To stay or go back to my home country

[rasty415]

I have been here in the US for over 10 years and everything is pretty much settled down. I came here as an international student roughly 10 years ago. I graduated here and have been working here since. I can say that everything is stable and I have gotten used of pretty much everything here. Also, I met my girlfriend when I was in college and yes, everything is pretty much settled down.

Now here is the problem. My parents, especially my dad, we have been talking about me going back home (in this case, Hong Kong) for quite some time. He thinks that this is the best for me if I can go back and take over his business. I do not disagree. I really don't wanna disappoint my family but on the other hand, I have my own life here. This is a dilemma. My girlfriend is not able to to move back there with me any time soon since her family is here and she has her own business here.

I guess this is life and we all have to make decisions. I may be selfish what is the best for my life. As a matter of fact, I had homesick when I first came here. However, everything has changed. At this very moment, I really don't know what I should do. And now, my dad is thinking that my girlfriend is the one who holding up everything and this may just worsen the relationship between me, my girlfriend and my family. I think this is more about me, not my girlfriend. I'm lost and don't know how to deal with this.

I didn't ask for coming here at the first place and now everything has changed. What should I do?

[melancholy123]

If I was you I'd stay here, your life is here, your job, your girlfriend. I dont agree with parents pressuring grown kids to do what they (parents) want them to do. As an adult it should be your decision as to where you live and what you do. Perhaps you could visit them more often each year as finances and time permit.

[Willywagtail]

I think you should make a list.

 

Divide a piece of paper into 2 columns. One side pros for staying in the U.S., the other side pros for going back to Hong Kong. Write all the things that come to mind for both. Mark the things that are MOST important to you.

 

Then do the same with the cons for staying in the U.S., and the cons for going back to Hong King. Mark the things that would have the most negative impact for you.

 

Compare the 2 lists, in particular the things you've marked on both lists. What stands out? What would have the best effect on you life? What would have the worst? How might you adapt, if you needed to, to the worst effects?

 

Sometimes lists like this, and thinking about what you've written are a good way to sort through your options and what you're dealing with. Good luck. I hope it helps!

[KathyH02]

Personally, I would stay in the United States. If you think about it, your whole life is here now. You went to school here, you have friends, a girlfriend, and a job. Here's a question: if you left all of this, would you be just as happy or happier back in Hong Kong? If you move back home, there's a possibility that you'll regret leaving everything behind. It may seem selfish, but I think it's the right decision from my perspective.

[treesandbees]

Do what is best for you and your dad and family should be pleased you have made a happy life for yourself and not try to force a decision not right for you but best perhaps for them. I'd stay if it was me.

[chitown9]

What does your heart tell you to do? I would follow your heart. chi

[abitbroken]

Tell dad that you have a career and a life in America that you have carefully built.

 

I think that you will regret going to Hong Kong and leaving everything you worked so hard for. The door will probably be open to go to Hong Kong 5 or 10 years from now if you change your mind.

 

Can you see yourself marrying your girlfriend someday? If the answer is yes, I would see how things play out.