Broke up with a Divorced Dad :(

[allsunny]

I'm pretty sad. I thought I was strong enough to handle a relationship with a divorced dad. He was divorced 6 months and had a 3 year old son, and we started off as friends. We dated long distance for a year, and saw each other every 2-3 months. After he told his ex-wife that he was dating someone, a few days later, she walked into "his" house and tore up all the photos of us together. He got mad of course, but right after, she apologized and I was left to deal with it. She did this twice. She hasn't done anything crazy since then, but I can't help but feel like I always had to deal... always had to be understanding about the situation, and when I was upset, I wasn't allowed to be. That's how I was felt. I read online that this was a very common feeling among single females dating single dads.

 

I broke up with him yesterday, because after all the drama, it was so hard to communicate, especially long distance. I love him. I care about him, but it's really hard to trust that he's over his ex or that he truly respects my feelings. I don't feel appreciated. He says he does things his way to show his appreciation, but that's his expectations and not mine. I don't know.

 

I know he has feelings too. But, I feel like, emotionally, my roller-coaster is crazier.

 

Anyone think I made a good decision or a rash decision?

[mhowe]

Good decision.

He has no boundaries with her...she shouldn't be able to walk into his house.

Once is a rash impulse....2x is him showing no boundaries.

Add to that the long distance....you were right.

 

Now stay right.

[Ms Darcy]

I wouldn't date someone six months out of a divorce. Way too many feelings on both sides. You made the right choice.

[waffle]

Let me refer you to my xH, lol! We've been divorced six months and he's not pining away for me, I'm not crazy and breaking into his home. I moved on quickly and am seeing someone else and have been for a couple months, he hasn't even considered dating yet. It really does take men longer to get over divorce. Fact.

 

But we're older too. I'm late 40s and xH is mid 40s. And no small children--ours are teens and young adults. Your guy sounds much younger, probably with a shorter-term marriage and add a 3-year-old in the mix . . . YIKES!!! Emotions are bound to run high.

 

The real red flag as I saw it in the your first post is how you're not (or feel you're not) allowed to be upset at what's going on. That you have to be understanding. No. You were absolutely right to back away from this situation. There has to be a better fit out there for you.

[shellyf62]

I am amazed that the Ex had access to his house. Is she allowed to just come & go as she pleases? If I was the Ex H I would have taken the keys off her after the first instance. He obviously doesn't want to hurt her feelings, and doesn't give two hoots about yours.

My Ex & I never had access to each others houses, and we had a 5 yr old Daughter.

 

You did the best thing under the circumstances, I really think they still have feelings for each other.

[Larkin]

I'm pretty sad. I thought I was strong enough to handle a relationship with a divorced dad. He was divorced 6 months and had a 3 year old son, and we started off as friends.

 

OP, who initiated the divorce, him or his ex-wife? At 6 months out, emotions can be all over the place, but if he was the initiator, guilt could be a major factor in his interactions with his ex. Regardless, I think you made the right decision.