HELP: Just received an email from my EX

[DarrenG1983]

I'm one week NC been to the gym and finally feeling much better then I receive an email from her.

 

She cheated on me and I dont want her back but of me does.

 

HELP.

 

What should I do?

 

Should I reply in the morning and not right away?

[milly007]

I would maintain NC. She cheated on you, so I would move on.

[DarrenG1983]

Its killing me Ive been a crying mess all week.

 

she's always in my dreams, shes the first and last person i think of when im going to sleep or waking up.

[milly007]

Your reaction following the break-up is pretty normal, OP. Further to that, she cheated on you, which would only make you feel worse, I'm sure.

 

I know it's hard now, but it will get easier; provided you don't contact her. By maintaining contact, you're only prolonging the agony.

 

I also hope you aren't willing to give this person another chance. There are plenty of wonderful women out there who won't cheat.

 

Hang in there, and maintain NC. You will feel better in time.

 

Block her, OP.

[abitbroken]

Don't answer back. Actually, delete it. Unless it has something to do with exchanging property "Where should i send the box of your stuff, etc," or dissolving accounts together. That is the only email i would do anything with.

[mhowe]

Perhaps you should reread your thread on break up tips.

[SirCheese]

What did the email say? She wants you back?

 

Honestly even if she does - She cheated & that's not something I could ever forgive personally.

[boltnrun]

An email is such a chicken stuff method of communication. She sent an email so she wouldn't have to deal with it if you rejected her.

 

What would you recommend someone else do in this situation?

[DarrenG1983]

Thanks guys.

 

So true mhowe!

 

She said she is devastated for messing things up and she sounds like she's in a real state,

 

The other half of the email was about a debt we have together which we discussed before we went NC.

 

I've just borrowed the money from a friend and am going to pay it in full tomorrow.

 

These forums and the members have been excellent, I dont want to tell my family as they have enough to deal with at the moment.

[mhowe]

She cheated on you...and is devastated. Hmmm...sounds like the guy she cheated with isn't living up to expectation. She is now learning that actions have consequences.

[DarrenG1983]

she text me also.

 

I was going to change my phone number, maybe I should have.

 

I moved 300 miles away from her and left my job and friends, thats how badly I didnt want to hear from her.

 

Ive been reliving the cheating experience over in my head a thousand times I didnt expect her ever to get back in touch. I thought because she was cheating she was unhappy and didnt want to be with me and that was her way of dealing with it.

 

Argh.

 

Thats bolntrun, I'd recommend them not to message back.

 

Its just so good to have the support from you all.

[boltnrun]

Translation: The guy I cheated on you with didn't work out. I'm feeling sorry for myself. Would Trusty Old You be willing to let me use you until I find the next guy I want to cheat on you with?

 

Changing that number is a great idea. I did so when I moved 400 miles away from the ex who treated me like crud but who my stupid butt couldn't get over. It really helped. It only took me about 15 minutes to text all the people I wanted to have my new number.

[mhowe]

Her cheating had nothing to do with you. Her unhappiness is deep within her...not caused, nor cured by the man she is sleeping with.

[SirCheese]

She said she is devastated for messing things up and she sounds like she's in a real state,

oh dear, what a shame. How about how you've felt for the past X amount of time? Think of yourself, you didn't break the relationship. She did, who cares how she sounds? If things had worked out with her new guy you wouldn't be hearing a thing.

[DarrenG1983]

Thanks all, I appreciate every comment.

 

The message was a couple hours ago now, and I feel so much better for not replying.

 

If I did reply, I can imagine being in a completely different mood now... hoping she text's me back etc.

[toolovehim]

If she cheated on you, find another woman.

[abitbroken]

Don't acknowledge any part of the email except for the debt part. If you need to buy her out or owe her money, take care of it. Once you have paid it, just send her a note that it is done. Or if you owe money to her - just ask for an address to send it to and send the check certified or paypal it to her - whatever. And then that is it. You should NOT hvae to change your phone number and potentially lose connections with friends, old work colleagues that would be good contacts over her. Just BLOCK her number. That is all you have to do.

[DarrenG1983]

I've paid the debt off entirely.

 

I was going to let her find that out herself and not contact her.

 

Should I email her to say it's paid?

 

Struggling here guys really want to msg her but cant stop thinking about what she did to me.

[mhowe]

Nope....no contact necessary. Every time you think of doing it...picture her in bed with him and laughing.

[LLCBOS]

NO contact. No need to tell her you paid anything. You moved 300 miles away, change your number.

[boltnrun]

Why are you looking for excuses to contact her?

 

What would you advise to someone else in this situation?

[HeartGoesOn]

What would you advise to someone else in this situation?

 

This. (below)

 

 

[boltnrun]

This. (below)

 

]

 

I think the OP has discovered it's easier to dispense advice to others than it is to actually put it into practice.

 

Not unusual...many people struggle with this very thing.

[Ms Darcy]

Sweetie, don't respond. You don't need to. Actually, you should block her.

[DarrenG1983]

Thanks everyone, as you know it's so bloody hard even when you convince yourself no.

 

Feeling a lot better today.