'Methods' to get back an ex......

[DragonGirl724]

he sounds like such a jerk!! listen my best advice on this is to not worry yourself over him. he is a creep & should be last on your list of concerns! hes gone out of your life, you dont need him. your #1 priority is to relax & care for the baby growing inside of you. everything you do effects him/her. you can be a very successful single mother. a lot of mothers & fathers do it. but you also have the choice of whether you decide to keep this baby or not. its not too late to consider it one way or another. think it through. plan out your life & do the responsible thing. whichever road that takes you. take care of yourself. wishing you all the best.

 

-DG724

[starrrr]

My ex broke up with me because he says that "we simply were not working out..." We were at a point where we were getting into a lot of arguments, mainly brought up from me because he was starting to act disinterested in our relationship. I would also like to mention we are doing this long distance relationship thing...and we've done it for 7 months till we broke up. [we were together for a 1 yr and half] I would also like to mention this guy is my first love...I completely fell head over heels for him....We broke up for 3 weeks agp...and its not a secret i'm the one taking it the hardest [we both know it]...

 

At first, i begged him not to do it, it was real pathetic but i couldn't help it. The week after i couldn't do anything...I didn't communicate with him but finally did after a week and even saw him...I coudln't take it anymore. He told me that i'll be okay...that i'm strong...basically he was telling me to move on...and that's when it really hit me that we were OVER. So i did my best to move on, while we stayed friends....I really jus thought of us as friends.

 

But a week ago...HE starts tellin me he misses me...out of the blue! Then he tells me again..and again...and he also starts sayin he loves me again...jus like old times. The first couple of times i didn't read into it and took it as NOTHING. Thought of it as jus normal for him to miss me....

 

But it's finally taken a toll on me and slowing me down from moving on!! And can u believe he also told me that being friends was a good start for him to see how he feels?!!??!! I was totally dumbfounded when he told me this...it took me a couple of days to bring it up...and all i get is an "its going to take awhile for me to know..i wont know right away..." and then he says.."i shouldn't have told you that.." after i pointed out that he was startin to confuse me.....

 

I just want to ask him....wtf, do you want to be with me or not!?? Make up ur mind!!

 

So what is he really jus stringin me along, and having me as back up or somethin? I mean, are people really that cruel? and/or stupid to not realize that its making it HARDER for the other person?!!?!

 

You say the heart will want what it wants....I told him he better not be sayin those things [missin and lovin you...etc...] he tell me jus to make it easier on me and he replies with.."i wouldn't say it if i didn't feel it..."

 

Will he jus eventually grow out of it and stop telling me these things...and is this jus his way of makin it easier on him? Are people really that inconsiderate....!

 

When he tells me he loves me and all...it really seems genuine......n i dont know what to do. He's being an a**hole isn't he....? But i hate to think i love and STILL love an a**hole!! I'm not that stupid to be with one [i'd like to think]...i also want to mention, we're both pretty young...im 18, n he's 19 [if that matters]. so i'd really like to know...what's your intake of all this?

 

Is there really not chance of us getting back together, unless he FOR SURE without a doubt know he wants to be with me?? Is that the only way this would actually work?

 

Is there such a thing as falling BACK in love with someone?

[clodhopper]

I wonder the same thing -- is there such a thing as falling back into love with someone??

 

I held onto hope thinking it was possible when my ex and I broke up, and he said he loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore... and I hoped he'd fall back into it.

 

It hasn't happened and I've realized that I think the only way that can happen is if you separate and go your own ways... and maybe one day in the future if you meet again, something could start up again. But if you just continue talking and stuff... I don't think it's possible.

[DragonGirl724]

starrr,

 

your situation sounds a lot like my last one. ill share it with you & ill try to explain it & relate it to how yours is & how it might end up. the rest is totally your own decision.

