depressed boyfriend has got with another girl, says he's over his depression now

[Cloud99]

I feel so hurt, we were so happy and in love together but after about a year he seemed to change and stopped telling me he loved me. We had been through some bad times, mostly an abortion which I know he struggled with. I tried to be there for him and give him space when he needed it but he said he was depressed and was struggling to cope.

 

After nearly a year of this I finally asked him to move out because he needed some space to sort his head out, I would've moved out but he was living in my flat. Now I have found out that less than a month later he is with another girl, and to make matters worse we all work together, apparently they have been secretly seeing each other but a friend told me she had seen them flirting together at work in front of people so she felt she had to tell me.

 

I confronted him and he said, yes we are seeing each Other but nothing happened when we were together. I was depressed but have got through it now! He also said he didn't realise at the time that he was unhappy with me! I can't believe I have put up with this depression for a year and all the worry when all along has he been faking it? Why did he wait for me to break up with him and he obviously had this other girl waiting in the wings. Is this normal behaviour? I can't believe the man I loved used me like that and now he thinks it's not a big deal and asked if we can be friends when I will probably have to leave my job because I can't handle seeing them together.

 

Any thoughts?

[DoF]

Yea, stay completely away from him and find a new job, pronto! DO NOT leave until you have one.

 

Meanwhile, swallow your pride, smile and accept that this guy is bad news and she will be the one to catch the next ordeal.

 

I think it's best that this happened NOW, vs 5-10 years down the road with kids etc.

 

Don't think of this as a great ending, think of it as a great new beginning!

[Movingforward3]

Depressed people often blame their depression on their partners.

Move forward

[mhowe]

Most often an abortion forever changes the dynamic between a young couple ---- the guilt, the OMG scare, etc.

 

He disengaged then, and used the word "depression" to cover his loss of feelings for you. He didn't just miraculously get cured.

 

Change your job if necessary --- he isn't worth your time.

[ParisPaulette]

What mhowe said. He wasn't really "depressed" because depression isn't treated or cured by getting a new partner. Not even close.

 

I'm sorry, but you need to let this guy go and block and delete him completely from your life. He did a pretty sh**ty thing there.