Confused if girl is flirting or over-friendly, need advice

[musicman777]

Yes, I don't know, but I think I will definitely have to confront her again because I don't think she is going to text, at least while dating this other guy. She has no idea what I meant by a date, maybe she thinks I am going to get super serious super fast, I just want to get to know her better and I would like to tell her that. She had a good couple days to think about this now.

[musicman777]

Hi everyone who is following my thread here. I went back to the coffee shop as usual tonight and the girl was working today and we got to talk again. I have some good news and bad news to report...

 

The bad news - she said she thought about it a lot and does not want to date me while she is seeing this other guy. She said she is not that kind of girl. I guess that's understandable and everything, at least she doesn't jump from one guy to the next. I kind of wish she would have but I understand, there would probably be a lot of bitterness if the other guy knew and I too don't know if I would like the idea of her being with another guy while I'm dating with her, then waiting to see who she picks.

 

The good news - I pretty much got a 100% confirmation I am next in line if it doesn't work out. She is genuinely very interested in me and definitely wants to go on a date if it doesn't work out with her current boyfriend. She said she would definitely tell me and said even said something like "it wouldn't take much for their relationship to end" or something along those lines...

 

Well, that is that. I can't say I'm super happy about it. I am happy to know she is into me and there is a chance something could happen, but I don't like playing the waiting game on her current relationship. She is only 20 (I'm 25 now), so odds are things may not last with her current relationship but I don't know how long that will take. I don't want to get my hopes up or think about her forever and then find out she isn't worth it in the end.

 

I have been single for many years now and I'm not really in a rush to get married or something, and I don't really go out looking for women because I would like to have some faith in the "system". I plan on going to this coffee shop as usual and whenever she is working I will continue to talk to her as normal and we will see what happens.

[Sarah691607309662]

It really depends on her now. She can end this r/s in one hour. If she does not love him and stays in it only out of pity or habit and waits for him to finish it - it will never be finished. At the same time when I was 20, I did not have guts to break up....I also was in a very unhappy r/s and many guys liked me but I stayed in unhappy r/s because I did not have guts to tell him that it is over. Well, it was more than that. I got the impression that if I tell him it is over, he will suffer forever because I believed he was obsessed with me. I could not tolerate the idea making another human being miserable and preferred to be miserable myself. I was full of quotes like "you are responsible for those whom you had tamed". I really hope for you that this girl is different from me!!!!

 

At the same time, it is good news that she is honest and upfront. I do think you guys a great potential to be in a good r/s. I think in a way you are in r/s. Your story has been started. Many time life does not give us exactly what we wanted, what we pictured we should be having....and the wisdom is to believe that what we've got is exactly what will work for us. Sometimes it is a good practice to wait....but meanwhile you will be going to her cafe and having your conversations with her and really it is very important.

 

I remember being in a dying r/s once and I heard how my partner would talk to other people who were basically strangers... but I could hear those precious happy and playful notes in the voice and I remember I could not help wishing it would be me that stranger.... because with me my partner was talking in a different voice - all serious and unhappy.

[musicman777]

Hi Sarah,

Thanks for answering. That is what I fear the most that she is not strong enough to leave this guy even if he isn't worth it, then she'll never get the chance to date me. To me, it sounds like their relationship really isn't going anywhere. Of course she hasn't told me every detail but she complained about him once, kind of made it sound like she didn't need to be with this guy once or wanted something more serious. But then she decided to stay with him for some reason... like you said she may be waiting for him to break up which may never happen.

 

I've been pretty depressed tonight and this morning now. In fact coming on here was my first activity of the day before eating or checking my work email. I'm really bothered by it. All I wanted was a shot at her but this could drag on forever. I think she is making a serious mistake in her life because if it worked out with me, she would be going places. It's going to be really hard for me to keep talking to her at this coffee shop, I'm going to have to put on a fake smile and pretend to be nice because I'm pretty upset with the situation. She kind of hurt my feelings despite her optimism if it didn't work out with this guy. I don't like thinking of another guy with her and what they could be doing physically...

 

You know what's hard about this the most? Most people would say "get over her" or something, but she has given me hope that she may contact me one day when she breaks up with this other guy. I don't want to get over her and lose interest and then she comes around. Or, I would hate if someone else special came along for me over time (hey they come out of the blue just like she did) and I date them and then she came back into the mix. Let's face it, she turned me away for now and I can't wait for her if someone else comes along. It's a real roller coaster. Really I don't want any of this to happen because I like her and I think there's something special about her. But I can't wait forever for her to break up with this guy.