 

in my situation he said things just cant work out any longer also. we faught a lot the last 2-3 months of it, over stuff that when looking back on it could probably have been prevented & talked out on both of our parts, but i guess it too just got to that point that it was just like enough is enough already...i took it unbelievably badly, it was probably the most painful experience someone ever initiated onto me. but regardless it was done. in your case of your BF being your first love im sure it just adds to it all. my ex wasnt my 'first love' but it was probably the realest kind of love i swear i ever had with anyone....at least on my part...so i understand the level of pain youre at right now, & i completely can relate to how much it sucks.

 

dont beat yourself up for begging to work things out, i know i did it too. it is just such a sudden strike of reality & a reality w/o the one who comforts you, who is instead provoking this pain, makes it almost impossible to deal with at the moment. we too tried to be on cival casual terms talking online. ..after a lot of verbal exchanges......anger on his part, sadness on mine. like you, we too found this kind of common ground, just pretty much talked online.....it was tolerable, for a little while.

 

like your ex, mine too called me up a month later & said how much he missed me....i see it now as; after a month, this is usually just to cope & deal w/ missing this person, this doesnt necessarily mean your ex wants you back. its an adjustment period....sometimes. all cases are different.

 

well, we agreed to have dinner & just hang out. we had an awesome time. it was a little painful for me to see him & know i didnt have him any longer, but i took in all i could that night, in a way realizing this is probably the last night we'll ever have together & when i looked at him, i allowed the visual to just get embedded into me. as if he was going to fall off the face of the earth after that night. neither of us wanted the night to end. we really had a blast when in eachothers company, both during the relationship, & after for this one night. i remember i tried to say goodbye a couple of times & he just kept thinking of other things to do or talk about. in a way that made it harder for me, but i was able to deal. i sure as hell wasnt complaining. its not uncommon for the dumper & the dumpee to need this kind of waning period. a time to adjust to life w/o this person after they were so involved in your life just a few days ago...this could be what your ex is doing right now, or maybe hes doing some major reconsideration...time will soon tell which direction he is going towards.

 

towards the end of the night just sitting next to him in his car just sent my nerves completely on edge...i was shaking almost the entire night. i didnt know how to handle myself....if you think youre going to react this way, then give yourself some more time to calm down before jumping at the chance to see him when & if he calls to hang out with you. if you 2 meet up dont do what i did...which is exactly that, i missed him so much i went even though i probably wasnt emotionally ready to see him again. but i missed him, i loved him & i really wanted to see him....partly b/c the dreams at night just tore me apart completely i felt i needed to see him to just ease my mind a little....man was i wrong! lol we ended up making out, initiated by myself, & afterwards i was a complete wreck....talking about 'us' again & im not sure if i was crying out loud, but i know i was dying inside, a part of me crumbled & caved in when we kissed. it sent my heart into overdrive & i felt like i was gonna have a heart attack...literally. lol

 

be very cautious & try not to give in to the part of you that wants to jump his bones & tell him how much you love him. that night he told me things that would EFF me up for a long time...he still told me "im the most perfect girl for him, im so beautiful, the girl hed want to one day marry. he doesnt even feel he deserves me, but one day when hes ready he'll come back to me....if i was still around." he appologized endlessly & said now is just very bad timing, i wish i met you like 2-3 years from now when im established etc.....NOW THIS REALLY SCREWED ME OVER! i didnt know it then, & i dont think he did either but those words echoes in my mind for about 6-7 months down the line.....everything else didnt matter....all i know is what he said & in reality i would have waited forever for him. i thought his words were genuine. BUT THAT WAS MY MISTAKE, i learned to never put my life & love on hold for anyone....but unfortunately i learned that later on that year. if he tries to talk to you like this tell him to cut the crap & quit beatin around the bush. problems cultivate when people sugar coat things & use the old run around. tell him to tell it like it is...its like the Band-Aid effect...the longer you take to rid yourself of it the longer & more painful it is...BUT if you rip it all off at the beginning the pain will still be there but itll go away that much faster....

