'Methods' to get back an ex......

[chai714]

There ARE ways to get an ex back. It's all about your approach - the combination of the words you use, body language, and psychological tactics. Will it be true love? That is open to interpretation. Your actions affect someone's reaction. What you say/do, how you act, the character you portray - all of these have an effect on your ex. But it's not limited to just an ex, but humans in general. This is where we derive the term, "human nature." Certain things we say/do affect the other persons thoughts. The brain is the central organ in which thoughts are seeded and extracted and acted out in life. If you can get inside of their head, you have a much better chance of navigating that person in the direction you choose, thus you gain more control of the situation. This is not easy, but it can be done.

[DragonGirl724]

There ARE ways to get an ex back. It's all about your approach - the combination of the words you use, body language, and psychological tactics......Certain things we say/do affect the other persons thoughts. The brain is the central organ in which thoughts are seeded and extracted and acted out in life. If you can get inside of their head, you have a much better chance of navigating that person in the direction you choose, thus you gain more control of the situation. This is not easy, but it can be done.

 

WOW! i believe that is called manipulation.

 

ma·nip·u·la·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (m-npy-lshn)

n.

 

The act or practice of manipulating.

The state of being manipulated.

Shrewd or devious management, especially for one's own advantage.

 

v. loved, lov·ing, loves

v. tr.

To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person): We love our parents. I love my friends.

To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person).

To have an intense emotional attachment to: loves his house.

Out of compassion; with no thought for a reward: She volunteers at the hospital for love.

________________________________________________________

 

i think that justifies what i mean. in plain English.

LOVE is not a 'prize' so there are no ways of 'winning it'. itll come to you only if its real & meant to be.

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

we shouldnt 'TOY 'with other people's minds & hearts! would you ever put a love spell on someone?? hopefully NOT, b/c its morally WRONG! but it pretty much does what you say you can do & get away with...in order to 'get into ther minds' to get him or her back. that sounds a little off the deep end if you ask me.

 

how would YOU feel if someone was trying to do this to YOU???

 

-DG724

[chai714]

would you ever put a love spell on someone?? hopefully NOT, b/c its morally WRONG!

 

I don't believe in witchcraft, spells, or anything of that sort. I really don't think you can put a spell on anyone, because I don't believe such a thing exists.

 

Is what I described manipulation? I could see how someone may see it like that. It depends on your intentions though . . . most people have good intentions when trying to get back with an ex - that purpose being love. If you have bad intentions, such as revenge, then I would say that it would be manipulation, but it's important to consider one's intentions when dealing with an ex. We all at one point, manipulate others to get what we want, whether it be "exagerrating" qualifications on a resume, influencing people to think your way. Is this wrong? It could be viewed as wrong by others, but so is rolling a stop sign according to the police. This is why your intentions play a big part in what is being manipulative, and what is not.

[twelve]

what it comes down to is: if they have 'too much pride to work things out' then 'they arent really that into you'. no matter what BS line they feed you thats what it comes down to

 

Thanks, I see your point and I agree with you, harsh but TRUE

But I just want to say, this person does this with anyone who she loves, when they hurt her, she punishes them, and won't instigate, likes her power.

 

Background: I used to play music with this person.

 

She did it with her current boyf, he had to come back to her after long time of NC.

When we had a fight and didnt speak for 6 months, I had to go back to her, and she was very defensive, but told me how she felt I was the only one for her musically and I know how she feels about me.

(only after I asked her to play music again with me)..I know a BS line when I hear it and this person wudnt bother with one, it was hard for her to say it I could tell.

 

So now im confused.

People can be very manipulative.

Strategies are BS.

[DragonGirl724]

We all at one point, manipulate others to get what we want, whether it be "exagerrating" qualifications on a resume, influencing people to think your way. Is this wrong? It could be viewed as wrong by others, but so is rolling a stop sign according to the police. This is why your intentions play a big part in what is being manipulative, and what is not.

 

yeah car salesmen manipulate, telemarketers, advertisers & even artists manipulate the mind. but when you personally manipulate another human being's heart to attempt to make them love you again. is a complete waste of energy & obsessive. not to mention, pointless, b/c the other person doesnt feel genuinly for you, youre TRYING TO MAKE THEM FEEL THINGS THAT ARENT THERE by manipulating words & actions. ehh. its a waste of time if you ask me, or anyone else that wants sincerity in a relationship. just move on & find someone that you can see eye to eye with, without 'having to do things to make them feel a certain way.'

