I was never his priority that hurts like hell?

[Person1001]

I was so happy w/my 1st until I figured I was no longer a priority in his overall life. He told me that I was a very nice difference from the girls he has dated before, that I truly cared for him. That made me feel so happy. Over the months though I started feeling like I was falling lower on his list. He wanted to marry me, something we both talked about, yet made no effort to move forward in life to be able to take that step. I currently am looking for a better job and trying to continue my education. He had no goals/interests/aspirations for life in general. We used to spend tons of time together, this didn't bother us as we never got tired of each other. I noticed he started going to the bar more often by himself, without me, when I would be w/him he wouldn't feel like going anywhere w/me. It got to a point where on his days off he would rather spend the day at home alone playing games/vegetating instead of going somewhere w/me or even spending time w/me. He got extremely upset when I brought up that I felt taken for granted, I was always there for him, going out of my way, while he took the lazy way out not going out of his way for me at all. He had no money to be able to marry me, but was able to go out to the bar once a week (that gets expensive!) and spend money on pointless things. He said he would want to buy me a ring, but he wasn't even saving money for it. When I would bring up feelings of being hurt, they were dismissed as me over analyzing or being too sensitive. I ended the relationship because I want someone to care about me as much as I care about them. When I love, I love with all my heart and I don't hold back. What do you think?

[SooSad33]

Over the months? How long were you with him?

 

Marriage etc, shouldn't be brought up too quickly in a relationship until you've been together a while and know that IS what you two want.

 

if he's not that old (20's) it is common for them to still prefer to get out with buddies, do their own things, etc.

I guess he just wasn't showing you if you meant anything to him?

 

Either way.. if you're not 'happy' in a relationship then best remove yourself from it.

[Ms Darcy]

When I love, I love with all my heart and I don't hold back. What do you think?

 

I think it was all too much too fast. Relationships that burn bright fast often burn out just as quickly.

[toby17]

On one hand, it's natural to be hurt, upset and to not understand. You loved this person, he didn't love you as much. He said they cared but he didn't care enough. He said he wanted to get married but in reality he didn't want to. But his inability to love and care doesn't mean that you're a person who isn't loveable.

 

You could buy someone an amazing house and watch them trash it; it doesn't mean the house isn't great just because they couldn't appreciate it.

 

When I love, I love with all my heart and I don't hold back. What do you think?

 

I think you need to learn that "people only have their kind of love to give, not your kind" and instead of committing yourself completely to someone, you should work out whether they're committed too.

 

Just because you throw caution to the wind doesn't mean everyone does or should. It doesn't even mean you should. You just assume that's the right way to love.

[catfeeder]

I think you need to learn that "people only have their kind of love to give, not your kind" and instead of committing yourself completely to someone, you should work out whether they're committed too.

 

I agree. The whole point of dating is to learn whether you're a good match, so making marriage noises after a few months is premature.

 

When you learn that your goals or interests or values or definition of love doesn't match someone else's, it doesn't mean that either of you are 'wrong' or 'right,' it only means that you're not a compatible match.

 

So yes, freeing yourself up to find a better match is smart.

 

Head high.