Should I take in a tenant that is also my son's girlfriend?

[Unreasonable]

So my son's girlfriend is having some troubles as of late. She comes from a family where one of the daughters had her young, and she was raised as a daughter by the grandparent. Her real mom a long way away and feels no responsibility for her. Her "father" has resented having to raise her greatly and kicked her out of the house abruptly, while giving another "real" daughter a 2014 car. She was living with some people who were charging her $300 to room who are also drug addicts. One time she knew she was going to be short on rent since she has variable hours. The person thought she was hiding money and kicked her out. Now she's living with her sister, but that cannot be a permanent situation since she herself is a renter. She's worried she'll have no where to go after that.

 

I feel sorry for her, I think she's been pretty shafted in life. She seems nice enough, and my son vouches for her integrity and he's a pretty good kid and I trust him.

 

It so happens that we also have a spare finished attic with a separate entrance into the house. We are still paying off the house loan for that finishing. It does connect to the main house, and I've been thinking about renting it out to her for the amount of the loan payment, a very reasonable price and less than the $300. This is a total pittance for this area. I would want this to be a legit tenant situation and not an informal cohabitation with my son, who lives 2 floors below. Aside from the norms like not trashing the place, loud noise, petc, etc., additional dealbreakers would be having a guest sleeping over regularly (including my son), smoking, alcohol outside of her room, and illegal drugs. I have 3 other children in the house and I am not comfortable with that.

 

I would not freak out if she was late on rent, but it would bother me if it she blew it off consistently. The room does connect to the main house from the inside and at the very least she would need to enter to use the bathroom. As long as she cleaned up after herself I would be willing to let her use our kitchen and washer/dryer. Note: I am not used to having other people in the house, so I really don't know how I'm going to react to this.

 

Now, here's the part that's most relevant to this: The relationship she has my son does not make this a typical tenant situation. Does anyone have any experience with this, and, if so, how did it go?

[oneheart]

I am actually a landlord, i think the better situation would be take her in and have your son live with her and they both pay rent, or she stays with your son until she finds her own place.

 

Its going to create a lot of issues if you dont want him staying over, its really unlikely that it will last, he will be over there, and then you're going to have to either accept it or kick her out and that will cause a lot of problems between you, your son, and their relationship.

[mhowe]

I don't think you should let her move in --- what happens when he breaks up with her and wants to date someone else.

What happens if she can't pay rent.

What happens if you want to get rid of her and she has no money to move.

 

Way too many potential complications.

[compwhiz345]

Under her circumstances, I would consider letting her stay for a probationary period to see how it works out, like 3 months tops. I agree with oneheart that having them rent together is a better option than hearing one of them trying to sneak into each other's room to see one another in the middle of the night. Then you will really have a problem, because if it happens, you're always going to have to wonder if the other children will accidentally walk in on both of them together, regardless of which room it is.

[Unreasonable]

Thanks for the replies so far.

 

The 3 month probationary period sounds good. Is this an official "in writing" thing? Or she just stays for 3 months and pays under the table? I've not heard of this for rental agreements.

 

Yeah I'm mainly asking about weirdness if/when they break up. I don't think that's a valid clause to put in a rental agreement and even if it was I wouldn't want her to feel forced to stay in the relationship.

 

As far as them sleeping together at night, I'm not too worried about that. My son has strict rules as far a curfew goes and has not violated them in over a year.

 

I know they're having sex, and really don't have a problem with it, and I'm not gonna say he can't go over there during the day. They both have separate keyed locks so I'm not that concerned about people accidentally walking in on them.

 

The whole rental agreement thing is mainly for appearances which is why I want it to be "official." The money will be a nice bonus (plus my son is a flat broke college student and couldn't pay joint rent if he wanted to). My parents are very religious and I want to be able to legitimately say she's a tenant and not just living with my son.

[reinventmyself]

""As far as them sleeping together at night, I'm not too worried about that. My son has strict rules as far a curfew goes and has not violated them in over a year""

 

I have 2 young adult sons and if I may say so, they are angels. .OK, I am biased but they are young men, afterall.

 

You are aware that they are having sex and now the temptation is under the same roof?

I think you are setting yourself up for frustration.

 

However, I commend you for wanting to help the girl. . Just be realistic about your expectations because this feels like an expectation that is set up to fail. Or at the very least be tested beyond belief. .

[oneheart]

Well, i think you should help her, it might work out it might not, ive helped people with not requiring first last and security, ive lowered rent for people, not charge a late fee etc. Its nice to help someone, i think you should sit down with both of them and discuss things.

[mhowe]

A friend of mine asked if he could rent the upstairs bedroom at my house because he wanted to be able to have his two children stay over and be in the same school district, etc.

He was divorced....and said he just needed it for 9 months.

 

He stayed almost 5 years and while the first few were fine (though I had to remind him about rent), it didn't end well. I had to threaten to evict him (which did nothing) and get his family involved (his sister, his mother). He had become an alcoholic and lost his job. And at that --- it tooks months.

 

Beware ---

[itsallgrand]

I think it is a bad idea all around.

 

If you genuinely wish to help her, there are others ways you can. If she is open to that help.

 

I think you would do her more in the long run in helping to show her that you trust in her abilities, and are there to support her in developing her independence. She doesn't really have that now, and I think you could (without necessarily intending to) set up a dependence type situation where she starts to rely too much on bfs and 'special allowances' in life.

 

That is merely my opinion. YOu could help her in her search for a better job, in schooling, in finding an affordable place. But she does need to learn, sooner or later, that it doesn't matter if she is short on money because her hours are variable - rent, food, bills, responsibilities, are still there to paid.

[compwhiz345]

I would absolutely make her sign rental contract just in case your son and her have a falling out and things get damaged, or she skips out on the rent. Even if your son vouches for her, you still want something legally biding just in case.

 

Check your Inbox, I sent some links to some sample rental agreement documents. Let me know if you got them.

[Unreasonable]

Thanks compwhiz345!

[HeartGoesOn]

Some of the things to consider would be, her age/your sons age, is she employed, have her own transportation? Of course it's your call, but I doubt it will be a bed of roses, so to speak.

[Fudgie]

Well, it's a bit tricky. Here is my idea: I think it would be okay for you to rent to her if you made her sign a rental agreement but honestly, I wouldn't put her on a lease, do month to month, and have it so she can leave/get kicked out with a month's notice. That way, if your son and her break up, she could get out quickly.

[catfeeder]

Putting someone on life support is never the problem--the problem is taking them off.

 

Even if you put a 3 month contract into place, what happens if she's unable to leave when you want her out?

 

I'd rather subsidize her in a boarding house or roommate situation outside of the home.