 

-DG724

[twelve]

heya DragonGirl724

 

do you have a response to the above that you can answer honestly

i believe you are right somewhat but not entirely.

[DragonGirl724]

to be honest ninelives i was very confused by your last post.

 

sorry. if youd like to explain it a little clearer id appreciate it.

 

-DG724

[fantasia2004]

what it comes down to is: if they have 'too much pride to work things out' then 'they arent really that into you'. no matter what BS line they feed you thats what it comes down to

 

Thanks, I see your point and I agree with you, harsh but TRUE

But I just want to say, this person does this with anyone who she loves, when they hurt her, she punishes them, and won't instigate, likes her power.

 

Background: I used to play music with this person.

 

She did it with her current boyf, he had to come back to her after long time of NC.

When we had a fight and didnt speak for 6 months, I had to go back to her, and she was very defensive, but told me how she felt I was the only one for her musically and I know how she feels about me.

(only after I asked her to play music again with me)..I know a BS line when I hear it and this person wudnt bother with one, it was hard for her to say it I could tell.

 

So now im confused.

People can be very manipulative.

Strategies are BS.

 

HGow does that make sense what truth is there to that? Elaborate dragon girl?!

[DragonGirl724]

i am so confused. what is everyone talking about..?

 

i didnt write the 2nd part of that post you quoted fantasia.

 

-DG724

[fantasia2004]

the quote I meant

[DragonGirl724]

the quote I meant

 

when i said: "what it comes down to is: if they have 'too much pride to work things out' then 'they arent really that into you'. no matter what BS line they feed you thats what it comes down to"

 

i was referring to a previous post who said theyre ex would want to come back but wony come back b/c he/she wont swollow their pride enough to suck it up & face the fact they messed up & rekindle something...

 

so i said: "what it comes down to is: if they have 'too much pride to work things out' then 'they arent really that into you'. no matter what BS line they feed you thats what it comes down to."

 

& i meant that if their "pride to not be wrong or make a mistake" means more to them than making up & going back to an ex then im sorry they mustn't love you. b/c true love can overcome that selfish pride.

 

ninelives im sorry im still unsure about your post. can you reword it? id like to fully understand what you were referring to.

 

-DG724

[twelve]

heya,

what i was saying was that this is not ALWAYS true, like, i agree with ya, but it's not a rule that can be appiled to every person/situation.

I gave examples of another ex she was in love with, but waited for him to contact her.

WEIRD, I know

before our last fight, when we got back in contact brielfy, she told me how much she missed me and felt about me, but i had had to inititae contact with her.

 

have a reread of my post now, and you'll see what i am on about hopefully

PS: iam an ex best friend, not ex bf/gf

[DragonGirl724]

heya,

what i was saying was that this is not ALWAYS true, like, i agree with ya, but it's not a rule that can be appiled to every person/situation.

I gave examples of another ex she was in love with, but waited for him to contact her.

WEIRD, I know

before our last fight, when we got back in contact brielfy, she told me how much she missed me and felt about me, but i had had to inititae contact with her.

 

have a reread of my post now, and you'll see what i am on about hopefully

PS: iam an ex best friend, not ex bf/gf

 

i understand what you mean & i thank you for clearing it up & using small words that i understand. lol just kidding.

 

but my point i wanted to make the clearest in my post topic is that, yeah your friend & her man got back together & did NC during that time. BUT they didnt get back together b/c they didnt talk, they got back together b/c they BOTH still loved eachother. see the difference. if he didnt love her anymore shed STILL be doing NC & STILL waiting & STILL trying methods to get back with him. (im not saying she purposely DID try 'strategies to win him back' but if she did she wouldnt have been successful if HE wanted nothing to do with her on a romantic level anymore.)

 

but there are so many ex relationships on this forum where id say more than 1/2 are 1 sided. meaning for example: the dumpee waiting & doing NC & overanalyzing everything in hopes that it will bring back their ex, BUT meanwhile their ex isnt looking to ever get back with them.