[JustWishing]

Oh dear,

Typical case of it can't be fast enough. Hold your horses there for a second and think about it..... How would you know if she is making a serious mistake? How do you know that if she left her BF that you would be the one she was 100% happy with. You don't even know her. You have no idea whether you are or are not a perfect match. You haven't even had pizza yet. How in the world would you handle if you had sex with her??? I know all these thoughts cross your mind, but you do have to ground yourself too. Just for the simple fact you need to keep sanity. Now look at the facts. She is being honest and she doesn't screw around on her BF. That speaks for her more than 1000 words. Now be a little more patient and do something for yourself. Get a haircut. Try out a new restaurant. Treat your mom for mother's day. In not so many words, be patient. Rome wasn't built in one day either.

[musicman777]

Hi JustWishing,

Thank you for your insightful feedback once again. Taking some time for myself, I've been doing that for years now, especially now. I did yard work all day because I escape from the crappy reality of my life right now. I always stay busy, I have hobbies and actives, I always take my mother places even if it's not mothers day.

 

Regarding everything else you said... well, I take this type of stuff too personally. Sometimes I feel I need to see a therapist because I get very upset and angry, and I think a lot of it relates to very negative experiences with women in the past. I'm not sure how to handle it when it happens. I feel very cheated in life, like other guys get the shot and always beat me to the punch and I feel like I'm a big joke when this happens. I don't feel insecure, dependent, or needy for a woman to be happy in life but I feel like I am missing something important in life, and every time it gets took away from me I get very upset.

 

I shouldn't feel that way because this very cute and nice girl is into dating me and I have a fair shot if it doesn't work out with her current guy, but I have very little faith or patience in the system at this point...

[Sarah691607309662]

Exactly!!!! I am talking about a Rome.

 

She thinks about you. That is for sure! She definitely likes you. But there is something that is holding her to her bf. I wonder what is that... You can ask her. When my husband was courting me, I had a bf. I was in love with him actually. However my future husband did not turn himself away from me and was a friend. He was delivering to me solid and safe and accepting and entertaining front that I treasured. He asked me about my bf and he did not flinch when I told him the sex was good. He was confident and accepting. In a long run it was him who won me over. he was consistently there for me. And he did not put any pressure on me.

 

Please cheer up! Life is not bad at all! Today you feel down, tomorrow you will feel on a cloud 7. Enjoy it! Remember she likes you! Think of how many people are born unattractive and can not attract anyone. You are blessed. You can say that the girl likes you! Well, yes. she does have circumstances, but wait it out. If you will keep your cool, you will not regret.

[musicman777]

Hi Sarah,

Thanks, I agree. I went back today as normal as my daily routine and she was working, I did not go inside to talk though as I had to go pick up food somewhere but we shared a smile and wave at the window, she seems to make it a point to look at me and I definitely felt something between us for that moment. She definitely has that look in her eyes when she looks at me, my mother even noticed.

 

I too am curious what is holding her to her current bf. I don't really want to ask that yet, though. I don't really want to bring up dating or anything for a while, I want to see if she makes a move now. I think it's her turn to do something. I will continue talking with her and sharing eye contact and we'll see what happens over time. Today I definitely felt chemistry between us for that brief moment.

 

At this point my mother is kind of concerned for me, she doesn't want me to hang on to hope forever with her and I feel the same way but I am willing to wait it out for a bit to see what happens.

[Sarah691607309662]

I would not share too much with your Mom about this story. It is your decision how much time and energy you want to spend and on what. I would tell her not to worry and just relax. it could complicate your inner world way too much if you involve your mom into the story of you, her, her bf and your Mom! In love r/s it is always good to minimize the number of participants at the beginning!

 

Experiencing chemistry with another human being is such a delightful thing, that it does not really matter what are the circumstances. It does not happen that often and for many people it does not happen at all. I think being happy is a choice. Now when life has given you this gift as experiencing chemistry with another, you can choose two roads: 1) to be happy and grateful for this gift and humble enough to accept this journey as it will be unfolding; 2) to become miserable and jealous and angry because you can not have her.

 

My path would be #1. We can not live in a future. All we have is today.