 

towards the end of the summer i was faced w/ a dilemma....he & i still talked, didnt hang out really just primarily talked, but in all honesty i had like 5 guys at the time very interested in me & i went on dates w/ them but couldnt let go of those words my ex said to me. it was like a curse & it replayed over & over in my mind. so one day i called him up.....(i felt the frustrating agony that you feel right now....) & i said im faced w/ a problem (i didnt tell him it involved a handful of other people but i assume he knew what i was talking bout). & i said...i need to know how you feel about me, i need to know right now, im faced with a crossroad. i need the God's honest truth, no BS, just give it to me, b/c the past 7 months or so i was living off of the words you told me back in april (a month after breakup). i cant seem to get past it, its torture, so whats up...whats the deal?!???

 

expecting the worst but hoping for the best at that very moment i blurted & rambled all this out, my voice was shaking. i was expecting the worst but hoping for the best, but never the less i felt IMMEDIATELY RELIEVED!!! i lifted this burden & freed myself from this prison i kept myself in for so long....its out of my hands now. (if i were you id wait a little while to do this & not see eachother for a little bit. you 2 need to get your thoughts together. you guys broke up for a reason, nows the time to fix whatever problems that were there, acknowledge who you are, see him for who he is & then & ONLY THEN is it the time to find out if the 2 of you, after being separated for a little while, can find it in your lives to work with eachother & determine if there is a future together.)

 

needless to say, he still said im a great girl but no we are not getting back together any time soon...(i didnt dwell on the 'anytime soon' part) i took it for what it was...& i said what about all that crap you said to me back in april...you lied to me. he said i guess in a way i wanted to let you down easy. i then explained how much agony it caused me by him taking the easy way out & by telling me he 'still wanted to marry me' isnt letting me down easy...thats EFFin w/ my head! & i said dont do that to anyone you ever date again. & i wished him all the best in life & we hung up...

 

soooooo....to relate back to your present situation...it could go the way it went for me, or it could go in the complete opposite direction. i just wanted to open your eyes to what possibilities to expect & some small pieces of advice to help you out along the way. the rest is up to you. i'll leave you with one more thing...not to sound like a cliche' but sometimes what you want at 18-19 isnt what youre going to want when youre 30-40...i know what i wanted at 18 changed at 19 & what i wanted at 20 isnt what i want now at 21. life is a growing experience, we change with everything we go through & all of the people in it play a role. whether that role is a short part of your life, or one thatll still be around 50 years from now...."some people walk in & out of your life on a daily basis, meanwhile others leave footprints on your soul forever..." and in my situation even though he & i arent on good terms right now, i know ill never forget him or the memories we had together....the good & the bad, but all we can do is learn from it....and who knows what the future holds...life goes on i guess.....

 

goodluck with everything,

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

and the answer to your question is yes. people sometimes fall out of love & find their way back in.....but the whole point of this main topic was to make clear that..nothing YOU DO can make someone fall in love with you...they'll only come back if it feels right in their heart as well.

 

-DG724

[clodhopper]

yes i think we all have to realize this when we're going through situations similar to yours... it's possible to fall back into love, but there are no "methods" to get back your ex. i think time really heals... and i think everyone needs to take that time apart from their ex to just get on with their lives, no matter how hard that may be. bottom line is you cant bring back your ex and make them fall back in love with you. they are the only one that can make that decision. just know that whats meant to happen will happen, and if you're meant to be friends you will be, if you're meant to be more you will be... but you cant force it

[DragonGirl724]

nice to see you understand clodhopper.

 

-DG724

[clodhopper]

i'm trying dragongirl

 

i find that i understand other people's situations and am able to kick them into reality, but i cant accept what other people tell me about my situation when they try to give me a reality check...

[starrrr]

It's all so strange. Yea he also told me who knows what will happen in the future, we might be together again n yadda yadda...he also told me when we broke up that the next guy i'll be with will be real lucky to have me...Yea i also did think he was just being nice to me, making it easier on me...and i guess i'll just stick to that. I Won't even hope for us to get together anymore, i'm tired of getting disappointed. He's crazy also to think i'm that strong that he can tell me he misses and loves me and expects me to go on with life normally afterwards. It completely kills me inside.

