Lolitaaa Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Just wanted to share that it is possible to re-kindle with an ex, even if a lot of people think it's not or it's not healthy ... The thing is you need to talk your problems out, start a new Relationship, don't go back to he old one, and if there's love, it's all posible Me and my ex have been talking for 5 days non stop about what happened and what broke us. There was laughing, crying, joy and sadness involved ... We agreed on starting over, leave the old Relationship behind us, and we've been happier then before So YES, it happens ... We've been apart for 1 month and it changed our lives. Sometimes break ups do bring positivity into our lives ... It did for me, because now I know what I have and not to take it for granted. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 You can't leave the old relationship behind because you are the same people. Unless there has been a LOT of personal change (and ideally counseling), you'll have a bit of a honeymoon period, then it will implode again if you are doing the same behavior you did before. As I recall, this ex is someone who constantly blows hot and cold, plays a push pull game with you, either says he loves you or says he wants 'space' and runs off again. So right now you are not remembering the bad times and need to really talk to him a lot about what caused your problems before, and have a concrete action plan on what you will do to prevent that happening again. If you don't, this will be the same old round 3 or 4 or 5 of the same old thing, and it won't be long before he is asking for space again and treating you coldly. Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 I can tell you there has been a lot of personal change, as well from my side as his side .. The break up made me find myself back, I lost myself and was involved with wrong people, nightscene, bad influences, ect ... I found my spiritual self back, and from his side it became Crystal clear to him what I mean to him. We agreed on changing the lives we had and start a new fresh start without all those influences from the outside which have messed up a lot for us. His decision was very impulsive, I went into no contact, not even dreaming of him wanting to give it another shot. After 5 days of talking I think we pretty much know this is a new start. Link to comment
autumnsun Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Lavenderdove is right. You haven't had any time to do real reflection and to fix whatever wounds you both have that contributed to this breakdown. This guy has been a jerk to you, according to many posts, and you think a month will change something? You are living in a land of rose colored glasses. I hope it works out, but I highly doubt it will the way you want it to. Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Lavenderdove is right. You haven't had any time to do real reflection and to fix whatever wounds you both have that contributed to this breakdown. This guy has been a jerk to you, according to many posts, and you think a month will change something? You are living in a land of rose colored glasses. I hope it works out, but I highly doubt it will the way you want it to. I didn't know the real reasons for the break up, it was so impulsive that we never spoke again after that ... I thought he left me for someone else, which now I know wasn't the case, he just was really stressed out and I wasn't myself anymore after the miscarriage ... He couldn't take it anymore, and just thought that breaking things off would help him, but he realized that he really loves me. I had plenty of time to think ... Things couldn't go on the way they were, and now I am working on making it work. Link to comment
Kuala Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Happy for you lolitaaa.. Goodluck to you! Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Nice you're feeling this way Come back in another 6 months ( Not a month) and let us know how it's all going, though. That's what we'd like to see. Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 Nice you're feeling this way Come back in another 6 months ( Not a month) and let us know how it's all going, though. That's what we'd like to see. @SooSad33: I most definatelly WILL Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 Happy for you lolitaaa.. Goodluck to you! Thank you Kuala Sweet of you. Link to comment
AngryRedTurtle Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 How long were you in no contact for? I need some inspiration. Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 How long were you in no contact for? I need some inspiration. 28 days, he initiated before but I never reacted ... He actually called me and was crying explaining what happened ... What happened with you ? Link to comment
AngryRedTurtle Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 How long before he contacted you? But pretty much the same as you no luck so far though. It's been a week of no contact and I haven't heard a thing from him. He's stressed about a new baby on the way, so I think that's what led him to break things off so abruptly Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 How long before he contacted you? But pretty much the same as you no luck so far though. It's been a week of no contact and I haven't heard a thing from him. He's stressed about a new baby on the way, so I think that's what led him to break things off so abruptly He tried contact after 10 days with a written letter, but I ignored all his efforts for 28 days before I answered, a week later he called me crying ... Men sometimes need time, just stay in NC and try focusing on you for now. Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 He tried contact after 10 days with a written letter, but I ignored all his efforts for 28 days before I answered, a week later he called me crying ... Men sometimes need time, just stay in NC and try focusing on you for now. What if my ex is talking to another guy she's interested in already? It hasn't been long of an NC period but I'm using this time to focus on myself like you said going to the gym, hanging out with friends, doing what I usually do plus want to try new hobbies, etc. I'm bettering myself, trying not to look back but of course easier said than done. So what's your suggestion? Keep doing what I'm doing? Idk if she'll ever contact me.. I just need hope or at least advice because you have a great outcome and I hope to achieve that as well! Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 What if my ex is talking to another guy she's interested in already? It hasn't been long of an NC period but I'm using this time to focus on myself like you said going to the gym, hanging out with friends, doing what I usually do plus want to try new hobbies, etc. I'm bettering myself, trying not to look back but of course easier said than done. So what's your suggestion? Keep doing what I'm doing? Idk if she'll ever contact me.. I just need hope or at least advice because you have a great outcome and I hope to achieve that as well! Like I already said, keep busy, you're doing fine and IGNORE any attempts of contact for a month (Ok I did 28 days, it's a short month) But you're the one that matters now, give her time to miss you, she wanted life without you, let her experience her that .... Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Like I already said, keep busy, you're doing fine and IGNORE any attempts of contact for a month (Ok I did 28 days, it's a short month) But you're the one that matters now, give her time to miss you, she wanted life without you, let her experience her that .... I know I know, I'm doing NC. It's just I'm confused on whether or not I should contact her in a month or two, or wait however long til she contacts me. I'm glad yours worked out, really am. I hope to have the same results.. Link to comment
Lolitaaa Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 I know I know, I'm doing NC. It's just I'm confused on whether or not I should contact her in a month or two, or wait however long til she contacts me. I'm glad yours worked out, really am. I hope to have the same results.. If you're the dumpee, stay in NC until she reaches out, if she doesn't, just move on. It's not Worth your time then. If my ex wouldn't have contacted me I would never have contacted him in a million years. Link to comment
onelifeonelove Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 If you're the dumpee, stay in NC until she reaches out, if she doesn't, just move on. It's not Worth your time then. If my ex wouldn't have contacted me I would never have contacted him in a million years. I was thinking about doing that, and I most likely will. She's on the rebound but that ain't gonna last lol. Thanks for the advice and thanks for sharing your story, you've helped a lot Link to comment
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