[musicman777]

Hi Sarah,

I agree with your comment, thank you! I love my mother and she has seen a lot of this unfold with this girl and I talk to her about it a lot hence her interest in it. She is only worried for me and doesn't want to see me get hurt if this girl never ends up dating me. She was mentioning something about some dance thing coming up somewhere suggesting I go after this girl decided to stay with this guy and to be honest, I don't really want to go. Even if it weren't for this current girl I never, ever go to things like that, I don't even know where she got the idea from. My feelings don't easily jump from one person to the next. I agree that she shouldn't make these decisions for me, I am 25 years old now. She is an overprotective mother and always has been and she knows how bad this kind of stuff gets to me, but they are my choices to make and not hers.

 

Now at this point, I am not with the girl at the coffee place and could see whoever I want and really I shouldn't wait for her. BUT... I would like to be patient and see how this unfolds as you said. Part of me thinks there is something to this girl if I will be patient and keep talking to her when I can. I definitely feel something between us and obviously I want to explore it, we need to see if she makes the decision and I hope she doesn't keep me waiting too long because over time I may lose interest in waiting for her.

[Draven8]

Wasting your time my man. Sounds to me like fantasist behaviour. You like a girl, you asked her out, she said no, end of story.

 

If later on she decides she wants you then she will come and get you.

Your wasting energy on this, tearing yourself up over someone you don't know and have no connection to. All the BS about waiting on her and worrying about losing interest in her is just a big narrative you have made up in your mind. Saps all your energy that you could be using to live your life, maybe even find someone who wants you back.

 

Well done for asking her out, its not easy to approach someone you are attracted to and great if you can take something from it but you have to let it go now.

[JustWishing]

[/Quote]Now at this point, I am not with the girl at the coffee place and could see whoever I want and really I shouldn't wait for her. BUT... I would like to be patient and see how this unfolds as you said. Part of me thinks there is something to this girl if I will be patient and keep talking to her when I can. I definitely feel something between us and obviously I want to explore it, we need to see if she makes the decision and I hope she doesn't keep me waiting too long because over time I may lose interest in waiting for her.

 

Be true to yourself. If this is what you choose to do, then do it. I would not go on any other dates, if that is not what your heart wants.

[musicman777]

Hey everyone,

I appreciate the latest responses to my post. This hasn't really been the center of attention the past few days. I have taken the time off this weekend for friends and family, and in particular it was mothers day weekend and I made the weekend about my mother and not my own problems. I bought her a nice dinner and flowers and I also want to get a gift for her (she hasn't decided what she wants yet but I want to get her something nice as I make a lot of money now). I also did some work around the house and spent time with my sister and my nieces. I haven't seen the girl in several days now.

 

The only interesting news I got. Completely by a coincidence, I got a trustworthy friend who is working at this coffee shop now having just got a job there, and he was being trained the other day by no other than the girl in this story. It may sound sketchy but he is doing recon for me now, looking and listening for anything interesting with this girl.

 

Other than that, nothing more I can do but continue communicating and see if anything happens overtime. My friend working there, maybe it's cheating the system but I think he may get me some definite answers on her life. In the meantime I'm not going to put my life on hold for her and I wouldn't turn away another girl or date just because of this one at this point. Something is starting to seem very off about this the more and more I think about it. Something in the back of my mind is telling that she has some type of baggage that she doesn't want to reveal... something she doesn't want to leave this other guy over because most other guys wouldn't tolerate it. I'm wondering what. Does she have a kid, a disease, a drug habit, or something worse?...

[mhowe]

Or it could be loyalty, compassion and fidelity.

[musicman777]

Or it could be loyalty, compassion and fidelity.

 

Or it could be I'm fed up with the freaking excuses and BS and just for one second I wish this girl would come around around. You people all want to know something? This isn't easy for me the least bit. It's taken so much psychological effort to do any of this. Most of my optimism and forward-thinking, it's taking a lot of effort out of me to do. You know the reason I signed up on here? It was several years ago, and I've mentioned it to some of you before, but I got dumped by a girl that was a closet lesbian. You know that old saying, "you'll know when you find the right one"? That's how I felt about this girl in the past, I was 110% sure about my feelings towards her. I genuinely thought that one day I would marry her and she flipped one day just like that. Yes I was younger but I thought I knew. I was so certain. I felt like life betrayed me that day. I was already a borderline agnostic and on that day I realized there can be no god or universal rules to the way the world works.

