TheAbandoned Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 Sorry about my previous post. It's all how I'm feeling but it's nothing new. Venting. Link to comment
sky09 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Having a rough go at it today. I just can't fathom the insanity she's diving headfirst into. I don't mean not being with me; I get that. I mean convincing herself that the new guy is the guy she is going to marry and have babies with (which we were going to do) while he has no job, no prospects and is an all-around loser. I know love doesn't make sense, but come on. This is just ridiculous. I think trying to understand just what the hell she is doing to her life is keeping me from moving on and it's driving me nuts. I shouldn't care and I don't want to. Let her go. Let her live a life she "wants". Let her fail or succeed. How small is your town? It seems like it only has yours and his parents house lol Got any hobbies? You seem to write well, so maybe start a book? Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Let her go. Let her live a life she "wants". Let her fail or succeed. How small is your town? It seems like it only has yours and his parents house lol Got any hobbies? You seem to write well, so maybe start a book? I'm to the point now where letting her go is no problem. I want nothing to do with her at all. My town is VERY small...everybody knows everybody, and everybody knows everybody's business. I've been going out of my way recently to avoid even the possibility of running into her; it helps. It was clarified to me yesterday (by a big-mouth coworker) that she is in fact pregnant. I'm not sure how someone can live with someone else for 3 months and decide pregnancy is a good idea, but I guess that just shows what kind of person she's turned into. He's more than welcome to her. They deserve each other, and I deserve to be happy (and I will). Writing a book...hmmm... ;-) Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 One thing I'm needing help with...she's still making her payments on the car, but I want the damn thing out of my name. I DO NOT want to talk to her (I probably wouldn't get a straight answer anyway)...I'm planning on talking to her dad on Friday about making progress with the car. The problem I'm having is what if he doesn't know about the pregnancy? He probably does, but I don't want to be the person that he finds out about it from if he doesn't...it should be from her. She doesn't have much contact with her parents so I'm not sure what they know. The pregnancy is the main reason I want my name off of the car (I know how expensive babies can be), as well as I can't move on when I'm continually getting documents sent to me in the mail about the car. I don't want to be the guy to break the news, but I don't want to have any interaction with her whatsoever. What would you do in this situation? I just want OUT, but I want to do the right thing. Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 It is none of your business to discuss her pregnancy with her father. The main reason you want your name off the car is that you have broken up. I would deal with her, and not her father. Just get it done and put behind you. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 It is none of your business to discuss her pregnancy with her father. The main reason you want your name off the car is that you have broken up. I would deal with her, and not her father. Just get it done and put behind you. I don't know if I'm in the right state of mind yet to rationally discuss it with her, though. Lately I've been in a better place (at least til yesterday) but I know I'm nowhere near being over the relationship yet. I just feel any contact with her (especially now) is really going to set me back. I agree the pregnancy is none of my business. However, if it affects me financially it becomes my business. Like I said, I just want this over and done with. I'm not sure talking to her would accomplish that. Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 You don't need to talk to her. You need her to sign off on the paperwork. Period. And the longer you draw this out, the longer you are involved. Or simply go get the car and sell it. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 You don't need to talk to her. You need her to sign off on the paperwork. Period. And the longer you draw this out, the longer you are involved. Or simply go get the car and sell it. What paperwork? If there is going to be any refinancing done it has to be on her end. The only thing I would have to do is sign off on the refinance. I could sell the car (it's a possibility) but it would be a stretch. I'm confused...I'm not attempting to draw this out in any way, shape or form...I'm just trying to figure out the best way to go about this for all parties involved. Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 If the car/loan is in your name, simply go get it and sell it. You cannot force a refinancing in her name. So, she either gets the paperwork together by the end of the month and sends it to you, or you are selling the car. Or keeping it. She loses it, either way. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Both of our names are on the loan; it's a co-sign. I'm just listed as the Primary. I want to give her the opportunity to keep the car if she wants it, I just don't want to be a part of it anymore. She had mentioned the possibility of co-signing with her parents to get my name off of there, which is why I was going to speak to her dad. Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Both of our names are on the loan; it's a co-sign. I'm just listed as the Primary. I want to give her the opportunity to keep the car if she wants it, I just don't want to be a part of it anymore. She had mentioned the possibility of co-signing with her parents to get my name off of there, which is why I was going to speak to her dad. No, you speak to her. She is a grown woman. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 No, you speak to her. She is a grown woman. Age-wise, maybe. ;-) Fact of the matter is, I don't trust her anymore so it makes it hard to trust that she would do the right thing. I'll see what can be done. Thanks. Link to comment
sky09 Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 Yeah, no way around it. I doubt her parents would be able to influence much of anything. Stay neutral, be about that business, and do not engage her in any confrontation. You need your name off that car. This is your first priority, everything else is secondary (even your feelings). Link to comment
Janie Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 Hey, I really enjoyed reading your journey through the break up. I can really relate to all the mood swings on the emotional rollercoaster. I keep thinking I'm over my ex boy, but then i'll just randomly get upset or angry at him. I really want to give him a piece of my mind today and tell him what an idiot I think he is.. I was so nice to him when he split though.. Argh! Keep your head up and stay strong, we will all there eventually! Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted August 13, 2015 Author Share Posted August 13, 2015 Hey, I really enjoyed reading your journey through the break up. I can really relate to all the mood swings on the emotional rollercoaster. I keep thinking I'm over my ex boy, but then i'll just randomly get upset or angry at him. I really want to give him a piece of my mind today and tell him what an idiot I think he is.. I was so nice to him when he split though.. Argh! Keep your head up and stay strong, we will all there eventually! Not sure if the purpose of this thread was enjoyment, but I get what you're saying. ;-) We will get there; I just hate the journey. I intend to come out of the other end a better person though, so I guess that's the silver lining. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted August 14, 2015 Author Share Posted August 14, 2015 And the hit just keep a'coming. I was let go from my job today. The year 2015 can royally kiss my a*s*s. Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 Ouch. My mother was dying, my bf broke up with me and my brother need heart surgery (Nov 2012-jan 2013). Sometimes life just SUCKS. Link to comment
sky09 Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 And the hit just keep a'coming. I was let go from my job today. The year 2015 can royally kiss my a*s*s. While it may sound bad, take everything as is. This just might be your chance to do something you were truly "destined" for. Like a move to Oklahoma City (wink, wink) Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted August 15, 2015 Author Share Posted August 15, 2015 Trust me, I definitely would move to OKC if I could. However, I bought a house about 2 years ago so I'm stuck here. I could sell but it's the least of my worries right now. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Age-wise, maybe. ;-) Fact of the matter is, I don't trust her anymore so it makes it hard to trust that she would do the right thing. I'll see what can be done. Thanks. I agree with Mhowe not to speak with her father. No offense man, but perhaps the biggest lesson here is a man in his 40s should be with a woman closer to his age. You two are in different stages in life. Link to comment
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