Would you beat up your SO if you found they cheated?

[jmantra]

I know I am probably going to catch a lot of flack for this but hear me out. I believe that no man should ever put their hands on a woman however when it comes to cheating, I am willing to make an exception.

 

I should note that I've never been cheated on, nor have I ever cheated. Now hitting anyone is wrong, however when it comes to cheating there is a certain level of betrayal, and hurt. If someone I loved ever cheated on me, I'd probably beat the living crap out of them because I would want them to feel the pain that I am feeling. I wouldn't care about going to jail, paying fines, ruining my reputation etc because all I would care about is them feeling the pain that I feel. They can even take out a PFA against me, but I'd be all for it because I'd probably never want to see her or here from her ever again. Breaking up with them is not enough because if they cheated they obviously didn't care enough about the relationship so they would probably feel some guilt, but only because they got caught.

 

Cheating is selfish and hurtful, and I believe the person who cheated deserves to feel some pain so next time that consider doing that to somebody they will remember what happened the last time.

 

And yes I realize some of you will say "you're not better than the cheater", but atleast I can walk away with the satisfaction that I will not let somebody disrespect like that, and get away with it.

[mhowe]

There are no exceptions to a man or woman physically beating up another person. None.

 

Your outlook is very immature. You would risk jail, and a record for the immediate and completely fleeting desire to inflict pain on another.

 

And you seem to have an awful lot of venom for someone who has never been cheated on.

 

I have been --- and while the hurt is sharp, walking away is the best solution.

 

In addition, your logic is faulty. They will not "remember" the lesson and decide not to cheat again.

[Cheetarah]

This is really cringe worthy.

 

Reminds me of my ex. At the end of our relationship, like the day before we split he woke me up and said "If you ever cheat on me and give me an STD, I'll hit you and you would be really selfish to try and stop me." It was so creepy. Ugh, I hadn't thought of that in 2 years. Thanks for the reminder.

 

I'm actually very concerned for this sense of entitlement to harm another person that you have. You have no right to purposefully harm another person unless it is in self-defense.

[hurtinheart]

Let us know how that works out fer ya.

 

(although no internet in jail)

[Batya33]

No I wouldn't. There are no justifications for a physical reaction other than self defense.

[Cheetarah]

Why would you even waste time thinking about things like that? I don't understand. Do you sit there thinking about how raged out you would feel and plan the beating?

[Man with Dog]

You're not in a minority of one, you're in a minority of two! I'm fully against people who hit their partners because the dinner is 5 minutes late or they have told an unfunny joke.

 

Yet cheating is another thing entirely. It is a complete and utter dealbreaker. In my opinion Lorena Bobbit should NOT have gone to prison and in my opinion a man who cheats on a woman is very bit as bad as a woman who cheats on a man. No "double standard" for me.

 

Another (rare) thing that justifies domestic abuse (and is worse than cheating) is if someone abuses a son, daughter or dependent relative.

 

Other things like gambling away the family home are a bit of a borderline case.

[Cheetarah]

Damn, what a sick world.

[hurtinheart]

At least we get fodder for the Investigation Discovery channel.

[pfbsurf]

Dude. You are one sorry excuse for a man.

 

Said as a man that has been cheated on. And dealt with it like a man.

 

You need to get some help, seriously. Grow the F up.

[jmantra]

You're not in a minority of one, you're in a minority of two! I'm fully against people who hit their partners because the dinner is 5 minutes late or they have told an unfunny joke.

 

Yet cheating is another thing entirely. It is a complete and utter dealbreaker. In my opinion Lorena Bobbit should NOT have gone to prison and in my opinion a man who cheats on a woman is very bit as bad as a woman who cheats on a man. No "double standard" for me.

 

Another (rare) thing that justifies domestic abuse (and is worse than cheating) is if someone abuses a son, daughter or dependent relative.

 

Other things like gambling away the family home are a bit of a borderline case.

 

Yes I knew I would find someone who agrees with me. Although I am not sure I would beat up my SO if I found they were abusing my child, unless I happened to see them in the act

 

Not sure if squandering the family budget on gambling or something stupid would justify physical violence though.

[Fudgie]

At least we get fodder for the Investigation Discovery channel.

 

Haha, that's my favourite channel.

 

No, I don't believe there is an excuse for hitting anyone, man or woman. Ever.

 

You think beating them up "defends your honour" in some way, but it doesn't. You beat them up. So what? They still "got away with it". They are still a cheat. You still were disrespected.

