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Divorce Advice Needed


shademan

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I'll make it short and simple

 

Married for 7 years + 1yr old kid that I love.

Don't have feelings for wife.

I Want a divorce, Wife doesn't.

I am willing to help raise child and participate in all activities, I just can't live with her.

 

Two options

 

1- Stay with wife for the sake of kid and stay miserable for life.

2- Divorce and keep healthy relationship with kid as much as possible.

 

Thanks guys

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I'll make it short and simple

 

Married for 7 years + 1yr old kid that I love.

Don't have feelings for wife.

I Want a divorce, Wife doesn't.

I am willing to help raise child and participate in all activities, I just can't live with her.

 

Two options

 

1- Stay with wife for the sake of kid and stay miserable for life.

2- Divorce and keep healthy relationship with kid as much as possible.

 

Thanks guys

 

Option 2.

 

You do no one any favors living in a war zone.

 

If you are certain beyond all doubts that your happiness lies outside of the marriage, then divorce.

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OP, it sounds like you have already made up your mind.

 

If you know you don't love her, and you "can't live with her"- get divorced. You do no one any favors by staying if your heart isn't in it.

 

Take it from a woman who has been there. My ex-husband wanted a divorce and I didn't. He wasn't honest with me and kept "going through the motions" for years, out of some misguided sense of loyalty or guilt. He did me no favors. All it became was unspoken unhappiness between us both.

Him, because he was miserable and not being honest about his true feelings. Me because I was perpetually frustrated that I couldn't make him happy no matter what I did, and began to feel really bad about myself. Had he just been honest with me, he could have saved me years of heartache and unhappiness. I don't wish that pain on anyone else. You won't "fool" her by staying with her if you don't love her. Your true feelings will be apparent after some time has passed and staying for the sake of complacency won't make her happy in the long term. In retrospect, it still would have hurt either way, but at least if he had been honest sooner, we could have avoided years of deep unhappiness. I wish I had had the opportunity to move on sooner. Honesty sooner is by far the best route. TRUST me on this!

 

Be honest. Get divorced, and allow both of you the chance at real happiness.

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  • 2 years later...

I never came back to this post or it's replies and I think when I look back my posts this should have been dealt with earlier

 

We are still married but separated to a number of reasons, none of which contribute solely but we acknowledge we need to move on.

 

We both know our marriage now was a wrong decision 9 years of mixed feelings grief and sorrow, happiness and excitement but we were never meant for each other

 

I met other women, I felt really excited in the beginning but I came to the conclusion that I am the problem

 

Diagnosed with depression should have been an early detection system that I was not ready, even though I know how to get around it but the shadow of it keeps haunting me from time to time

 

I am honestly incapable for experiencing happiness and it makes me miserable yet I came to accept it the way it is

 

I tried everything from sports to drinking and still the only thing I find peace in and not happiness is solitude

 

I have been away from everyone I know, I do not have facebook, instagram or any kind of social network apps i only use linkedin for obvious reasons, I wish one day my son would be a better man than i am

 

I am writing all of this is a form of venting off my chest at least that's why I joined this place 13 years ago

 

I will continuously try to go through life and my depression, i am not going to think about suicidal whooped, I was raised as a warrior not a captive and even if I am a miserable one so be it

 

I still believe there is good in people buy that good is only in people who were hurt before and remembered to stay to who they really are and what they are made of

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