Kawaiicocopuff Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Okay, so my boyfriend and I are both 16, and we started dating when we were both 15 we've almost been together for 10 months, and we love each other to death. The catch is, he lives in the Czech Republic, and I live in Canada, meaning we use both Facebook and skype to contact each other. So the issue here is how my parents feel about it. My mom found out a first time, so she told me to break up with him and I faked it. Then she ended up finding out again months later by going on my phone and flipping through my messages behind my back. She also found out about how I hated my life, and how I was depressed and how I hated her so much. She ended up getting access to all of my accounts and looking through more of my messages of me calling her and my stepdad names when we'd fight to friends, so it angered them more. They took all of my electronics away and all I had to talk to my boyfriend was a really outdated LG phone, but it could access Internet, so it was good enough. Anyways, I did this for a month, up until my grandma and grandpa came back from a vacation for 5 weeks, and I ended up getting my electronics and going to their place, and I found that I enjoyed how I could spend time with her and my boyfriend while being at peace and feeling care free. I then refused to go back home and ended up staying there for a approximately 2 weeks until my real dad and his girlfriend ended up picking me up and bringin me back forcefully. When I got out of the car my mom was furious and upset about it all, and my dad and girlfriend were angry too. The only one who understood and reassured they wouldn't do anything to take my boyfriend away was my step dad. I cried and balled and I couldn't contain how trapped I felt. No matter how much I cried and begged, they didn't care how I felt. My boyfriend has been really stressed and sad, and he's called me crying, but reassures, if I'll be gone for 2 years, he'll wait.. and so will I. We'really really close and we are like partners in crime against the world. How do I get them to allow me to keep my boyfriend... and stay in contact with him.. what do I do... I'm desperate and so terribly upset because I'm not even a bad kid. I get grades from 70s-90s, I don't do drugs, have sex, or sneak put. I don't skip class either. I apologized to my mom and step dad for calling them names, and I reassured them that I didn't mean the harsh things I said, since it was just out of anger.. and I also told my mom that it's very hypocritical of her since she tels me I'm going to hell and that she wishes I wasn't her daughter when she's angry with me... I just want help please. . How do I keep my beloved boyfriend and love while keeping my family and making them understand while still being mature Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 He lives thousands of miles away. You're having teenaged angst over a guy you've never met and likely never will. Why not get out there and meet guys in real life who you can hang with and have real fun with outside doing healthy things that allow you to get fresh air and don't ruin your eyesight from being so desperate that you result in using old "electronics" just to get a fix of him. Your addicted to him and the one dimensional interaction you have with him and your addiction to him is causing your parents and step-parent(s) to be rightly so, concerned for you and your emotional well being. None of that is what you wanted to hear but if you start to rehab from the habit of "talking" to him, soon enough you'll realize that he's not all that important to you or your overall happiness. Like any mini-crisis, know that in time, all this too shall pass. Link to comment
Knot2loud Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Most good parents quit "meddling" in their kids relationships when the kids are old enough to care for themselves (ie... Self-Sufficient, mature, become adults). You get the idea. You're not there yet. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 At 16 you are still a minor and your parents are in charge. Of course you hate that! I think we all did, at 16. You are in love with a fantasy from the other side of the world, a person you haven't met, dont really know, and probably won't ever meet. You really need to develop three dimensional friends who you can hang out with, do activities with, go to school with. You can't live your life focused on someone thousands of miles away. My mother would have put my "electronics" in the garbage! Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 ^^^ Haha... yea, mine would have too. As it was we restricted our daughter (at the age of 16) to one hour a day of supervised computer time. We didn't sit beside her but we had the computer situated so that we could monitor everything she was clicking on and everyone she was interacting with. A conversation with a boy over-seas to the point of obsession would have never been allowed to happen. (sorry Kawaii that you're not hearing what you want to hear but when you're older, you'll see the wisdom in what your parents are doing... even if their attempts are late in the game). Link to comment
abitbroken Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Mom and dad are right here. There is no way you can meet this guy. You will miss out on forming friendships and potential relationships with people who CAN see you. People only tell what they want to tell over skype. His life could really be the opposite of what you think. He might not be 16. He could be a young looking 20. He could be "grooming" you and eventually agree to meet, but someone else could show up - or you'd fly there and someone would take you. So listen to mom and dad this time. I get grades from 70s-90s, I don't know if the grading system is different in Canada, but my parents would not accept a 70. 90 here is a "B" which is okay, but room for improvement. But 70 would be failing to them. If you get 92-100's, then you can talk about getting really good grades. or sneak put. You are sneaking around. And if you are calling your parents names and balling - you are not mature enough for a long term, steady relationship. The relationship is bringing out your bad side. Especially if you are not communicating in person, by phone, by text with friends who are close by and are only talking to this guy. I am glad that dad, mom and dad's girlfriend are on the same page about this. Stepdad shouldn't have made you any promises - but maybe you misinterpreted him or he just was trying to comfort you. Link to comment
DoF Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 You don't know your "boyfriend" very well, AT ALL. Until you are face to face, feel each others atmosphere, spend LOTS of time together....you simply don't know him. I'm sorry. Long Distance relationships don't work. Relationships need constant and daily companionship. Your parents are right, listen to them, they know what's best for you and have your best interest in mind (usually) Link to comment
j.man Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 You can't. Parents are total boners and will never understand. Link to comment
Dracia Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Your parents are right to be concerned. They'd be incredibly poor parents if they weren't. You sound like an incredibly spoilt brat, to be honest. I was in the same situation as you when I was your age, and both mine and his parents were so concerned they'd take steps to block our access to each other, and in hindsight I totally understand why. Teenagers can do incredibly stupid things and end up getting into trouble. My boyfriend and I decided to wait until we both had the freedom to talk to who we wanted, and if we ended up with other people, then so be it. Think of this as a test of the love you're both feeling. If you can both wait a couple of years for each other, then there will be no problem. It's been 10 years since I fell in love with my online boyfriend and now we're married to each other and I live in his country. It can work, but you need to be sensible about it and wait until you're no longer minors. Edit: Bear in mind if you do stick together, then you need to consider visas, immigration etc. It's not a walk in the park. Link to comment
LovelyDani87 Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 You are a child, far from a grown woman. Your parents have every right to "meddle." Try not to rush into adult troubles so fast because that's exactly where you're headed. Link to comment
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