DoAVillianEasy Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Does anyone have any good ex grovel stories. Like an ex breaking up with you, then he/she trying to get you back? I've wondered for awhile now how it would feel to have an ex try and get back with you and would be able to just say "no thanks, I've moved on!" Link to comment
JayCho Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Almost every ex I've had have all tried to come back at some point in time. Most I never gave a second chance. One didn't work out because I just couldn't look at her the same - lacked the trust, thought she would just break up with me again. The second it worked out for a year and a half until two weeks ago. Link to comment
DoAVillianEasy Posted July 10, 2014 Author Share Posted July 10, 2014 Almost every ex I've had have all tried to come back at some point in time. Most I never gave a second chance. One didn't work out because I just couldn't look at her the same - lacked the trust, thought she would just break up with me again. The second it worked out for a year and a half until two weeks ago. Sorry to hear that, how you feeling about it? Link to comment
JayCho Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Not well, lol. She was the "one who got away." She has been contacting me non-stop, even to go so far as guilt tripping me saying things like "for someone who wanted to work things out, you sure don't have much to say." Since I have been in NC. I'm just waiting for the whole "I messed up please take me back" or for me to get over her, whichever comes first Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Yes, most of my exes have tried to come back to me. Usually when it's all dead and gone and has been for months or years and/or they turn up now married and suddenly out of the blue want to "reconnect" or "catch up on old times." I could smell the whole "I'm looking for an affair" or "I'm desperate" vibe a mile off. And I hate it. It's always so embarrassing and I always think they are so pathetic for doing that. An ex is an ex for a reason and unless I have some clear and compelling reason to stay in touch--i.e. children or career--I have zero interest in ever seeing them again. My last ex still tries to periodically get in touch with me and he cheated on me repeatedly--go figure. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I've had a few try to get back in my life or want to be a 'friend' etc. I have let NONE back into my life. They've sent requests ( On fb), as mentioned ^^ months or yrs later. I've had one, months later, after he'd lied & cheated, try to get me to meet up with him for coffee, etc and still say ' love you' and I NEVER replied! I am not going to be his 'ego boost' because things in his life are in a funk, he's bored, lonely, whatever. he 'chose' to move on, then keep moving. You do not do **** like this then try to come back in my life. I have taken about a yr to work on accepting & healing and I am not going to give in now, so he'll feel better. I am now moving on and want nothing to do with people like that! Disrespectful, liars. And those who damaged me. In the end it's your choice what you want to do.. but most often, it doesn't work out because of those 'past' memories and the damage done. Link to comment
dereitis Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 My ex went straight to another guy after we were together 5 years. The minute things started getting rocky with him and she knew I was no longer there (from NC) she started calling me pet names again and asked me to meet her somewhere. She came over after a few drinks and we had a long chat. She talked about trying again and all this mess. Yeah...I pretty much gave her the boot. Once you see who someone really is, it's impossible to invite them back into your life. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 I've wondered for awhile now how it would feel to have an ex try and get back with you and would be able to just say "no thanks, I've moved on!" While it might seem like a great movie scene in your head, the reality is pretty awful--because by the time you've reached that point, you really ARE done. So someone whining and stalking to whine some more feels downright dismal and intrusive. It's a groaner that holds zero appeal, and all you want is peace. Link to comment
DoAVillianEasy Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 Sounds like an ex getting back in touch is a real pain in the ass, my feelings towards my ex are pretty faded now. I learnt the other day she is seeing some older man that looks like he is in his 40's. I didn't know what to think to begin with, but I'm pretty sure he is the drug dealer she was on about before she left me. I felt like for the first two days but then I just started to feel sorry for her, she turned into a money grabbing gold digger (pure speculation) but at the same time it's none of my business. I've chosen to let her go, I have random waves of emotion from time to time but nothing overwhelming. At the end of the day, it is what it is and I need to just concentrate on my own life as it's.......my life Link to comment
deejay74 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Reading all these stories makes me cringe because I actually have never dumped anyone. I've been the who's been dumped. Not really sure why that is. But, I have tried to get back together with pretty much all my exes except 1. I have been in 5 LTRs and 4 of them, I've tried to get back together with them. All 4 of those relationships were on and off again, which now, I realize is a pattern that I need to figure out why it keeps happening. At any rate, I feel kind of ashamed trying to get back with my exes reading how it made you all feel. Ironically though, I was taken back by all 4 of them more than once. I guess I was the groveling one. lol. I need to change that. Link to comment
JayCho Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 It has happened to me only when I've been dumped, never when I was the "dumper." Once I end things with someone I make sure I don't want any chance with them again. Link to comment
janut1 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 I have had every man that I had a relationship with come back to me asking for another chance, except my recent BF, but there is still lots of time for that to happen. In fact, the day I broke up with my BF, my X husband asked me if I would consider reconciliation. (he didn't know that we broke up it was just a coincidence I guess) I said No of course and that was a really bad/weird day for me. It happens all the time. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 [...] Ironically though, I was taken back by all 4 of them more than once. I guess I was the groveling one. lol. I need to change that. When I was really young and didn't know how to negotiate my way past an ex who'd corner me at parties, many times I would say fine, we're back together so I wouldn't need to spend my whole night caught up in ex drama when I wanted to relax with my friends. That's only one example of being worn down by a groveling ex, but believe me--that's not the kind of 'back together' that means anything. In fact, I resented the ex more and all I could think about was how to move out of town or find some other way to get rid of him. It's not workable. Groveling only has the opposite impact on an ex that you'd hope, and the desperation that imposes guilt and harassment is not going to get you back the relationship you want. Better to just hold your head up and let the ex wonder why you're holding up so well. That takes longer, but if it works, it turns the tables and has your ex pursuing you--and if it doesn't work, then it gives you a dignified exit that will make future encounters easier on you. And your ego. Link to comment
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