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Hi, I am a forty five year old lady and my partner of 22yrs is fifty, we have had the usual ups and downs like most relationships but for the past year I began to notice that we don't really have intercourse that often sometimes we can go a month without even a kiss, or any kind of effect ion at the time I thought it was just a relationship dip he was always tired I was always tired and it became all to easy to slip into can't be bothered mode, I also thought I was going through the change too and I also put it down to as we age in a long relationship it's bound to get its dull moments, so I wasn't really that worried because I knew he loved me and me him, we went on holiday recently and we couldn't keep our hands of each other, now where back home we have tried but he keeps going limp, he says it's not me and that I'm not to start thinking that, but funnily enough that's exactly what I do think, but my problem is I think he watches porn when I'm not around and he also takes co-codamol everyday, which I think are contributing factors, we talked about it and he said he will come off the cocodomol, last week we found ourselves in a very sexual situation outdoors I thought we needed to spice things up a bit so I sort of seduced him we was going great until we changed position then it happened again, he went limp I thought he was really enjoying it too, I know he feels embarrassed and I don't want to tell him that it's bothering me what I think I'm trying to be supportive by letting him think it doesn't worry me, but the truth of the matter is that I'm beginning to think there is more to this than I dare to imagine like an affair or he's bored with me, am I right to be worried or is it really just a case of medication,and age ? just so u know he still initiates the sex as if he wants me, I'm confused, scared for our relationship and really anxious.Can anyone shed light please, all your comments will be greatfully considered and read carefully thank you .

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I think you should talk to him about going to the doctor and discussing the issue. It could just be age and the meds or it could be is prostate and cancer.

 

If he hasn't been acting differently or being sketchy in anyway then I highly doubt he's not keeping it up because he's having an affair. Since he finds you exciting enough to get an erection then I would logically think that its not anything to do with you why this is happening to him.

 

It could be as simple as needing a script for Cialis or Viagra. Start at the doctor's office and go from there

 

BTW: If he's taking the pain meds for a lower back problem, that too could be the cause of things? A doctor will tell you both more or if about that.

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