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Excellent Freakonomics Podcast on Online Dating, & Having the Best Profile!

tattoobunnie

By tattoobunnie
in Dating Advice

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SoulTaker Collaborator

SoulTaker

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Thanks for sharing! It got me thinking about the image I'm projecting with my profile in terms of attracting the people I'm looking for, and just went and rewrote/tweaked a few things!

 

The image you project is with your pics (don't ever forget that). Men view profiles mainly to see if there is any craziness in them, or red flags (e.g. wanting to have lunch in Spain).

 

Anyone can copy a profile from a website, another online person,... and use it for themselves (which they do).

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notalady Mentor

notalady

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My pics are pretty alright I think. The main picture is of me out at dinner, a bit more dressed up but not overly, other ones include me in front of a waterfall and one at the glacier, to indicate that I have a life and like to travel I avoid putting on selfies.

 

I didn't copy anything though, just tweaked the things I tell about myself. Maybe I should send you a link to my profile to critique haha

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SoulTaker Collaborator

SoulTaker

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My pics are pretty alright I think. The main picture is of me out at dinner, a bit more dressed up but not overly, other ones include me in front of a waterfall and one at the glacier, to indicate that I have a life and like to travel I avoid putting on selfies.

 

I didn't copy anything though, just tweaked the things I tell about myself. Maybe I should send you a link to my profile to critique haha

 

You don't need any assistance. You have your act together. In general, the profile is over-rated. For the most part, men do the searching. A normal search in my area could result in 700+ profiles. No way I'm going to read 700 profiles. I'll start with the pics first, and then read the profiles of those I'm interested in.

 

Be careful with the travel pics. It might indicate a person whose main goal is to find a travel partner. I'm leery of those types (don't want someone who's only happy when they're travelling).

 

BTW - I like full-body selfies because they're recent, and shows someone in a more natural setting. There's no telling which year those vacation shots were taken.

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notalady Mentor

notalady

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You don't need any assistance. You have your act together. In general, the profile is over-rated. For the most part, men do the searching. A normal search in my area could result in 700+ profiles. No way I'm going to read 700 profiles. I'll start with the pics first, and then read the profiles of those I'm interested in.

 

Be careful with the travel pics. It might indicate a person whose main goal is to find a travel partner. I'm leery of those types (don't want someone who's only happy when they're travelling).

 

BTW - I like full-body selfies because they're recent, and shows someone in a more natural setting. There's no telling which year those vacation shots were taken.

 

Haha thanks for the vote of confidence. I agree, I too choose to go into a guy's profile and read more only if I find the picture appealing, and what I find is most guys are not good at picking complimentary profile pictures! Especially when I meet some of them and they look way better in person.

 

For this purpose I picked a picture that will show up well and looks good in the relatively small thumbnail that appears in search results, haha.. Unfortunately I don't have a full body mirror and I've been told by my guy friends I suck at taking selfies and look better in my natural photos, oh well! I'm actually guilty for using photos a couple years old, because I really haven't taken any decent photos more recently. But on the upside, having that Asian gene means I look pretty much exactly the same as I was few years ago, aka look like I'm about 18 lol..

 

I agree about the travelling thing, I notice a lot of people put that in their profile, though a lot of them just seem to put it in to make themselves sound interesting. I've deleted that bit in mine that talks about enjoy travelling, because frankly, who doesn't? It didn't add much value to describing who I am.

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  • 2 weeks later...
notalady Mentor

notalady

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I'm happy to report, after tweaking my profile, by toning down on the fun, extrovert side and up the intellectual and introvert aspect of myself, I noticed an increase in contacts by/responses from quality men that I may be interested in (well educated, intelligent, good jobs, seem like nice decent people and looking for long term relationships), which kinda makes sense. When I emphasized too much on the fun stuff, I attracted more guys looking for something short term, because they want someone fun. By toning that down, I've hopefully reduced my appeal to those guys haha..

 

Thanks again for sharing the podcast, it helped a lot

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John John Proficient

John John

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Ooooh online dating...how I love and hate thee!!!

 

I have to read this podcast at some point, if only for sh*ts and giggles. Right now I'm only on OKC and POF, solely for hookups (yes, MCJD is a classy guy) since I'm not wanting a relationship these days (need to take care of some sh*t first). However, I will say that when I was on Match and eHarmony for actual relationships, my profiles there were much different. My profiles on OKC and POF are a tad outrageous, and that is to attract FWB-like situations.

 

As we say in marketing, you have know your target audience!

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notalady Mentor

notalady

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Ooooh online dating...how I love and hate thee!!!

 

I have to read this podcast at some point, if only for sh*ts and giggles. Right now I'm only on OKC and POF, solely for hookups (yes, MCJD is a classy guy) since I'm not wanting a relationship these days (need to take care of some sh*t first). However, I will say that when I was on Match and eHarmony for actual relationships, my profiles there were much different. My profiles on OKC and POF are a tad outrageous, and that is to attract FWB-like situations.

