blkjohnnyquest Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 What if you found out in your girlfriend's past that she would go on craigslist to have sex with guys and women? Well this is what happened to me, we've been dating for a year now we have a child. I'm disappointed and disgusted. Link to comment
TMifune Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Like casual encounters craiglist? Or the personal ad? Relationsihps or One Night Stands? Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 You've been "dating" for one year and you have a child? This is why you don't jump into things with strangers and you always wear a rubber so that unwanted children aren't conceived. I think that had you waited to learn more about her, you wouldn't have continued to date her. As for your "what if" question: I have to ask you a question before I answer: How long ago did she advertise for stranger sex and how soon after you met her did she announce her pregnancy? The answer to those questions would tell me exactly what I would do. Really doesn't matter what we would do. What will YOU do now that you've discovered her past(?) proclivities? Link to comment
brneydbrunette Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I can understand your disgust and pain, but maybe she led a completely different life before you. I had an ex who would (at least to my knowledge) get online and look at sexual encounters. I don't agree with it, especially if you're in a relationship. Has she done this while you two have been together? Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 My first thought would be a DNA test actually. My second thought would be a full screen of STD tests. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 There are consequences to bear when you refuse to look before you leap. I hope this innocent child gets a fair chance in life. Link to comment
blkjohnnyquest Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 Like casual encounters craiglist? Or the personal ad? Relationsihps or One Night Stands? casual encounters Link to comment
blkjohnnyquest Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 You've been "dating" for one year and you have a child? This is why you don't jump into things with strangers and you always wear a rubber so that unwanted children aren't conceived. I think that had you waited to learn more about her, you wouldn't have continued to date her. As for your "what if" question: I have to ask you a question before I answer: How long ago did she advertise for stranger sex and how soon after you met her did she announce her pregnancy? The answer to those questions would tell me exactly what I would do. Really doesn't matter what we would do. What will YOU do now that you've discovered her past(?) proclivities? She says she hasn't done it in 2 years. And I know for sure that the child is mine. She states it was a mistake. What also upsets me is that the first time I asked her, she lied and told me that she had never had sex with anyone from craigslist. I took her word for it then but something inside of me felt she was lying. She ended up coming clean somewhat when I told her that I would leave her if I found out that she was lying. She says it was only one time and it was with a guy she met before in a gym. Now what are the odds of finding someone you saw at the gym on craigslist? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 What if you found out in your girlfriend's past that she would go on craigslist to have sex with guys and women? Well this is what happened to me, we've been dating for a year now we have a child. I'm disappointed and disgusted. If you have a baby after only a year of dating, it sounds like neither of you are particularly virginal. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 She says she hasn't done it in 2 years. And I know for sure that the child is mine. She states it was a mistake. What also upsets me is that the first time I asked her, she lied and told me that she had never had sex with anyone from craigslist. I took her word for it then but something inside of me felt she was lying. She ended up coming clean somewhat when I told her that I would leave her if I found out that she was lying. She says it was only one time and it was with a guy she met before in a gym. Now what are the odds of finding someone you saw at the gym on craigslist? I remember your story under a different user name. Link to comment
TMifune Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 She says she hasn't done it in 2 years. And I know for sure that the child is mine. She states it was a mistake. What also upsets me is that the first time I asked her, she lied and told me that she had never had sex with anyone from craigslist. I took her word for it then but something inside of me felt she was lying. She ended up coming clean somewhat when I told her that I would leave her if I found out that she was lying. She says it was only one time and it was with a guy she met before in a gym. Now what are the odds of finding someone you saw at the gym on craigslist? I'm curious what it is that would make someone ask the question "How many guys have you met on craigslist for sex?" What happens to make that quesiton jump into your head? Link to comment
blkjohnnyquest Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 I'm curious what it is that would make someone ask the question "How many guys have you met on craigslist for sex?" What happens to make that quesiton jump into your head? I saw ads from her email, her trying to have sex with women while their husbands watched. Link to comment
blkjohnnyquest Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 I can understand your disgust and pain, but maybe she led a completely different life before you. I had an ex who would (at least to my knowledge) get online and look at sexual encounters. I don't agree with it, especially if you're in a relationship. Has she done this while you two have been together? I don't think so, but I think she still goes online to look for the excitement Link to comment
blkjohnnyquest Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 My first thought would be a DNA test actually. My second thought would be a full screen of STD tests. The baby is 3 months old now. And I know for sure he's mine Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 The baby is 3 months old now. And I know for sure he's mine Because she has always been so truthful? Link to comment
blkjohnnyquest Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 Because she has always been so truthful? The baby looks exactly like me, there's no denying it. I have strong genes. Link to comment
TMifune Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I saw ads from her email, her trying to have sex with women while their husbands watched. I think that'd be a dealbreaker for me. Link to comment
blkjohnnyquest Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 I think that'd be a dealbreaker for me. If I had known sooner I would've ended the relationship. But now there's a kid involved. I'm trying to get over it but it's tough, I know it was her past, but good grief. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I don't think this is something you just get over. Link to comment
blkjohnnyquest Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 I'm trying my best. I'm trying to tell myself it was her past, which it was. And I can only hope and pray that she has left that in her past. Link to comment
Blue92 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 You can't really hold anyone against their past. People need to make mistakes in order to grow and shape themselves into someone wiser. We all have our gross secrets/accidents that we aren't proud of and your girlfriend may have been in a different mindset or situation at the time that led her to do this. So, I think it is quite unfair to get worked up over a part of someone's history when they could have developed leaps and bounds away from it. As long as the past stays in the past, you can't judge a fault as much as you can judge present action. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 What if you found out in your girlfriend's past that she would go on craigslist to have sex with guys and women? Well this is what happened to me, we've been dating for a year now we have a child. I'm disappointed and disgusted. I think you should talk to her and see if she is ready to settle down, or if she (and you) are interested in exploring swingers clubs or things of that sort together. Do you mean to tell me that you would never have one-night stands? Never once?? Link to comment
blkjohnnyquest Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 not into swingers clubs. And I've had a one night before, but I wasn't on craigslist, nor have I engaged in homosexual activity Link to comment
TMifune Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 You can't really hold anyone against their past. People need to make mistakes in order to grow and shape themselves into someone wiser. We all have our gross secrets/accidents that we aren't proud of and your girlfriend may have been in a different mindset or situation at the time that led her to do this. So, I think it is quite unfair to get worked up over a part of someone's history when they could have developed leaps and bounds away from it. As long as the past stays in the past, you can't judge a fault as much as you can judge present action. While I agree with you to a point, the past is something each of us carry along for the ride. Now I'm not saying we should be shaming anyone for their past, but if I noticed a pattern of behavior that falls outside of my personal morals in someone's past whenever they get stressed, I certainly wouldn't let a statement like "you can't hold someone's past against them" make me feel pressured into letting them further into my life than I'm comfortable with. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 As I assume a chastity belt is out of the question, the only thing left is to trust her. However, given that past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, I don't see Ms. Let Me Do Your Husband settling down to the Happy Family lifestyle. You have a child to co-parent. I would focus on that and not whether you can sustain a relationship with his mother. Link to comment
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