 

Our problems we definitely could've worked out. But i forgot to mention he also said that he just "doesn't feel the same anymore..." And so that's probably why he didn't stick around for us to work on our issues, instead he just threw in the towel...he seemed so sure then. But now he's all unsure...it's ridiculous really. I go to college and have a lot of responsibilities, and this is completely weighing me down. I don't have time for this! My head knows it, i jus wish my heart realized it too....

 

I would also would like to know if i can be as happy again as i was when i was with him but without him...Being with him really has been the best times of my life, i was genuinely happy for the first time out of my 18 years of existence. He brought in this new found happiness that i never even knew existed. We both benefited from our relationship as i learned to love, and as he learned to love AGAIN [he was also heartbroken by his first love].

 

It's a bit ironic to me cuz it seems i've taught him that he CAN love again, and that's how he probably feels about us. He'll just find another love after me....Well i guess i did my service to him, and he's definitely reinforced my old philosophy in which i won't give my heart away unless the circumstances and conditions are to our benefit...but then again sometimes you can't help it!

 

But basically, i wont EXPECT nor HOPE for us to get back together. But i'll still love him no matter what, even after this. He can't help the way he feels, and i want him to be happy anyway. So if he's happier not being with me, then that's how it'll be. As for me i guess i just have to learn to be happy without him and find other sources...[not from guys for sure!]

 

 

And also, i like the "i guess" add on after you said "life moves on..." Nice touch...a bit discouragin tho! lol But yea i realize that life does move on.....when he broke up with me i thought it was the end of the world!! literally! My drive and motivation for life was yanked out of me. But then i wake up the next day and i have so many things to do...besides sulk around [tho thats all i wanted to do...and still want to do]. The weeks after i jus felt like a zombie, being tugged along by the other things goin on around my life [like school, friends, family...].

 

Thanks for sharing your story, yea they sound pretty similar. I guess it is my decision if i just want to sit around waiting and making it more painful for me or I can just forget about us ever getting back together and MOVE ON. And i definitely want the latter...

 

Yea there's also guys out there, but i've decided to not go that route. And i dont know, i dont like being around other guys because they just make me think how they're NOT him. For now i'm staying away from guys, [unless they're really hot ofcourse..lol] but yea, wow writing in this forum really does help. I already feel better jus after writing these posts...

 

I want to say i don't want to talk to him anymore and take the NC route, but to be honest i cant do it. I figure i'll just talk to him as friends and NOT bring up the US issue anymore since there is no US anymore. I just want to talk to him because i enjoy it, and not to manipulate him or try to convince him to get back with me or anything! And if he tells me he misses n loves me again...i'll jus tell him "back at cha!" lol But no i'll jus smile and nodd and tell him me too and that's it. I'll think of it as telling of my girlfriends i miss n love them. I tell them that all the time but doesn't mean i want to get with them....

 

I hope this works! AGain thx for everythin...i'll keep ya posted.

[starrrr]

wow you guys post fast....

 

but anyway, i see what you guys are saying. I've thought of all that too [the whole whats meant to be will be], but sometimes its so hard to make sense of anything when your head is not clear. But yea...i guess only time will tell!

 

But i'm definitely not sitting around waiting, i'm going to move on still and really try to forget about us. I can't control what happens in my life but i can definitely only control my reaction and attitude towards it all.

 

And im takin it us things happen, we simply didn't work out....

[DragonGirl724]

starrr,

 

i added the 'i guess' b/c at the time it happened i felt as if i wouldnt have a life again. so apparently that is not the case ...though the situation may never leave you completely, life does still go on. just get the closure you need as fast as you could (the part where you said: "but sometimes its so hard to make sense of anything when your head is not clear") & once you find that absolution within yourself just run with it...itll happen sooner or later. hopefully sooner than later.

 

it seems like you have the right mind set just keep going with it. i know what you mean about dating others for a while i couldnt date anyone else...i was on a date with someone & it really screwed me over once. i just took my time after that & shyed away from dating for about a month. then i was cool again.