Ever since then, it's been years but I am permanently traumatized. There's nothing I can do. I've talked to doctors about it. I don't live a miserable life by any means, I have a lot more than most people in this world do. But I feel like ever having a romantic life of any sorts with a women that is genuine, I feel like that is a physically impossible feat. I've felt so strongly about this I've actually thoroughly researched any medical breakthroughs, a way for me to remove any romantic feelings or desires towards women. Honestly I think my life would be so much better if I had a way to not being attracted to anyone or anything and not want anything with women. I would be a much more efficient and productive human being. I almost feel it is a defect, I almost feel like a gay person does, I feel like there is something wrong with me for liking women, like this isn't what I am suppose to do with my life. And situations like this only make me feel stronger.

 

I've purposely avoided it for years now. I've considered dating earlier in the year but decided against it, trying to find someone intentionally by doing more activities. I thought maybe I'm missing out on something in life. I was in fear someday, potentially in the next 10 years I will be alone. And I'm not just saying that. My dad is almost 80 years old believe it or not with COPD, and my mother is 63 now with several health problems. My dog is even getting old. It is a grim reality one day I may wake up and no one will be there for me, most of my family dead. All my aunts and uncles are now dead, my grandparents are all dead. But I still decided against dating, I am making a lot of money now and can keep myself busy maybe traveling some day or something.

Then, all of a sudden when I wasn't looking this girl came out of nowhere, and she started all of this nonsense over again. I never talk to people and I am extremely serious in real life, yet somehow this girl ended up prying into my life. I sincerely wish she hadn't, because now she is making me feel things I don't want to feel and getting me upset again. You know what is the most grim part about this? I am majoring in science and I have done some of the math and statistics on this. Considering the mean number of times I've been turned away, including the extraordinary circumstances like being dumped by a lesbian, my stay at home job, and other factors, I have something like a 1 in two-million chance of ever finding someone, and they may not even be alive anymore if I factor in human population from the past 2,000 years.

 

I have betters odds of being killed by an asteroid in my life than ever finding a woman. Isn't that absolutely ridiculous? Maybe I should just give up on this girl, considering the extraordinary numbers and circumstances. At least asteroid fragments sell for good money on ebay. I am baffled how people ever find anyone, because it is a lot of significant circumstances that must fall in to place. I have a feeling most people in life are not with the right person because the numbers don't work out.

[Draven8]

Or it could be loyalty, compassion and fidelity.

 

Peachy !!!

[JustWishing]

Look at Mhowe's signature. This is what you don't have and this is exactly what you should be striving to get. This is exactly what I meant with you need to be happy and content first. If you are not happy and content there is no way you can make someone else happy!!!!!

[musicman777]

Look at Mhowe's signature. This is what you don't have and this is exactly what you should be striving to get. This is exactly what I meant with you need to be happy and content first. If you are not happy and content there is no way you can make someone else happy!!!!!

 

First of all you all will have to ignore my attitude from the other night. I don't know, some days I have are very dark for reasons out of my control. It was just a pretty miserable, hot day (literally 90 degrees out) and my parents have been fighting over a 'legal' issue lately putting me in the middle. It didn't help thinking about my relationship issues on top.

 

Secondly, that saying, although there is some merit to it part of that saying always bothers me. I do feel you should be happy with your life and settled down before being with someone. But I feel "happy and content" with my life except for the romantic aspect of my life. How am I suppose to be happy and content with that part of my life when nothing good comes from it? I really never understood that very contradictory saying. I'm also willing to bet that most people who say they are happy without someone are lying. What about you JustWishing? Your story with the grocery store guy, do you still feel happy with that part of your life when you know you may now win that guy over? I also think that bringing another person happiness has more to do than just your own happiness. What kind of life are you living, do you have a career, a job, a way to take care of someone and help them enjoy life? Those are all qualities I have. That is just my two cents on that. As you can see I have thought about that quite a bit!

 

I will end this on a positive note for the night (well technically morning now I just work at stupid times). I talked to my coffee shop crush last night, I did not see her in almost a week now due to the holiday and her work schedule not matching the days I went in. The place was very busy and I didn't even see her there initially and then she greeted me out of nowhere, calling me by my first name (which she got off my business card and has never done before) and had a quick chat with me while she was very busy working. It was pretty blatantly obvious she wanted to communicate and made the time to do so when they were very busy. This was an interesting encounter and we both seemed to be more comfortable talking to one another past nervousness or anything.

