CasualDude10 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Short story, we met on the fourth of July. We've hung out 10+ times since, once just me and her. Farthest we've gone is making out. Last night we talked and she said this (highlights in the bullet points in the order of how she told me things below): - She likes me - She broke up with her boyfriend in January and officially stopped all communications with him 3 weeks ago - Established that she doesn't want a relationship right now - She likes me - First guy shes ever been on a date with (besides ex) - Said she is going to talk/do what she wants because shes single (expected) - I can talk to anyone that I want - But again she likes me So I'm stuck.. I am actually trying to start a relationship with her, but she doesn't want one. But she kept telling me how much she liked me and how awesome I am. Would you continue talking to this girl in hopes for a relationship or should I just treat it like a friend zone situation and move on? Thanks! Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Same advice as yesterday. You are dating and she clearly does not want to be exclusive, since you haven't even been dating a month. Either continue getting to know her and stop pressuring her, or cut bait and look fromsomeone who thinks a month is enough time to make that type of decision. Link to comment
CasualDude10 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Same advice as yesterday. You are dating and she clearly does not want to be exclusive, since you haven't even been dating a month. Either continue getting to know her and stop pressuring her, or cut bait and look fromsomeone who thinks a month is enough time to make that type of decision. Thanks for your input. What I failed to address is that she brought it up. I did not do the "quiz" or anything. I am not pressuring her, and I am not wanting to make it exclusive right now either. I want to in the future after some time maybe... The thing that threw me off was her saying she is not wanting a relationship. I was asking for advice as should I take that as a red flag and if people think itll ultimately just end with nothing. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 "She's not looking for a relationship right now", means she's not looking for a relationship right now. Either way, I'm not sure what you mean by being "stuck?" You have a voice and you have the ability to make your own choices. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 My god you've known her three weeks which isn't any time at all! Back off a bit and work on developing a friendship first. You can't have a relationship without a friendship to start with! Link to comment
ghostgirl116 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 since she said she doesn't want a relationship right now, and you say you do, I would back away from things for a bit and let them cool down. that isn't a bad thing, you know, and it doesn't mean you won't be able to see her in the future. but, she flat out said that she doesn't want a relationship. and she JUST stopped talking to her ex, whom she broke off with a while ago. so she still needs to heal. maybe suggest that you really do like her, too, but you want a relationship, so maybe you guys could, at this point, be friends. (as in emailing and texting every so often... this will take serious effort on your part). but, if you guys really connect, it could just be that she just needs some time. best luck! Link to comment
crowleysgirl Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 She told you exactly what she wants, and that is to not be in a relationship. Believe it or not, she can like you without wanting to be in a relationship. But you do want a relationship, so odds are you're going to get hurt if you keep trying to hang out with her and win her over. You've only known her for about 3 weeks and have already written at least 3 threads about this. Link to comment
Helpexpressme Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 She wants to date, and she also let you know you can date whoever you want. She's not looking for a b/friend. Your not friend-zoned, your a date. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 S - Established that she doesn't want a relationship right now Thanks! What would I do? Completely disappear. When she's ready she can contact me. Link to comment
CasualDude10 Posted July 27, 2015 Author Share Posted July 27, 2015 What would I do? Completely disappear. When she's ready she can contact me. My buddy that I have been double with and his gf just texted me about going up north with them this weekend. it be the four of us. she wants to go, but i feel as i shouldn't. if i go no contact with her, to make her chase, then i shouldnt go Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 You have told her about it and are now not going to go? That doesn't make an iota of sense. Link to comment
CasualDude10 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 You have told her about it and are now not going to go? That doesn't make an iota of sense. No, my buddy and his gf set it up and invited her. Then the three of them invited me. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Have you heard the saying "don't cut your nose off to spite your face?" The only way to move up on her priority list is to show her that being with you is more fun than being alone or with someone else. Link to comment
CasualDude10 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 Have you heard the saying "don't cut your nose off to spite your face?" The only way to move up on her priority list is to show her that being with you is more fun than being alone or with someone else. So do you think i am over reacting to the situation? Link to comment
TMifune Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 Try this: "I really like you, give me a call when you feel like you're ready for a relationship and we'll see how thing go." And then get about your life. Rushing her into something is more likely than not to end in heartbreak for someone. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 So do you think i am over reacting to the situation? Yes. You have been on 7-8 dates. You have an opportunity to solidify your connection and you want to effectively say "I won't go on this weekend away to build on our connection because I want you to say that you only have eyes for me" Link to comment
CasualDude10 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 Yes. You have been on 7-8 dates. You have an opportunity to solidify your connection and you want to effectively say "I won't go on this weekend away to build on our connection because I want you to say that you only have eyes for me" Thanks for your input. Ive always been overreactant to situations and let get to me too soon. Thanks again Link to comment
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