Rebelledsoul Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I don't think me and my boyfriend will work out cause of the little problems. First off, me and him have a gap age differnce of nine year I'm 22 he's turning 32 ....... Now I love him so much that I got over the age thing a long time ago but my problem is his daughter she's 7 I knew in the beginning about her of course she's his little angel and I know that but I cant say I'm ok with knowing that if I wanna build a future it's not gonna be as exciting cause I always wanted someone where it would have been ( OUR ) first child ( yes it's selfish but it's always what I wanted and I did let him know that.) but that's not that big of a deal either a huge problem is that his daughter is completely disrespectful. I met her two summers ago when we first started dating I brought him to my moms and she met her too ( my mom is known for being over the top and too nice ) so her being her invited his daughter for the weekend to go in the pool with his little sis ( his daughter and sister are the same age yes kind of strange lol .) Now since I felt like I was put under pressure and I wasn't even ready for this at that time cause I only kneww her for ten minutes but I still said okay because my mom put me on the spot . The weekend comes and my boyfriend shows up with his little sister ( no problem with her cause she has great manners!) and daughter and of course I greet them . And his daughter never says anything . She just stares as if I got ten heads. I noticed that he didn't notice, so I just brushed it off. They got into the pool and one thing I hated was my boyfriend ;he left me to watch them the whole day, while he was playing basketball with his brothers ... So I decided to invite my two good girls over too so I wouldn't feel lonely .. When they got there I introduced his daughter and sister to my friends and his daughter started being rude to my friend in the pool she was giving her rude stares and rolling her eyes at everyone she even said at one point that my friend wasn't the boss of her. ( I forgot what my friend asked her but I know she asked her to stop doing something ) she even told one of my cousin that she didn't like him and he was gross. I didn't hear that part, because I had gone for a drink but he told me nonetheless . I get frustrated since my bf is barely watching them I wrap the whole thing up and tell the girls to get changed in my moms . ... I stayed outside with the grown folks for about 20 mins and I went back inside to see if they were ready and my mom had to tell me she had to talk to the my boyfriends daughter about her attitude because she was trying to tell my little sister and his little sister mean things . I apologized and told the girls my bf was outside waiting for them.. Another time I was at his moms we had stayed the night on Xmas ( I normally hate staying there but she gets lonely and wants company a lot.) but the next day after Xmas I was taking a shower at his moms while he is in the living room and when I get out his daughter and baby mother are there his daughter his on his lap and his bm is eating his moms cooked food, he introduced me as my name which is dee .. That's all.. Lol I was pissed but I controlled it then I went over to him and I said hi to little miss attitude on his lap . Of course I was nice but she just **** stared at me !!!!!!!!!!!! Like I was **** stupid .... Honestly I knew I was better than this but when she did that I just scoffed laughed and walked away to his moms room while his baby mama started arguing an screaming with him about god knows what ... After that day I find myself questioning our relationship everyday and of course I brought up why didn't he introduce me properly like say I was ur girlfriend he said that she asked that after I walked away but I never heard it..what the hell should I do Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 You're not ready to be in a relationship with someone with a young child for several reasons so I would move on now before the little girl gets attached to you. You may never want that situation but it's obviously the wrong time now and it's not fair to you, your boyfriend or his family. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 You don't have enough understanding of children to be in a relationship with a man with a child is what I am getting from your post , you are talking about her like you are both the same age ..she is 7 ..a little girl ..you have to be able to step away from a childs attitude and remember who the adult is ... There could be a whole host of reasons why ..but I suspect jealousy played a huge part in all of this ..as you said she is his little princess ..so to her ..you are taking daddy's attention .. its so complex ..their little heads get so mixed up . I believe he is hugely at fault ..for putting her on you so quickly and then for going off leaving you to play mum .. out of order ... I don't blame you for wanting to meet a man and have your first child together ...that's lovely and I hope you do get that ..because right now you have to realise that there will always be drama ...always ..your own kids will give you drama , but it is easier to deal with because they are your own . It is now full circle for most of my friends ...40's/50's ..they woudnt want to date anyone with kids under 18 ..because they have seen it done it ..and dont want it again . Link to comment
happyfrank Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Not ready for this relationship. The dad and girl are package deal. If you can't love them both. You shouldn't be with them. Link to comment
Rebelledsoul Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 I am fully aware of my position as an adult to her I never feel jealous or anything it's not the case she's a very beautiful little girl I even brought it up to my boyfriend that she wasn't the sweetest to me , I'm around his little sister more and I get along with her perfectly fine I actually look at her as a little sister now, I even went out my way one time to try and talk to the daughter I told her I loved her sneakers which I really did cause they were polka Dots she again just looked at me it makes me feel like rejected cause I really want her to like me ... My boyfriend has no control when e is not with her being as tho the mom is the one who takes care of her and she has two other kids before her .... I don't think this lady is teachig her manners at all because even my bfs mom had to talk to her constantly about her behavior after his moms house his mom even brought me aside ( she barely speaks English ) and she patted me and said it was okay don't worry about it. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 This has nothing to do with you being jealous and everything to do with not understanding children nor your place in his&her life. Link to comment
missmarple Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 You're very young for all this. You may love your b/f but, the thing is, that little girl will always be a part of his life..even if you end up getting married and have kids of your own. I would consider ending the relationship and look for someone closer to my age and without kids. You're just at different stages in life. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Don't do this child any favors by interacting with her -children always know when the grownup feels a sense of obligation or doesn't really like them. It's your problem if you choose to react to a child's indifference about your compliment by feeling "rejected" -she has no obligation to like you - she's a person, she gets to choose who she clicks with and who she doesn't. What she needs to do is behave respectfully towards you given her age -meaning, she should not scream in your face or hit you of course (nothing physical like that). And you need to do the same -not seek her approval. You're not her mom or part of her family -you're her dad's friend. That is all. Link to comment
relevart Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 At 22, I was not ready to be involved with someone who had a kid at all. In hindsight, it may have been easier with an infant or a toddler. You are not obligated to be anything to her and if you don't feel it or want to be it, then leave the situation. The sooner the better for everyone's sake. Not being ready for this type of relationship is not a sign of weakness. The dad was very wrong to leave you in charge that day at the pool. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I am fully aware of my position as an adult to her I never feel jealous or anything just to clarify my post ...I meant the little one getting jealous at having to share daddy ..not you getting jealous . Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I agree with the others. I don't think you are jealous of the child; I think you aren't ready to date a man with a child. Link to comment
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