 

I definitely feel 99% certain now she is not lying about contacting me if her current situation doesn't work out and she is leaving the door open but continuing to communicate. Now at this point I have to see if time and circumstance are on my side. You are all correct that she is a loyal and compassionate woman for not just ditching her boyfriend, but that is the unfortunate circumstance that will have to happen for me to have a shot. I will post back if anything interesting happens.

[Sarah691607309662]

Musicman, I think your situation as good as it could be in this situation. The more you will have those "blank"/"limbo" talks with her while she is not officially with you, the more you will learn about her, the more trust will be built. It does seem as you are losing by not getting exactly what you want at this time and I do understand goal-oriented people saying that stop wasting your energy on her and shop for another partner elsewhere. But in my life experience it is better to pursue your heart interests than "to shop" for something else.

 

As for happiness and contentment.... it's a journey that matters not the destination. Right now you are on the journey to know this girl and at the same time to know yourself. You will understand something very important about yourself and life during it. I am 100% sure.

 

She does like you. It is clear. No matter how loyal she is to her bf, she does want out of it r/s. She indicated it by letting you in somewhat into her life. This is the sure sign. However will she dare to break things with him or not - that we do not know and it is outside of your control. My hunch is that she will make a step towards you and will seek your attention at some point.

 

Do you do FB? Would you like to be friends with her on social media? It is a tricky one.

[JustWishing]

Secondly, that saying, although there is some merit to it part of that saying always bothers me. I do feel you should be happy with your life and settled down before being with someone. But I feel "happy and content" with my life except for the romantic aspect of my life. How am I suppose to be happy and content with that part of my life when nothing good comes from it? I really never understood that very contradictory saying. I'm also willing to bet that most people who say they are happy without someone are lying.

 

Alright, I will explain what I mean with telling you that you have to strive for that peaceful feeling....and don't take this the wrong way, I am telling you this as a friend...you are asking for insight and I will try to give you mine.

 

I noticed you have the tendency to build up a lot of negativity, emotions and arrogance. That means you do not have your emotions under control. You show this in being impatient, ranting and raving about things that bother you and flipping again. Your feelings are not constant. It is like someone who has mood swings. Either high as a kite or down in the dark cellar. Get your emotions under control. Try to be more balanced. Once you reach the easy peaceful feeling these mood swings will stop and you are more content. Find solutions for problems rather than creating problems in your head.

 

This thread is not about me and the guy I like. But notice, you are "attacking" me and trying to turn the conversation in that direction. Pointing at me, because you don't want the spotlight on you. But....This is about you and the way you handle your situation. Whether I am happy or not is completely irrelevant. My balanced, happy, non dramatic and peaceful life has nothing to do with your situation.

 

You depend your life and mood on a woman you like. When you have a good day, a good conversation, you feel good. When you have a bad day, you don't see her or you don't get the attention from her you want, you feel bad. Do not depend your life on someone else. Depend on yourself. Be okay with yourself, if things are not going the way you want them to be. Be okay with yourself, if she doesn't call or if it takes time. Don't depend on others to make you happy. Be content with yourself, even it takes time.

 

And don't think for a second that I don't know what you are going through. I know, because I have been there in my life, but I also got myself out of it. I have been hammered with some real heavy boards in my life, but you would never know.... It is what you make out of yourself. It's the journey...Do you know what I mean with all that? English is my third language, so if I am not clear about any of this, please don't hold back

[musicman777]

Thanks for the responses. JustWishing, thanks for your response and I wasn't attack you by any means but more so comparing my situation to yours. Regarding my roller coaster emotions, well, there is something else I have discovered today out of the blue. I have recently been switched to a generic prescription nasal decongestant (I have severe allergies) and I discovered this "generic" brand, it has warning labels for psychological side effects, including nervousness, anxiousness, confusion, and insomnia, all things I have been experiencing lately especially when thinking about this girl sometimes, and over the weekend it really escalated. I mention this because my mother tried the same medicine two days ago (her insurance switched her over as well she also has allergies) and literally started complaining she was feeling all these psychological effects within 24 hours of taking this new medicine.