 

and its best for that 'wisher' (whether it be the dumpee or dumper) to just break out of that thought & go about their lives. b/c there are many many times that exs dont want anything to do with you on that level again. its like 1 times enough for them, it didnt work out oh well. i know b/c ive been on both sides of the spectrum.

 

b/c they will only get back with you if their hearts lead them back to you. & if their heart is no longer with you no matter if you talk daily or like once every 3 months, they WILL NOT go back to you. & no strategy can ever come between a person & their free will.

 

-DG724

[twelve]

I agree 100% with you, what you say is so very true, the person has to still love you.

But with my situation, they do

"when we got back in contact brielfy, she told me how much she missed me and felt about me, but i had had to inititae contact with her"

 

It was me who told her where to go when she started treating me badly again.

I am not the dumpee who has had someone fall out of love with them, so in this case, the pride issue doesn't really follow the usual rule, which I agree with you on, and I have no idea what to do, i regret the things I said out of anger and I know she will never contact me

[fantasia2004]

But is it stupid to force the issue of wanting to be friends with an ex if you have no longer seen them in years?

[twelve]

do you mean me?

i last saw my ex about 5 months ago.

 

if you are asking for an answer for you, no I do not think so at all, time can change things.

[hockeyboy]

i think i have to agree with chai here. i dont believe what he is talking about is manipulating. when you go on a first date with someone, how do you act? do you act the exact same as you would around people you've known for a while. usually people tend to dress a little better, be a little more polite and proper, maybe try to be more funny, maybe come accross more confident, all kinds of things. is that manipulating too? they simply want to be liked. i know that with girls ive dated, the person they really are did not come out at first..and i probably did the same. i think its okay to try to use things such as body language to get an ex back. it is hard to articulate my thoughts real well on this, but i dont think theres anything wrong with trying to impress.

[cassiana]

What are the chances of reconciling with an ex who got cold feet or broke up for reasons outside the relationship. I recently got confirmation of how much m ex cared for me up until the week of the breakup and after. What are the odds he will come back when he gets his new job and gets his life in order?

Can a man walk away and stay away from a relationship that, by his own admission was "absolutely great"?

[kate111]

I agree with Dragongirl. If somebody loved you enough they would OVERCOME whatever outside reason there is for the break up. If they can't overcome it, then really, they didn't care enough.

 

There is some small tricks you CAN do to maximise your chances. No contact and getting your life together are things which make you are more attractive person. Especially when they are done by a codependent or the more needy partner from the relationship.

 

But there is no guarantee they will work. You can try them for a while then give up.

 

After all there IS a life outside your ex. There are more people in the world. Why hang around waiting for somebody to come back who dumped you. They obviously didn't appreciate you so find someone who does.

[cassiana]

You speak alot of sense kate. Sadly there aren't alot of people who appreciate others. Maybe there's a trick to that too. I'm doing all the sensible stuff. I suppose that I hope that this trip will help him overcome all those obstacles that are holding him back, job illness etc. There's no use telling a man with pride that we can work through them together. I suppose I would be the same, wanting to present the best side of me to the one I admire. Maybe that's what's happening.

 

or maybe not.

[cassiana]

Here is something my ex wrote to his friend about 3 weeks before he broke up with me.

 

"I'm back from ??????. I overnighted there with Cassiana-lots of fun- and we took a walk on the beach after-as u do. don't know where this romance will end;but it's good for now. hope no-one's heart gets broken etc. life is good on that end."

 

 

Any opinions on that?

[DragonGirl724]

Here is something my ex wrote to his friend about 3 weeks before he broke up with me.

 

"I'm back from ??????. I overnighted there with Cassiana-lots of fun- and we took a walk on the beach after-as u do. don't know where this romance will end;but it's good for now. hope no-one's heart gets broken etc. life is good on that end."

 

 

Any opinions on that?

 

i didnt realize it was about you until now..so i am re-wording my reply.

yeah its basically meaning he didnt know how things would end up with you 2...but you said 'ex' so i guess that confusion was settled... im sorry, youre probably still upset over it.

 

-DG724

[twelve]

he sounds like he doesn't know what he wants

[cassiana]

You know after ten months of suffering, in the last two weeks I feel myself just disliking him and not caring so much. Now if he contacted me I would give him a good telling off.