Am I wrong to be jealous

[Jaki987]

Hi, recently my boyfriend started talking to his ex again. They broke up a while ago, but he still talks about her sometimes. She ended up cutting him off and ignoring him for 3 months before telling him that they weren't together anymore. She recently came for a visit and wanted to meet him but she had recently broke up with her boyfriend which made me a bit uncomfortable. He seemed like he really wanted to meet her but claimed it was just as friends but he constantly makes the mistake of calling his ex his girlfriend befre he realises and says his ex. When he told her he couldn't meet her she begged him to meet up. Finally he decided to invite her with us for one of our "dates". The location was kinda far so he said he felt bad and also she wasn't sure she could make it so he wanted to go to her instead of going to the place we planned before. I didn't want to go so I told him to go meet her and to let me go home but he refused. He said that if I wasn't going he wouldn't go because I was more important than her but he also said that he though he would regret it if he didn't. He told me that if I meet her I would like her and that he thought we'd be great friends and that talking to new people would help my social anxiety. So he made me come along, promising it would only be a quick greeting then we'd leave. In the end we ended up going to meet his ex and hung out with her for around 2 1/2 hours. We almost ended up missing our last train home because he wanted to spend more time with her and pushed the time till the last minute. Later that night after his ex left we got in a fight and he accused me of being selfish and self-centred. He told me that I always follow my emotions and don't care about anyone else's because I didn't want to meet his ex. He also said that when we visited his hometown he regretted not seeing his friends because I didn't feel like going out, but he never told me he wanted to meet his friends or even that he had contacted them.

Does it seem like he still likes her?

[SpottiOtti]

There's definitely something off about the situation. First of all, it's perfectly reasonable that you A. Wouldn't be interested in meeting or becoming friends with your boyfriend's ex (that's just weird), and B. Wouldn't be comfortable with him hanging out with his ex, and C. Wouldn't be okay with him accidentally calling her his girlfriend and not his ex.

 

What bothers me about it is that he's trying to turn the tables on you and calling you selfish and self-centered, when it sounds like you went out of your way to be accommodating in a situation that you were [understandably] uncomfortable in. It sounds like he isn't too concerned about the way that situation made you feel at all.

[TMifune]

She ignored him for three months before telling him that they were no longer together?

[Andrina]

There's no reason to be friends with an ex. You don't lose the chemistry with an ex, so when you and your bf get into an argument, since they're remained "friends," he'll go running to her for some fun ex sex. I wouldn't stay with a guy who wanted to spend time or communicate with an ex. I found a man who doesn't do this, and it's so wonderful not to have to deal with that nonsense. Time to take the garbage to the sidewalk. If you don't, you're settling. Don't you deserve better? If you don't think so, work on your self esteem by reading articles on ways to do this. Take care.

[Hollyj]

He was very unfair to you. he knows that this isn't right, and is throwing it back on you.

 

I do think that exes can be friends, but this situation is strange: her cutting him off for three months.

 

Does he talk of her often?

[bulletproof]

There's no reason to be friends with an ex. You don't lose the chemistry with an ex, so when you and your bf get into an argument, since they're remained "friends," he'll go running to her for some fun ex sex.

 

Please don't state this as a fact, because there are plenty of people that have perfectly innocent relationships with exes.

To the OP: you don't have to hang out with his ex. Nor do you have to be comfortable with his weirdness surrounding the entire situation. However, if what he's saying is true about your social anxiety, that might be something you need to work on.

 

Sounds like you both have some issues.