 

i too stayed in touch with him to just be cool with things but it gets difficult sometimes....you tend to overanalyze things. for instance if he says hes hanging out w/ a chick, youre gonna get all bent about it arent you? like who is she? whats she look like? what the hell? sometimes its best to just be out of sight out of mind i guess. but we're all different & handle things differently..im glad you do realize that nothing you do or dont do will bring him back..its best to get that through people's heads right away. take what he says with a grain of salt as you said youre going to do. its better that way trust me. lol learn from my mistakes. its crazy how one person can do so much to you. but itll pass, youll be fine so enough.

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

im upping this topic b/c there are a few people i see here that NEED to read it.

 

-DG724

[annie24]

Yes, I agree DG. I haven't gone back and read through all 12 pages of this thread recently, but yes, there isn't a way to make someone want to come back to you.

 

I know in the past, I was heartbroken over some guy or another that had broken up with me and I wanted him back. Sitting around strategizing didn't do me a bit of good. Years later, nothing worked, and I was closing myself off to meeting men who would have been right for me.

 

My old roommate would say this, and she was totally right, "Annie - things work out the way they're supposed to."

 

I do really think that we meet certain people for a reason. To teach us something about life, or about ourselves. Instead of pining away endlessly, sometimes it's best to accept it, learn some lessons, and move on.

 

And, if it's meant to be - then they will find a way back to you - but not if you sit around waiting for them! That doesn't happen.

[DragonGirl724]

EXACTLY! and so many people on here dont seem to get it.

 

-DG724

[pixie102]

I didn't read through this whole post, but the messages I read--I could completely relate to. I have a post on this bored "Confused about my ex situation." It kind of goes into what I'm going through. But just this past saturday, my ex called me and told me he got back together with his ex (that he was living with for the past year). At first, I was initially shocked and felt sick to my stomach. But me and him made the plans for me to visit him without her in the picture (after they had broken up). And I'm not going to let her being back in the picture ruin MY vacation plans. And he said she was cool with it...but I don't believe that for a second.

 

I just don't understand why he got back together with her. He's the one who broke up with her. He was unhappy in that relationship. He didn't like anything about her. He told me about how their relationship even started. They had been friends before, kind of...he's friends with her brother. Well, he moved to florida for her, because that's where she was living and she told him she'd take care of him, etc. Well, he said he found out the day before he got there, she had slept with some other guy. And he said right away, he was like, why did I come down here. He wasn't happy from the start.

 

He adores her daughter, which I think is the main reason he got back with her.

 

I just don't know. I obviously do have feelings for him. But I planned my trip to see him as a friend, to hang out with an old friend.

 

We've been good friends all these years...is it possible to ever have something more? I mean we're friends for a reason....

[starrrr]

I completely agree with this topic, there is no method...you can't sit around waiting nor can you manipulate the situation, you gotta let things happen naturally...

 

And that's what i have done since my last post in here..we had tried being friends at first but that didn't work, i couldn't handle it, and so i initiated NC to give myself time and the chance to fully accept and move on.

 

And it's funny that right when you pick urself up on ur OWN two feet and finally start movin on, is when they show up again asking you back......

 

I haven't made the decision yet...

 

And for you Pixie, it is possible, anythings possible...but all i can say is don't sit around waiting for it and putting your hopes up. Just be friends and simply that, get that thought of you guys being together out of your mind, cuz it'll drive u crazy, and just really be FRIENDS and do NOT TRY TO manipulate the situation or anything...just be real and don't do anything you'll regret, you don't want to scare him away and lose a friend also......and things will fall into place...

[pixie102]

Thanks so much starrr. I love this thread. It's nice to finally be able to talk about this situation and people actually understand because they've been there. Most people I talk to about it don't fully understand because they haven't been there before.

 

I've been doing so good at being just friends with my ex, for the past two years! Until I told everyone I was going to visit him and they all suggested it was something more than a friendship and something would happen, etc. The power of suggestion really does work. Because before that all I saw it as, was a trip to see an old friend. But now it got worked into my head as something else. So, I've stopped talking about this trip to everyone.

