Head and heart at battle!!

[Selflove1]

If you've not read previous here's the run down: 5 years 2 children, from July to Xmas I was led to believe there was only one woman he cheated with but there was lots of one night stands.

 

So took our children for dinner round his and his parents, all fine, I've been feeling great and it must have showed, picked them up couple of hours later. He asking if any of his friends are texting me, he doesnt trust them, bit rich lol but if corse I'm not interested in any relationship.

 

Received this text earlier today: I know it's too late to sort things out been thinking about you all night I'm such a can't believe all this mess I've caused I really can't, I'm sorry I let you and the boys down I really am. I know I caused all this and I'll regret this for the rest of my life I do you want you to be happy. I can't have you on whatsapp or phone number cos it's too much stress knowing what your up to. I've never felt the way I'm feeling right now it's horrible but how you've been feeling all these months must have been worse I'm sorry for putting you threw tht. Whatever happened, I think I'll be trying to work that out for a long time, your a brilliant mum. I'm sorry about Xmas and new year I ed up big time there. Have ruined my life and the vision I wanted will never be. I'll get my mum to contact you about kids sorry it's gotta be this way

 

I couldn't help myself so I replied: it's ok I understand. It's too late for us but not to sort your issues and life out. I want you to be happy too. Take care

 

He replied: is it too late for us

 

And napl these months I was the one asking this, and trying to save us. So I sat my heart down an told her to listen to my herd from now on, she wasn't happy lol

 

My reply: I waited moths for you to come back to me believing it was just one woman. Yes it is too late for us. I'm still devastated and doesn't mean I love you any less I just value myself not to be hurt anymore

 

And I am happy I've finally said more to myself that yes it is too late to go back

 

But now .... Him : I miss you, I just want to be a family again I know it's too late I'm sorry for asking. I live you I always love you just want you to know that

 

Help me stay strong cos this is pulling at my silly heart strings!!!

[mhowe]

Yours was an awesome answer. And he will be in your life to deal with the kids for many years to come.

 

However --- you deserve to be treated with RESPECT.

And he has proven incapable of doing that.

[DancingFool]

Crocodile tears. He has shown you who he is with his actions. All that other stuff is just empty words and they really have no value. Yeah, he feels real bad until he fills his harem back up with new girls. You don't want to be a part of that, you don't want to spend your life wondering where he is every time he is late or not home, you don't want to spend your life worrying when he will give you a "special" present of an STD he picked up from one of his one night stands. You deserve a better life than this kind of an ongoing nightmare. Your kids also deserve better than seeing this kind of a relationship dynamic with daddy cheating and mommy turning a blind eye to it. If you can't do this for yourself, do it for the kids.

[Selflove1]

^^^ your both so right, it's nice to have confirmation that I'm doing the right thing by me and my boys. And as each day goes by I really do see how blind I was to all the awful things he did! The rosy glasses are slowly coming off, and I'm glad that I me and my family are the main influence in my kids life, cos my side have such a strong network and my brothers are great role models

[lavenderdove]

He's probably spoken to a lawyer and realized how much child support is going to cost him!

 

Really, don't fall for it... it wasn't like one small indiscretion and then he regretted it... he did it again and again and again with multiple women. You have to protect yourself, and also you health because who knows what STDs he'd bring home to you.

 

And he'll only be sorry as long as it takes for you to settle in with him again, and once things are 'back to normal' he'll get bored again and start cheating again... So he wants to have his cake and eat it too, and has shown himself to be a huge liar/cheater, so you really can't fall for any words he tells you.

 

So you're making the right choice. Meet with a lawyer and just get on with the divorce and don't feel sorry for him. It's not like he had an auto accident, he consciously chose, again and again, to bang other women while you were at home taking care of his life and kids. He needs to grow up and reap the consequences of what he sows.

[itsallgrand]

Is that what love is?? It's easy to mouth the words. His actions - not love.

 

Probably better not to listen to it. Then you don't have to deal with his noise.

[Cheetarah]

He'll probably snap at you soon enough when you hold your ground. You'll see his true intentions rather quickly that way. These people are same old, same old.

 

I love your response. Very honest, strong and dignified. Good for you.