Can women be trusted with birth control?

[junebug123]

 

There's a wide selection of condoms available that are pretty interesting: ribbed, spirals, heating, cooling, vibrating, climax control, etc. Buy a few packs, and tell her that you want to try them out, just for fun.

 

 

I've tried condoms with many different partners and on many occasions, it rarely does anything for me unless the girl is like exemtremly tight and this is rarely the case. I just dont enjoy using them and many times i wont even have intercourse with women in the bedroom if i'm forced to use them. I'll probably do oral or convince them that i am not comfortable using them. It's sort of a problem.

 

 

And honestly, if you had any real feelings for this girl, you wouldn't have been interested in the other girl, anyway.

 

 

I wasn't serious about this girl, and this is why i sort of did this in the hopes of distancing myself. Now, i just feel guilty and sorry that i'm taking her for granted and this has re-sparked my interest.

 

Well, i feel a lot more relaxed now. In a few months if this girl isn't pregnant or i haven't contracted an std; I will probably be looking back at this thread and think twice before i have unprotected sex with someone who i dont trust or am not serious about.

[csdude55]

I've tried condoms with many different partners and on many occasions, it rarely does anything for me unless the girl is like exemtremly tight and this is rarely the case. I just dont enjoy using them and many times i wont even have intercourse with women in the bedroom if i'm forced to use them. I'll probably do oral or convince them that i am not comfortable using them. It's sort of a problem.

 

I totally get that, I have problems with condoms, too, due to their size. But we're just talking about a few times while you're waiting for test results, right? Surely you can suck it up for week or two for a girl that you're starting to get serious about. It's either that or tell her the truth... which probably won't end well.

 

I mean, let's say you just try to go down on her, without reciprocation. The first time she might think is a treat, but by the 2nd or 3rd time she's going to be pretty insistent that you do more. I seriously doubt that you tell her the truth at that point, so you're just putting yourself in a position to possibly transfer an STD to her.

 

 

I wasn't serious about this girl, and this is why i sort of did this in the hopes of distancing myself. Now, i just feel guilty and sorry that i'm taking her for granted and this has re-sparked my interest.

 

I can understand that. FWIW, it's not exactly a mature thing to do, but I still understand trying to get over one girl by hooking up with another.

 

I don't know that you're asking advice on this part of the relationship, or just clarifying your position. Technically speaking, we all know that the "right" thing to do is tell the truth, and let her decide whether she wants to move forward with the relationship. That way, you're both on equal footing.

 

But we both know that's not practical, and not going to happen. You did it, it's over, you feel bad about it, and you're not going to risk losing a relationship over a regretful mistake.

 

If not for the concern of an STD, I'd lean towards pretending it never happened. But the STD is a pretty big concern, and you're a truly bad person if you would risk giving her something serious (like HIV, Hepatitis, or Syphilis) just because you don't like condoms.

[Batya33]

It depends what you like better -condoms or STDs/being a daddy/child support payments.

[Iggles]

I've tried condoms with many different partners and on many occasions, it rarely does anything for me unless the girl is like exemtremly tight and this is rarely the case. I just dont enjoy using them and many times i wont even have intercourse with women in the bedroom if i'm forced to use them. I'll probably do oral or convince them that i am not comfortable using them. It's sort of a problem.

 

Granted, I am not a dude but this sounds like an excuse. If condoms all around dampened sex to the point men got no satisfaction I hardly believe the product would still be in use. As it stands modern condoms date back to the 1700s or so..

 

Bottom line, there are condoms of various sizes, materials/compositions, and textures. There should be at least one type out there that you can use and still find sex enjoyable! Think outside of the box: go to an adult shop, explain your dilemma and ask what unique brands they sell. They may have an inventory more varied than your local drug store. If your prefer not dealing with salespeople, then go on the Internet and find where you can order samples of different size condoms and brands. Or check out the website Condom Depot. They have lots of brands and reviews (Crown Skinless Skin Condoms rated highly and seems to have the features you want, BTW).

 

OP, while going bareback is your first choice, it's risky for your health and for possible pregnancy if you are going to sleep with multiple partners. It's less risky if an sexually exclusive relationship.

[itsallgrand]

 

Well, i feel a lot more relaxed now. In a few months if this girl isn't pregnant or i haven't contracted an std; I will probably be looking back at this thread and think twice before i have unprotected sex with someone who i dont trust or am not serious about.

 

I hope so. That you remember the feeling of dread wondering if this will be the time that something goes wrong. Not so you live in fear but so that exactly as you said - next time push comes to shove and you are there tempted to "ahh whatever, it's not a big deal" you'll think twice. You have been lucky but things can change in the blink of an eye. That you find yourself sitting in a clinic or a doctors office over an STD or a pregnancy you don't feel prepared to handle and didn't see coming.

 

Condoms may not be the first choice for anybody really as far as physical pleasure goes. I don't think there is anyone really who is going "oh yeah, you know what would make this better? condoms." But there is that mental sense of ease knowing you are doing what you can to keep you and your partner safe. And it filters out people who prioritize having sex right that second or their own pleasure over your choice to protect your own body. To me, that's pretty liberating. No sense of worry or dread in the wee corners of ones mind while in bed or after.

 

You really are doing double duty by making sure to use condoms in these situations; before really knowing and trusting someone. First you will cut down the actual physical risks. Two, you won't be sleeping with near the amount of women with a 'whatever happens, happens' attitude towards sex once you insist on covering up. You are virtually selecting the women who are worrisome by only having sex if you can do it without a condom!

[Tinydance]

I know this thread is really about using protection during sex and so on, but since you also began talking about your relationship, may I comment on something I observed? It does not seem to me that you are super serious about this girl. If you were not exclusive, then you should have been allowed to sleep with other women. Yet you don't want to tell her about it because you think you may lose her. So was she under the impression that you were seeing only her? So if it is, you've in fact kind of cheated? Also, if you were trying to move on from her before but now you're scared you'll lose her, sounds like you just wanted to have her there available for you anytime, while you explored other people too. I think maybe you should just leave her be because I don't really think you're that crazy for her if you slept with someone else. And please cover your penis next time if you sleep with a stranger! Mind you I've done that once myself too, but I was really drunk. Thank God I didn't catch anything....