 

Two of my friends are going there for a couple of days also, so that will help because my ex is the ONLY person I know there. The thought of "manipulating the situation" has crossed my mind, but I couldn't do that to him. I just hope his girlfriend is cool and doesn't try anything. She's younger...so...I think I'm more worried about her than anything else.

 

I really do want to be friends with him and would NEVER do anything to jeopardize that. I care about him.

 

And I haven't been sitting around waiting for him; I've been in other relationships, have dated a lot of guys and I live in a different state. We're just friends now and I get that, but that will never change the fact that we're each others ex.

 

Oh, and I know what you mean about when they show up again...it's like they have a sixth sense for that. Every time! It never fails!

[quing]

DragonGirl724,

 

I see you are 21 years old.

Where on earth do you get all this profound insight into how relationships short and long term work and finnish.

 

I am 32, a good looking male and I have been in 1X 4 year 2 X 2 year and one 6 year

 

What I can tell you is when the mist and the clouds of a heavy relationship are lifted the ex can shine in all their full glory once again.

on either side.

 

People take people for granted, familiarity breeds contempt, its human nature and also some people just do not get on.

 

There are many reasons that a relationship can end, it does not mean that it has to be the end though as you cynically suggest.

 

Only yesterday I spoke to some one who has been with his wife for 10 years, they split for 2 months 5 years ago.

 

Its the way it can go. Imagine they took your advice hey?

 

My advice is do not chase, do not contact, and only give 50% of your time to your ex if they contact you.

If they text you don't instantly reply, have some self control and dignity about yourself, give it a few hours at least.

Be friendly and ordinary, show no emotion, and don't talk about the relationship.

Let them worry about that, not you.

 

Keep busy, buy new clothes, do your hair, and get on with your life.

 

It is when you are getting on with your life your ex will start to haunt you.

 

What ever happens you are in control and you will be happy again.

 

What really bugs an ex is if you appear to be over them in a shot.

 

Confidence backbone and self esteem is what you lot need, stop being so damn soppy and needy.

 

Trust me you can fall in love again, whether it is your ex, if you can be bothered, or some one fresh exciting and new.

[DragonGirl724]

pixie, i know how you feel....and i went through the same thing...my ex who i adored at the time told me all this far out terrible stories about his ex gf before me...making me hate her...then when we broke up he was friends w/ her again & left me in the dust. i was hurt initally & confused...asking myself i treated him so good he knew this & she was a skitzo & he finds SOME REASON enough to be cool with her & never talk to ME again...confused??? yea i def was...then i realized...he probably lied about all the evil stories he told me about her. b/c after we broke up he went on telling people I DID ALL THESE CRAZY OFF THE WALL THINGS TO HIM. sometimes ppl make it easier on them by providing a false truth to those who are unaware of the real deal. it kinda settles it in their head that they 'made the right decision to break up'...

 

people are dumb like that i guess....

 

but id suggest stop thinking about it as much as it may provoke constant questioning in your head. youre gonna drive yourself nuts if you allow yourself to keep dwelling on the fact that theyre back together. it makes no sense to you but you are not them & thereforeeee you have NO IDEA whats goin on in their heads & what they talked about & it really makes zero sense in trying to figure it out...b/c you will NEVER know the complete reasoning behind their actions...and in all reality it shouldnt be any of your concern. onto the next thing. keep your head up, he isnt the end of the world for you. thank God for that.

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

quing,

 

im not sure what you are suggesting by posting my age...so i will just disreguard that.

 

you obviously didnt get the gyst of my post...b/c youre tearing it apart saying its cynical & how it doesnt always work "the way i cynically suggested". if you took in what i said i never said exs dont get back together. i know plenty of people who have had successful marriages with their once-"exs" so i dont know where youre coming from...

 

what I stated in this post topic is that IF IT IS FOR REAL IT WILL HAPPEN & NOTHING YOU DO OR DONT DO WILL CHANGE THAT. free will is a gift from God & our feelings are only truly known & understood as we feel them as individuals...so when people sit here trying to jump into their exs brains to "figure stuff out" & see what they "really mean" by what they say, & they over analyze emails and phone conversations & use NC to manipulate or any other method of manipulation it isnt going to work!

