always be there for me and have their own life to tend to, but I still get annoyed and resentful.

 

. I feel like I'm depending on people and that I need to learn how to enjoy being by myself, however, I'm not sure how I could do that. I regularly go to the gym, treat myself to nice food, go out sightseeing ect. Things I should be enjoying, but I can't. I don't know why. Whenever I do things alone I get those constant negative feelings of loneliness and emptiness.

 

So does anyone has tips as to what I could do to learn to enjoy solitude and make the best of it? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

[Loriana]

There is this quote by Christopher McCandless that reads "You are wrong if you think that joy emanates only of principally from human relationships. God had placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything that we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living"

 

If you don't know the story of Christopher McCandless he was a man that went to live in the wild and he was so happy with being alone. He was an amazing man there is actually a movie about his story it's called Into The Wild and it's one of the best movies I have ever seen. I would highly recommend that you watch this.

 

It's okay to be a peoples person, but when you rely on them for your own happiness then that isn't good. You have to learn to be happy within yourself instead of relying on others to make you happy. I heard somewhere that the best relationship is the one you have with yourself.

 

The next time you are alone don't look at it as a negative, view it as a positive. For me having time to myself is my favorite time it helps me to think about things and I can just do what I want and relax.

 

When you know you are going to be alone get into your PJ's watch a movie or a TV show with some popcorn or chocolate or whatever snacks you like. You will soon realize how cozy and relaxing it is.

 

Or if it's raining or cold outside one day curl up with some coffee and a good book that's also one of my favorite things to do.

 

Try these things and see how you get on, once you do it more regularly being alone won't be such a bad thing.

 

Good luck

[DancingFool]

Find your passion as cliche as that sounds. What I mean is that you seem to be doing things, but they are not really fulfilling to you, not really interesting. So then you do get fixated on other people to bring about life and entertainment. So my advice is find something that truly interests you, that takes up your effort and time and most importantly, your mind. Something you get engrossed in and feel emotional and mental satisfaction from doing or accomplishing. It's about doing things that leave you feeling fulfilled and satisfied rather than just existing.

[Hermes]

Fleur. I wholly endorse what DancingFool just said above.

 

There is I am sure some talent you have (everyone has some talent) or something that truly interests you above all else. Then got for it. Surprisingly, you will then find there is far more inter-action with the rest of the world as you meet like-minded people who share your passion.

 

Lying around fattening up on chocolate and popcorn, not to mention watching mindless T.V. well, all that will do is make you feel more alone.