 

Violence doesn't erase the fact that the person was a w___e.

 

You want the last laugh? Walk away peacefully. Then you are not a criminal or an assailant. And the woman is a w___e. No amount of bloodshed can rinse that off.

 

If I were a man and were cheated on and she dared me to hit her, I would tell her that it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, she's still a s___t so not worth my time.

[Batya33]

Yes I knew I would find someone who agrees with me. Although I am not sure I would beat up my SO if I found they were abusing my child, unless I happened to see them in the act

 

Not sure if squandering the family budget on gambling or something stupid would justify physical violence though.

 

And this is why it's such a bad idea to resort to (to me) the cowardly act of physical violence. Because you're playing god and deciding what justifies physical harm to another person (and oh yes emotional abuse is of course awful too but I am making a distinction here about physical violence) - certainly in self-defense I think most people and religions agree that you do what you need to to protect yourself - but outside of that realm what you're saying is that physical violence teaches the right lesson to the person who wronged you. I couldn't disagree more. It's certainly the easier way out though.

[Cheetarah]

Is this a real conversation right now? Debating whether gambling away properties is violence worthy?

[Fudgie]

The only time violence against another human is okay is when you need to physically defend yourself because someone is attacking you.

 

People who have the mentality of "I must defend my honour" end up in jail. There's a lot of men and even women in jail who think that way. That's how they ended up there. Really guys, it's not worth it.

[jmantra]

You think beating them up "defends your honour" in some way, but it doesn't. You beat them up. So what? They still "got away with it". They are still a cheat. You still were disrespected.

 

It isn't so much about defending my honor, more so then it is about inflicting the same amount of pain they caused their SO.

[Man with Dog]

Dude. You are one sorry excuse for a man.

 

Said as a man that has been cheated on. And dealt with it like a man.

 

You need to get some help, seriously. Grow the F up.

 

One way of looking at it is that I would far rather my wife hit me with a red hot poker than cheated on me. Whilst I accept that there are sometimes mitigating circumstances for cheaters, I consider the act a very selfish one. Most physical wounds heal but emotional ones can leave scars for life.

 

Where there is a grey area is if someone cheats when the relationship is not (yet) considered long-term.

[newgirlhere]

I love so many responses to this.

 

You seem aware that physical violence is bad, and brazenly defiant about it still. I really hope you seek therapy as the kind of anger you are presenting here is extremely alarming. You should not be involved with ANYONE. You'll find any excuse to use beating someone as a method of 'making sure they remember the consequences.'

 

People cheat, and make mistakes, and hurt each other terribly in this world. You are absolutely contributing to this toxic trend with your violence.

 

Get help.

[Man with Dog]

Is this a real conversation right now? Debating whether gambling away properties is violence worthy?

 

I think it is. I'm not honestly sure which side of the line I stand but losing my home would certainly cause myself, my wife and our daughter a huge amount of emotional pain, although not as much as cheating.

[Seraphim]

No ,because I'm not a psychotic criminal.

[pfbsurf]

GUYS i AM A MAN.

 

THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR HITTING A WOMAN.

 

EVER.

 

EVER.

 

EVER.

 

WHAT THE F IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?

 

JESUS - NO WONDER YOUR WOMEN ARE LEAVING YOU.

 

I am hoping beyond all hope that OP is a troll.

[Man with Dog]

It isn't so much about defending my honor, more so then it is about inflicting the same amount of pain they caused their SO.

 

Now this is where we disagree. The pain of betrayal is far greater than any amount of physical pain.

[jmantra]

Is this a real conversation right now? Debating whether gambling away properties is violence worthy?

 

Come to think of it, I'd rather my SO gamble away my property then cheat on me. Hell, I'd rather them beat me with a baseball bat, atleast those physical wounds would heal with time.

[Fudgie]

It isn't so much about defending my honor, more so then it is about inflicting the same amount of pain they caused their SO.

 

You could beat them into a pulp and they won't feel or understand the pain that you felt when they cheated. It's just not possible. Emotional pain is far worse in a way than physical, especially when it runs so deep.

 

So the end result is that you get taken to jail, and they don't "learn" their lesson. See my point? Not worth it.

[jmantra]

Now this is where we disagree. The pain of betrayal is far greater than any amount of physical pain.

 

True but their needs to be some retribution, I know our opinion is not popular, but those who have been cheated on have probably had these thoughts, and are afraid to admit it.