 

manipulation creates false feelings. it tricks people into thinking things if they allow it to. if 2 people are meant to work out then they will....on their own time things will just simply work out that way...BUT IN A LOT OF CASES exs dont get back together primarily b/c one falls out of love with the other & they grow & go their separate ways....and THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO CHANGE WHAT SOMEONE TRULY FEELS. if both parties share a mutual love after 6 months, a year 5 yrs down the line FINE! thats great & i know people who that has happened to....but the ones that actually lasted WERE NEVER BRAINWASHED TO LOVE THE OTHER PERSON. it happened naturally!

 

and the control which you talk a lot about at the end of your post isnt important....becoming the 'controlling' half of an ex-relationship is rediculous. in order for a relationship to work out communication is the only way. relationships are a 2 way street & if one person wants to be ARROGANT & CONTROLLING & not answer their exs calls b/c they have a kind of "psshhhh he can wait!" attitude...I DONT THINK ITLL GET VERY FAR. and its a COLD WAY to start a newly rekindled relationship. control is not what love is about. if 2 people get together again its b/c they share a common LOVE & need to talk about it. not b/c one is trying their hardest to be with them again & the other is being a controlling jerk.

 

if the phone rings & its your ex who youd like to speak to...answer it. if you dont care enough to answer it...then dont. *free will people* dont pull the old 'waiting game'. games are for children. you gotta grab life by the balls & act upon things that need to be taken care of. and whatever happens, happens & we just have to accept it, learn from it and move forward.

 

but thats just what i think...

 

-DG724

[pixie102]

DragonGirl, you are so wise. You sound just like this friend of mine from college. Reading your posts make it easier for me because someone else understands and you know what you are talking about.

 

I know I'm a strong person and put myself through this because I know I can handle it. If I didn't think I could handle seeing my ex and his girlfriend, I wouldn't go to Florida to see him. I'm the lucky one because friendship is more important and we've been friends for this long. And I know he values his friendships, so I feel special in that way and don't ever want to change that. Of course, there's the ex-girlfriend feelings that creep up sometimes of remembering how I felt for him and how much in love I was with him. But I've moved on and so has he and we've developed into something much better--friends.

 

And I've grown bored of overanalyzing and thinking about every little thing, so that makes it easier too! What's meant to be, will be.

[DragonGirl724]

pixie,

 

good for you for accepting the reality of everything & being a bigger person & not acting out of line b/c he is back with his ex. i tell a lot of people here that you learn the most about who you TRULY are when you are going through difficult times. and it seems like you have a great sense of character & you cherish his special friendship despite him having a GF. props to you, many can & should learn from your experience. i wish you a ton of fun & good times in Florida and keep thinking the way you are. life's too short to worry about an ex & heck, to be honest sometimes its hard enough thinking for YOURSELF, let alone thinking for 2 people. so take a deep breath & exhale...letting out all the ex drama & turmoil of your past with this guy & start anew. im sure youre going to be just fine, youre more than on your way already. you have the right mind set. so keep it up & soon enough youll find a great guy to put the wind back in your sails. but until then enjoy the single life. it really isnt as bad as some make it out to be.

 

hope the weather cooperates with you while in the "sunshine state". & you should get a great tan while youre there! 8) not a bad deal.

 

take care,

-DG724

[ocrob]

Pretty insightful for a youngster. : ) Just joking and making myself feel old, but you are very right. I must admit that the NC thing is kind of empowering and feels pretty good. I am now hoping she does not contact me.

[Viper62382]

good thread, up top

[melstapurple]

all you said is so right but i have a question

 

How do u get the ex to release this everything i do or say he over reads and thinks theres a chance and ive told him straight out where not getting back together. but he doesnt seem to understand once you fall out of live thats it no madder what he trys i cant change my feelings, for eg he asked me the other day if i wanna start again