 

It may not be entirely me but certain medications I am on. Because I swear on my life I am NOT a miserable person that is an emotional teeter-totter, sometimes I feel something else is contributing to my emotions and it could be these medications. I should also mention the labels specifically warn again alcohol usage, but on mothers day and the other night I wrote that nasty post, I had about 4 beers in me. I think I got to monitor myself and keep a diary about my emotions to see if this is going to become an escalating problem. I'm also not a common drinker or anything, only on a special occasion or something, I had family members come over and bought alcohol.

 

Sarah, thanks for your response as well. I am in agreement with everything you said, especially about "goal oriented" people when it comes to finding someone. Call me a romantic, but I don't feel like finding someone is a "goal" and I kind of feel it shouldn't be "forced", like my sticking myself in some situation intentionally with the hop of finding someone. I think it should happen naturally when you are going about living life normally. Earlier this year I strongly considered joining a yoga school, I am a karate guy and I appreciate yoga, but I did have the intention of trying to find a women there. I opted out of that idea because it feels very sleazy. I also tried dating sites many years ago and hated it, there is no "magic" in finding people on there, it's all very awkward and unnatural (and those sites exist just to make money). There's just something off-putting about "looking" for someone intentionally, I feel it should be natural. What happened with this girl was natural, I wasn't looking for her, she just came into my life. If I was in my 30's or even 40's and getting desperate for a family or something, maybe I would be more direct but this is not the case.

 

She wasn't working tonight unfortunately but next time I'm sure we will have more moments to communicate again. I'm not going to lie; I actually kind of miss her when she isn't working! I enjoy our brief moments together and I think seeing her makes the day a little brighter. I just hope my feelings are not misplaced. We'll see how this story progresses.

[Draven8]

Sounds to me like she is being friendly and as a waitress this is also part of her job.

 

Fantasying about a girl in a coffee shop who has a boyfriend and is polite to you just sounds so out of reality.

 

You are so focused on one aspect of your life, its affecting where you could elsewhere be directing your energy. Writing updates and keeping logs of meetings and encounters is as far as I am concerned a bit worrying.

[JustWishing]

Just checking in on you. Hope all is well....Time will make you feel better. This crazy emotional roller coaster will fade and you will be able to control your emotions. Bad crushes like that will fade, so ride it out. That is all you can do. The ball is in her court, there is nothing you can do. I noticed I feel better if I do not go shopping as often. I recommend for you to do the same and minimize your coffee consumption.

[Sarah691607309662]

Musicman, also wanted to check on you. I hear you about medication. I once took two birth control pills except of one two days in a row. I became a nervous wreck so my bf of the time seriously considered breaking up with me because of a sudden personality change. Thank God I discovered what I was doing and stopped it and everything went down to normal. But I learned back then that certain medication can seriously cause personality change. So I stay clean for the most part.

 

Give your story 4 months. If during this time nothing would change and you start feeling impatient and wanting out of it, then go to yoga class!

[musicman777]

Hello everyone,

Thank you very much for checking in on me, I appreciate that! I have read all your recent comments. I will try to keep this short. I am doing well, I have my ups and downs as usual. Regarding the girl in this story, I have decided I am going to continue getting my coffee and communicating with her (which is going very well and we continue to talk and smile) and continue hoping for that text message one day. I am going to wait on this and give it time to progress. I don't know about 4 months, maybe, but I am willing to wait a while to see how this comes out... let me reiterate by "wait" I do not mean I am going to hang up my life, not speak to other women if they come along, and/or dwell on this girl everyday. But I will continue to "keep it flirty" and keep a slight romantic interest in her and see if anything comes of it.

 

It may not make sense to some of you, it may be a major waste of time, it may be not be worth any of the hassle. But, I have a slight feeling. A small hunch, that eventually she will come around and I will get that date I wanted. That is how the game of love works. We do things that doesn't make sense, sometimes for people we don't know well and don't choose the most logical paths in life in an attempt to win over that special someone. I have a good feeling about this girl, I think there is something there and I feel if I am patient thinks will work out.

 

As Draven pointed out, I don't want to use this as some weird place to log every one of our visits/encounters or get weird about it. It's easy to dwell and overthink on this subject writing on a forum a lot. I am going to wrap this up for now. The next time I leave an update, it's either going to be if I officially quit pursuing this girl and meet someone else or if she decides to go on a date with me. Thanks for all the advice and feedback on my situation! - the music man