 

As we say in marketing, you have know your target audience!

 

Haha I'm curious, outrageous in what way?

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John John Proficient

John John

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Haha I'm curious, outrageous in what way?

 

LOL I basically brag about how awesome I am. I'm pretty confident, but not conceited, but I cannot tell you how many emails I get from girls saying something to the effect of "you're a jerk (which I'm totally not) but you turn me on" or "I like your confidence!"

 

My "legit dating" profiles are much more genuine and heartfelt. Closer to who I actually am as a person. I also tend to act a bit differently on FWB "dates" versus real dates lol.

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Rosti87 Contributor

Rosti87

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LOL I basically brag about how awesome I am. I'm pretty confident, but not conceited, but I cannot tell you how many emails I get from girls saying something to the effect of "you're a jerk (which I'm totally not) but you turn me on" or "I like your confidence!"

 

My "legit dating" profiles are much more genuine and heartfelt. Closer to who I actually am as a person. I also tend to act a bit differently on FWB "dates" versus real dates lol.

You certainly have a system going there. If I should ever get out there and date again I should hire you as a coach.

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Blue Spiral Collaborator

Blue Spiral

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LOL I basically brag about how awesome I am. I'm pretty confident, but not conceited, but I cannot tell you how many emails I get from girls saying something to the effect of "you're a jerk (which I'm totally not) but you turn me on" or "I like your confidence!"

 

Let me show you my "eTrade baby" shocked face.

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notalady Mentor

notalady

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I thought that viewing relationships in a coldly economical way as a bad thing...

 

The podcast is not talking about relationships, it's talking about dating, and more specifically about online dating, and at a high level, touches on how to make your profile attract the right people (your target audience), while remaining true to yourself of course.

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  • 3 weeks later...
PaintWithLight Apprentice

PaintWithLight

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Be careful with the travel pics. It might indicate a person whose main goal is to find a travel partner. I'm leery of those types (don't want someone who's only happy when they're travelling).

 

BTW - I like full-body selfies because they're recent, and shows someone in a more natural setting. There's no telling which year those vacation shots were taken.

 

I agree. No telling when the vacay photos were taken or who was behind the camera. When I see a profile of an attractive girl of modest means with a profile full of stunning vacation photos, it brings to mind the question on how she managed to fund all these trips? I mean, in some photos, the setting is clearly romantic and you can almost see the shadow of the poor guy who is being asked to document her awesome life.

 

A woman I know requests an upscale vacation together very early in her courtship with a new boyfriend. Even if the guy ponies up, there is no assurance that the relationship will grow. What is guaranteed is that in the end, she ends up well traveled with a slew of exotic vacation photos (bikini at the beachfront resort) that were obviously taken by an ex-boyfriend. She then uses those interesting photos with her dating profile to recruit the next guy....

 

I am not a big fan of selfies but at least a selfie is candid enough to be just her on the trip. A photo taken from accross the room obviously in a hotel room or lobby may be a lovely photo but for me, it raises more negatives than positives.

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SoulTaker Collaborator

SoulTaker

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That's hilarious, yet true. I had one woman contact me, and in viewing her profile, came accross a beach pic of her with some guy holding on to her (you can see the guy's arm around her, along with part of his body). I mentioned it to her and she apologized for not doing a good job in cropping the picture.

 

She had no clue that when men look at that pic, they're not thinking of her, but wondering who's the man that she's with.

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notalady Mentor

notalady

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That's an interesting view, how do you know they are of modest means (is it from what they say they do for a job?), and how do you know some of the photos were clearly taken by an ex bf?

 

I can see in SoulTaker's example how she was clearly with a guy (hand around the waist etc) and that's just tacky. But all my holidays photos that I use on dating websites are from my holidays with friends, that I paid for myself, I hardly think that it would be fair if a guy seeing these photos automatically start wondering who I went with and who took the photos, I mean that sounds pretty insecure to me and I wouldn't be interested in someone that thinks that way.

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SoulTaker Collaborator

SoulTaker

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That's an interesting view, how do you know they are of modest means (is it from what they say they do for a job?), and how do you know some of the photos were clearly taken by an ex bf?

 

I can see in SoulTaker's example how she was clearly with a guy (hand around the waist etc) and that's just tacky. But all my holidays photos that I use on dating websites are from my holidays with friends, that I paid for myself, I hardly think that it would be fair if a guy seeing these photos automatically start wondering who I went with and who took the photos, I mean that sounds pretty insecure to me and I wouldn't be interested in someone that thinks that way.

 

For me, lots of vacation pics is a signal that she might be an event person, and is only looking for a travel mate. If that is why a person is dating (friends, casual), then so be it. But if someone is looking for a relationship, then why send a strong signal on vacations? I'm more interested in what she does the majority of the time, and not once, or twice a year.

 

Also, most people want current pics. How are we to know how old those vacation pics are.

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