Why would he do this, and should I do anything?

[Amp33]

There's a guy I started seeing about three months ago.. we hit it off really well but he didn't want a relationship because he was still really hung up on his ex who lives in Korea. We still continued to see each other regularly because we got along sooo well. We fell for each other but he still wanted his ex back. He's going to Korea this month to see her, and so he said we shouldn't see each other anymore and probably not talk as much. I said that was fine and I understood. Yet he kept talking to me after he said we shouldn't. I told him he needs to make up his mind because I was getting confused, so he stopped talking to me and I also just noticed he deleted me on Facebook.. I'm so hurt.. So so hurt.. I know romantically he wasn't ready but he became one of my best friends. Should I just leave it alone, would asking him about why he deleted me going to start something bad? Wow I can't even comprehend how hurt I feel by this..

[Ms Darcy]

I think you need to examine why your self-esteem is so low that you would pursue things with a man who said he didn't want a relationship. I can't even understand why you would stick around knowing he's hung up on his ex in Korea. I am dumbfounded that you are still in the picture when he said he was going to see his ex. And I'm speechless as you continued talking to him.

 

Girl, you must be very young. In life, an adult person needs to have boundaries and enforce them. You have few and enforce less.

[ParisPaulette]

When a guy tells you they don't want a relationship with you believe them. You went into it with your eyes open since he was fully honest with you about not being over his ex and still hung up on her. In the end, he was lonely and liked talking to you, but he still chose the woman he told you he was hung up on. Guys who are into you won't talk about another woman with you and how much they want her, they'll be saying and showing that to you. When a guy talks to you about another woman he has feelings for it's always, always, always that you have been friend-zoned and you just get to be their buddy/sounding board to gather intel on how the female mind words, so they can (in their minds) hopefully make a dent in wooing the woman they are pining for.

 

You can feel hurt, but the fact is you ignored his very clear communication that he wasn't available for a relationship. Your only response in the future if a guy tells you this should be a, "Well, I want a relationship right now, so I can see this isn't going to work out. I suggest you not be on dating sites, but whatever. I'm out of here." And then you block and delete them and move on to the guy who's not either trying to find someone to just pass time with or make his ex jealous, but rather someone who wants a relationship just as much as you do.

 

This guy clearly didn't and didn't from the get-go.

[SooSad33]

What he did by getting involved with you was wrong and he's good to finally admit it. he's not ready.

He's confused by a lot right now. Missing his Ex, etc. He is NOT able to give you what you're wanting. A proper, healthy relationship.

He needs to be able to have time to grieve his loss. Deal with himself for a good few months, mentally & emotionally.

 

He's removed you from his FB, which is probably best so you can BOTH let this go now. It is far from easy trying to be a 'friend' with an Ex. Until those 'feelings' are gone.

 

Best, respect he's got much to deal with with and can't give to you any longer. Yes, it hurts... sorry for your pains.

[ssj5goghan]

As tough as it is, you need to move on.

 

You don't want to be the "other" girl. When a guy is still hung up on an ex, that should raise a red flag. The fact that he went to visit her should upset you! You don't want a guy who won't make you number one. Also, deleting you as a friend is also a sign from him that he isn't making you his number one. This guy is just wrong for you, and it'd be healthy for you to move on from him. This has everything to do with him and his problems, and nothing to do with you. Just keep looking forward. good luck!

[Sportster2005]

You forced his hand and he played his cards.

 

Your best move is to forget him and move on. No good will come from talking to, or keeping in touch with this guy.

[HeartGoesOn]

Refusing to listen has its consequences. Learn the lesson, and take it with you.

[missmarple]

The moment someone tells you they're not over their ex is the moment you need to say goodbye and good luck. You were actually lucky that he did tell you..many people don't and then they drop a bomb on you....in your case, whatever happened next was 100% your responsibility. You chose to continue seeing him and fall for him. Yes, it was your choice, it didn't just happen. I'm sorry that he, eventually, chose his ex but the writing had been on the wall from the beginning. The only thing you can do now is try to move on and, as some other poster said, take this lesson with you.