rainydays1 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 I feel no contact is impossible! I keep putting myself out there and saying a couple things here and there to her...she hasn't told me to stop or block me b/c she'll respond very short every now and then. I'd rather her tell me to leave her alone or never respond, I think that would make it easier. I feel i'm still waiting for closure or the real reasons behind the break up Link to comment
Perfect Life Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 I am in the same boat, my ex stopped replying to my messages two days ago. I know he's reading them, but no reply. It's not easy. I hate NC when you are so used to talking to them all the time. But its not called a break up for nothing, right? Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted October 3, 2014 Author Share Posted October 3, 2014 ya but i'm going on 6 weeks and she already has a new boyfriend! I just feel we had a deeper connection and things got so complicated where she thinks the best option was to break up. I feel she wants to explore whats out there but eventually she'll realize what she passed up with me. but trust me, it gets easier. i'm living my life to the fullest just miss a tiny part of my heart Link to comment
Perfect Life Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 Hope is all one's got after the breakup. I still have it and I don't want to. I feel like once I have no hope, I'll be forced to move on. For some of us, Love is a deeper connection than for others. I wish you good luck OP, I know how rough it is, but look how long you've made it so far! Cant wait to get to that ok feeling again Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted October 3, 2014 Author Share Posted October 3, 2014 u sound very sweet. ur gonna be ok. Link to comment
CraigHowes Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 Contacting her is self torture and not good for your healing. No one is forcing you to reach out to her, your only doing this to yourself. The only reason she is responding is to be polite and courteous to you. You'll never get the answers you want from her as your not her and can't see inside her head. She may not even be able to articulate the answers your looking forward to. Let's be honest whatever she told you wouldn't make you feel any better anyway. Closure comes within not from her, it's up to you to look inside and evaluate The relationship logically see where it went wrong and work on it for next time if required. You mention she is already in another relationship break ups don't happen over night my friend they usually take months of planning and withdrawal. She is a free spirit and can do whatever she wants. What she is doing right now shouldn't concern you as she isn't a part of your life anymore and you can't control that. What you can control though is you! It's time to stand up for yourself and have some dignity and self respect to go no I deserve better than this. I deserve someone who wants me and doesn't run off to another man. Freedom comes when you let go of what no longer serves you. She is no longer serving you or enriching your life so block her number delete social media everything and be free. You'll see it's liberating in time. Take care and put yourself and your wellbeing before anyone else's. Link to comment
Clinton Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 Mister Howes is bang on. Heed his advice. Link to comment
uniqueme Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 It's going to be tough but you've got to hang in there. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 . . you are putting all the responsibility for your own emotional wellbeing on her and it's not her job. It's yours. Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 awesome advice! very honest and to the point. I need to hear this stuff. thank you Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 yep, I was doing "ok" but now b/c i'm back to spilling my guts to her and getting very subtle messages back i'm right back to square one. I really agree no contact is the way to be but it's very hard. i'm doing ALL the wrong things ignoring everyones advice. like I checked her fb and she changed her pic to vacation pic we went on and so part of me wonders "is she thinking of me?" ....is what i'm saying getting to her and breaking down her wall? i'm giving myself false hope. Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 I just had a break through....part of my issue with her was her lack of emotion and attention. I just realized she's being the same way now after the break up. she's making me miserable by not responding etc but of course that's what she'll do. it's who she is and it's what I didn't like! duhhh. why would I expect her to change now. I need to realize i'm better off without her and need to let it go Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 She has another boyfriend. That alone is a strong message that she's not coming back and you should move on. By staying in touch and keep contacting her, all you do is draw out the pain for yourself. WHY? What for? It's clearly over (for her), so putting yourself through pain/hurt everyday is pointless. Learn to accept that it's over. She's moved on and so should you. Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 BUT...u do always hear those stories of people who break up, then someone dates someone new for a bit then realize they miss their ex. I mean this guy lives far away out of state and is a scrubby rock band guy. how real can it be? all I can do is live my life and let it go and whatever is meant to be will be. Link to comment
CraigHowes Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 So you want to live your life on what ifs? Block her on fb, delete her number and everything that relates to her it's the only way. You can't put your life on hold for something that isn't real. Life is far too short to wait around for something that most likely won't happen. Open your eyes and see the bigger picture everyone in this world has exs and we're ok now, you will be too but it starts with acceptance and letting go. If you don't then you'll just go on a merry go round of madness going ooo she changed her profile pic what's that mean, ooo she posted a status that might relate to me, it's breadcrumbs and meaningless. Do you want to live your life by some facebook status? I don't think you do, your brain is craving any sort of contact or breadcrumb as it's been ripped apart from something it had a deep connection with. It won't start to rewire itself until you accept the fact that she owes you nothing and is gone. She is with someone else that's all that matters here, why hold out for someone who is living her life and has moved on. He could be an alien and still date him it makes no different that's her choice and she's a free spirit in this world to do whatever she wants. It's time for you to break the attachment and be kind to yourself, she's not doing anything to you she can't, your doing this to yourself. Breathe easy and repair your damaged soul in time you'll be a better person for it. Link to comment
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