why did he pick her over me?

[wai]

So there is this guy i like very much and we used to talk pretty much everyday.

 

When we started talking, he was in Japan and then he went back to our home country. He has not been very consistent since then with the phone calls and texts. I got upset over it but I told him just once that it upset me. He changed for a little bit then back to the same way he was before. So i just let it go.

 

We've never met outside, we were planning to see in September when i go back to my home country but then I got a job and i cant go back as long as I planned to. I told him about it and he said may be we should see in December when I can take longer vacation. I was not very happy that he wasn't very enthusiastic about seeing me like he used to. so i decided to stopped talking to him. He texted me 3 times. first he said he misses me... but then.... just a "hey". I never responded.

 

so we didn't speak for about 2 weeks and then out of no where he got a girlfriend who i kinda know and on my Facebook. He wrote very cheesy stuff on her wall and he post their pics together. She does the same thing too. They say i love you and i miss you already after 2 weeks of dating.

 

Im not being mean but this is how i really see her. She's not good looking, about a 3 out of 10. She got a very big mouth and cusses people out on Facebook statuses. very dramatic. post Facebook status every 2 seconds.

 

What i dong understand is, what is so unlikeable about me that he picked a girl less attractive with lower education, background and all. I consider myself as a kind helpful person. I go above and beyond for the people i love and care. But what make him pick her over me?

[ubasti]

We've all been through it. Keep your head up and don't try and put yourself down. He obviously wasn't the one and that's OK. Something better will come along.

[Ms Darcy]

Without knowing you and the girl, we can't say "why" but just that he does. He simply does find something more desirable in her than you. Ir's pointless for you to worry about why.

 

Don't forget you stopped talking to the guy because he wasn't responding to you with enthusiasm so you can't be surprised he moved on.

[IAmFCA]

When I was caught in a pattern of dating unhealthy men, they tended to choose lesser-quality women over me. I like to think that the other women were a better match, despite me having better character etc. In fact, one man told me so, my exH.

 

This Era of my life reminds me that it really is about matching, not about ranking.

 

I hope this helps.

[Ms Darcy]

When I was caught in a pattern of dating unhealthy men, they tended to choose lesser-quality women over me. I like to think that the other women were a better match, despite me having better character etc. In fact, one man told me so, my exH.

 

This Era of my life reminds me that it really is about matching, not about ranking.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Don't you think that's a bit of a contradiction? On the one hand saying they choose a lesser quality of woman over you yet on the other hand saying it's about matching and not ranking?

 

I'm not getting on you per se. I just think we are us and while we know our own hearts and minds we don't know the other girls'. I just don't want to align the idea of "matching" with picking a girl of lesser quality. She's different. That's all.

[missmarple]

First of all, he didn't pick her over you. First you stopped talking to him and then he got with the other girl...and you have no idea what their relationship is really like..you only know what you see on f/b.

Oh, and it saddens me when I see women ranking other women...everyone is different and beauty is in the eye of the beholder...as for her character, again, you only know what you see on f/b.

Stop thinking about this guy and move on...and stop checking his f/b.

[catfeeder]

But what make him pick her over me?

 

Proximity.

 

He can either spend his time with someone who's near him, or he can stay lonely with a pen pal until December.

 

This is not about who is 'better,' it's about who is there. This guy wasn't ready for a committed long-distance relationship. That doesn't speak badly of you, it speaks of his own limitations.

 

Head high.

[IAmFCA]

Yes, it is a contradiction. It was described this way to me, by two different men... "you have the values, the intellect, you're a great mom... " and then the "I just need a companion right now", or "I need to be with someone more controlling." In both cases, I wasn't their most compatible fit, and, particularly in one case, he acknowledged accepting other traits for which had less respect. So HE ranked in terms of quality, but chose her anyway.

 

Don't you think that's a bit of a contradiction? On the one hand saying they choose a lesser quality of woman over you yet on the other hand saying it's about matching and not ranking?

 

I'm not getting on you per se. I just think we are us and while we know our own hearts and minds we don't know the other girls'. I just don't want to align the idea of "matching" with picking a girl of lesser quality. She's different. That's all.