What does "Moved On" mean to you?

[JackJackxD]

I'm interested in what "Moved On" means do different people. I want to know what it feels like when you've truly moved on.

 

Here is a little bit of background story. I was the dumpee from a 2.5 years relationship, and we've broken up for 3 months now. My Ex-GF was my first love, and she meant a lot to me. I've tried asking her for reconciliation recently and was told that she is happy the way she is now, and could only remember the disappointment from the relationship. She said she regretted wasting time on me and would won't open her heart to me again. I've also found out that she already has a crush on someone else (one of our mutual friends). To prevent hurting myself further, I'm now trying desperately to move on (doing No Contact).

 

I have to say, I haven't moved on yet, but here is what I think moving on means at the moment. To me, as a dumpee, I don't feel like moving on means losing all interest or feelings towards your Ex. After all, if you've had a serious relationship with someone, you must've developed a strong connection with them. Plus, falling in love in the first place means that you are still attracted to their features (unless they've changed completely). For me, I don't see myself losing attraction for my Ex-GF any time in the near future. Whenever I think of her, my heart still tingles, but that is covered up quickly with sadness and jealousy of course. I think moving on is accepting that things didn't work out for a reason, and that you have to live life without expectations. No matter what the reason for the break up is, the problem existed. Breaking up means that at least one party decided to give up on the relationship and does not want to try fixing the problems anymore. No relationship is going to work in the long term if only one party tries. However, fixing the problems does not mean that things will work out. Things change over-time, and if it's never meant to be then it's just never going to work out. That is why you have to live without expectations rather than fixing your attention on just one person. I feel like if you've moved on, then you will be able to think logically and consider all your options (plenty of others out there) instead of being emotionally attached to your Ex. "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be." (My Ex actually posted this as a status after I asked her for a second chance)

 

So what does "Moved On" mean to you? How does it feel it? Please give a little bit of background story so it is easier to see things from your point of view.

Thanks!

[Ms Darcy]

I think moving on means you are ready and able to give your heart, your whole heart, to another person in a relationship. The ex isn't even a consideration. The past is distant from you. You are now focused on the future.

[CraigHowes]

Yep i agree with Darcy.

 

I think you just know when you've moved on. The ex doesn't cross your mind much anymore and when they do it doesn't have an effect on you sending you into a downwards spiral.

 

You are content within yourself and happy within yourself. All the feelings of longing, missing the person, processing of the loss and reasoning is gone.

 

Your looking into your future and for pastures new. Basically that chapter is closed and your writing a new one.

 

Now the time scale for this could be a week or years depending on various factors.

[boniver88]

Yep i agree with Darcy.

 

I think you just know when you've moved on. The ex doesn't cross your mind much anymore and when they do it doesn't have an effect on you sending you into a downwards spiral.

 

You are content within yourself and happy within yourself. All the feelings of longing, missing the person, processing of the loss and reasoning is gone.

 

Your looking into your future and for pastures new. Basically that chapter is closed and your writing a new one.

 

Now the time scale for this could be a week or years depending on various factors.

 

this! you can still care but on the other hand you don't really care because their life, decisions they make and generally whatever they do doesn't really affect you, so you don't really think about them. and you don't hold any grudges. it might be oversimplified but when you put a bully from high school or some other person who was mean to you and your ex on the same level you can say you have moved on

[jphcbpa]

Agree with Darcy and I also feel that some people in our life take longer to "get over". These are the times to learn great lessons of letting go, trust, unconditional love ect. I am also of the opinion that you can still have love in your heart for a person and not have a physical rel with them. You can hold the space, allow the pain to increase your hearts capacity for love for all things (other people, kids, family, friends, nature) and potential future loves. As MHOWE shares..heart broken open..

[redswim30]

If you have moved on, to me it means that you have fully accepted that the relationship is over.

 

You have forgiven yourself and the other person. You aren't obsessing about what might have been different.

 

You are ready to live in the present and look forward to the future instead of dwelling on the past.

[sadchick83]

When your life's activities are actioned without regard for your ex.

[janesmiley]

When they contact you and it doesn't affect you anymore.