starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Hello all, I am dating this guy, he is really nice, attentive,affectionate, respectful etc. Sometimes a little clingy but generally a good guy. We have only been dating for 5 weeks. The thing is we recently had sex and i found out his penis was on the smaller side to what i am used to (around 4 inch length, 3.5/4 girth). He was good at oral and foreplay and very affectionate, great body as he works out, sex was ok, he seemed to angle it well but i still felt frustrated a bit after, whether it's cos we did it just for the first time i don't know. He also took a while to get an erection although he was really into me. Also, i have heard that after you do it for a while the women loosens up so it may feel even less (i do the kegel exercises, will it still get looser). Now i am thinking down the line will it be enough, will i miss a bigger penis, i don't want to be shallow but i want to go forward without many doubts. He seems already really into me whereas i said (before we did it) i am happy being casual at the mo. although i do like him. So do i give it a chance or not, do i tell him how i feel? Does anyone have good experience with this size? And if i decide not to how can i let him down gently as he is nice and wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, would like to be friends if it ended up we weren't together. If i said anything now, he would probably know it was to do with penis size as he saw i was enjoying all the rest. Ah just not sure what to do and don't want to hurt him either way. Constructive comments most appreciated. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Of course you don't tell him! However...I think wanting to remain friends is unrealistic. And as for "not being shallow"...I think that boat has sailed. Link to comment
quirky Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Do you like him lots? You'll probably get used to the size if everything else is fine. Do you feel pressure because he's into you? Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 I really don't think you are that into him...even before the sex. So keep.looking for someone who hits all of your.buttons. Link to comment
starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 Both, i like him and we have lots of chemistry, he has quite a gentleman, take care of women attitude which i find endearing. He is also very positive so would never want him to not feel enough. but from the beginning i have always wanted to take slow, just date and see. He has slowed down but i can see he wants a relationship I also feel a little pressured as he is very into me and he is nice in character. I feel guilty that i have these doubts as he seems to have none. Link to comment
agatha Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 my first three boyfriends were on the larger side, so I grew spoiled about penis sizes - medium ones can still get me there if they are thick enough, but sometimes it happens that I get romantically involved with someone too small for me to cum. only you can know if oral and finger skills can make do for what he doesn't have, and sometimes you just let all his other advantages compensate for the sexual ones. after all relationships are about emotional and sexual support. but if you think it would be better to leave, never let him know the real reason - better be called shallow for not coping with his awful musical taste or something of the sort than loose Xp Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 You shouldn't be guilted into sleeping with someone. I think he.looks good on paper and even in person...but you are trying to force it and you just aren't feeling it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 He sounds like a good catch! You should release him back into the dating pool so he can meet a woman who is going to be good to him. Link to comment
starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 Yes, if it ends i will not say the real reason, don't want to hurt him. Link to comment
starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 I don't understand some comments, i am not being bad to him, i really like him which is why its upsetting that i feel there may be a size/in bed together issue Link to comment
starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 You shouldn't be guilted into sleeping with someone. I think he.looks good on paper and even in person...but you are trying to force it and you just aren't feeling it. I do like him, we have a lot of chemistry in some ways and like being around him, just torn as to how much i like him and the size thing. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 I don't understand some comments, i am not being bad to him, i really like him which is why its upsetting that i feel there may be a size/in bed together issue Well, yes, I think you are being shallow. If he's a great guy, and has everything else going on for him, but he isn't going to make you happy in bed because of his size, let him go so he can find someone better. Honestly, penis size is something that men have zero control over. If he's big, small, whatever. He can't help it anymore than he can help his height. Let him find someone else. Link to comment
Furbys Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Let him find someone who will love every part of him. You know this issue will always be on your mind so let him go. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 No you are not being shallow. Sexual compatibility is important as is having a mutually satisfying sex life. So even though he is a good guy, without that sexual compatibility you don't have enough to go forward. Lasting relationships need both or else you end up with people complaining how they never have sex or worse start having affairs, etc. Link to comment
starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 Well, yes, I think you are being shallow. If he's a great guy, and has everything else going on for him, but he isn't going to make you happy in bed because of his size, let him go so he can find someone better. Honestly, penis size is something that men have zero control over. If he's big, small, whatever. He can't help it anymore than he can help his height. Let him find someone else. I am not sure what you mean when you say someone better, more suitable or compatible ii understand. I am a great person too and have been great to him, that's why he is into me, i just have some honest sexual concerns, it not personal. I actually feel really sad as i don't want to just end it and i don't want him to be hurt as he likes me so much Link to comment
Romeo November Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 I did not think people should be calling you swallow. There is not one person in this world who isn't superficial. As to your question, yes size does matter. Break up with him and find somebody bigger. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 You have slept with him once. And usually the first time has issues and anxiety from both sides. Maybe wait a few more times... Link to comment
Samedy Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 I've sometimes heard that a woman's body will adjust to the size of her partner... No idea how true that is, or if it has to involve exercises.. Link to comment
starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 I must admit i feel awful, cos i like him, we have a lot of chemistry and sexual chemistry, its just he is smaller than i am use to and not sure if a sexual relationship works in this situation as i have only been through this before with a one night stand and my other relationships they were all bigger. Thats why i was asking for advice and shared experiences. I am upset that people think i am being shallow and horrible to him when i actually do care about him. Link to comment
starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 Bit tearful now but thanks for those who gave some constructive advice, i really appreciate it Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 You "care" about him but see no future because of something he can't change. Let him go and find a smaller woman who will be happy with all of him. Including his penis. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 That is absurd. A vagina is not made of silly putty. Link to comment
starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 You "care" about him but see no future because of something he can't change. Let him go and find a smaller woman who will be happy with all of him. Including his penis. I never said see no future, i asked whether people feel size matters and shared experiences. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Look this is really easy. All you have to do is make a pro and con list. If have a small wee-wee and being a tad clingy out weighs everything else for you then let him go. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 "I am now thinking that down the line it will not be enough". Since you feel that way now and his package will not.change...I would say you are questioning a future. Link to comment
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