starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 "I am now thinking that down the line it will not be enough". Since you feel that way now and his package will not.change...I would say you are questioning a future. i said i was thinking down the line will it be enough, its a question Anyway no worries, you are entitled to your opinion Link to comment
starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 Look this is really easy. All you have to do is make a pro and con list. If have a small wee-wee and being a tad clingy out weighs everything else for you then let him go. Thanks Moontiger, that is a good suggestion Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 i said i was thinking down the line will it be enough, its a question Anyway no worries, you are entitled to your opinion We can't possibly predict what you will feel about this man 8 months down the road. Obviously, everyone has their deal breakers, and only you can choose what yours are. In my opinion (and mhowe's) the first several times in bed can be awkward and nerve wracking, so it's not uncommon for things to be less than stellar. After that, things may or may not improve based on communication, chemistry, and effort put into sex. It is up to do what you do from this point on. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 One of my friends likes a big penis and this happened to her , I will be honest she was dissapointed and wondered the same things that you are , however once she got to know him more and more she saw that there where many things about him she didn't like , so she did end it , but not based on his penis size . She had decided that if everything else was going well that she would give the relationship a chance . Maybe this is what you should do , just enjoy the relationship , the sexual chemistry you have and see how you feel in a month or so . Of course I am not saying you should string the man along , but I am wondering if the dymanics of your growing relationship can be bigger than the proverbial size issue . Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 my last ex was on the small size (not 4 inch tho lol) but he was amazing in oral and foreplay... any way, it doesnt matter unless you or him makes it matter. my ex did a good job at compensating and for me personally, sex is more emotional to me so as long as the intimacy was there, i didnt dwell on his penis size. most guys just like the physical aspect of sex and that really doesnt turn me on. Link to comment
FlashEng1 Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Adding to mhowe and other's advice, I'd say perhaps give him another chance or so while weighing your pros and cons, and make an intelligent and fair (to you both) decision. No you do not tell him how you feel, as your feelings are entirely based on something he cannot control. That's the equivalent to you and I dating and everything going amazing, BUT.... I'm black. Like.. what are we supposed do with that information? Go get surgery or bleaching? However, if the cons are of things he can work on to improve, then yes, sit down and be open about your feelings and situation, giving him the opportunity to 'change' or 'improve.' Link to comment
quirky Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Don't feel guilty about his feelings and don't assume responsibility for his feelings. The clinginess might be at the start because he doesn't know where he stands yet with you. Take your time, this is your life and happiness too but I would also suggest keep him informed, communicate what you need so he doesn't get angtsy and more clingy. Did you feel anything when he was in you? I once had a small bf but it was alright, just some positions didn't work. I once though had sex with someone I was dating and he was so small I didn't realise he was inside me! How tragic. I couldn't do it, no way, I am not that kind. Sex is fun but I agree with the other posters that the first times are always a bit awkward. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 I would say give him more time. But you care more about size than the person. So it might be best to go before you slip up and say something due to your shallow obsession with penis size. Link to comment
starstarstar Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 Don't feel guilty about his feelings and don't assume responsibility for his feelings. The clinginess might be at the start because he doesn't know where he stands yet with you. Take your time, this is your life and happiness too but I would also suggest keep him informed, communicate what you need so he doesn't get angtsy and more clingy. Did you feel anything when he was in you? I once had a small bf but it was alright, just some positions didn't work. I once though had sex with someone I was dating and he was so small I didn't realise he came inside me! How tragic. I couldn't do it, no way, I am not that kind. Sex is fun but I agree with the other posters that the first times are always a bit awkward. Thanks guys, some good last few comments/advice. Quirky, thanks for the advice, i am trying not to feel guilty of that side of things, and he did become less clingy when i let him know. I felt him inside me most of the time, he was good at angling it and certain positions were better than others. I just felt it less than in past relationships (filling up or after soreness feeling). but i haven't had sex for a while so wondered if that may be why i felt it more and if this would be less in the future, this is my first real experience like this. I was a little sore from the pressure on g-spot area (and felt like i needed to pee, but couldn't quite come at the end, maybe cos it was our first time, not sure, in the past i sometimes come through intercourse, and happy to in other ways as well as intercourse). i feel a lot of emotional sexual chemistry, when he touches me etc Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Whether you agree with it or not....its all good advice! Link to comment
lady00 Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 I would let him go. No need to stay in a relationship in which you are not satisfied. For women who never orgasm through sex I assume this would be a nonissue because the would be more so looking for other ways to orgasm. But for you it is an issue an issue. Unless you are happy with other methods then I think it makes sense to walk away. Link to comment
Amp33 Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Honestly, I have been with guys on the bigger side, and guys on the smaller side. It truly is how they use it. So maybe before you get carried away with the size, try different sex positions and find one that works for you. And if he's good at foreplay then that's already a plus! Some guys don't know the first thing about foreplay and how to turn a woman on. Link to comment
offplanet Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 You're not being shallow. You can't help it that you have a preference for a bigger size any more than he can help it that his size is what it is. What attracts us is not under our control. You shouldn't be judged about this. Link to comment
Iggles Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Honestly, penis size is something that men have zero control over. If he's big, small, whatever. He can't help it anymore than he can help his height. Let him find someone else. True. When it comes to attraction physical attributes do matter. Women are judged on beauty every day and those deemed less attractive have little control over the features they were born with. It's just how it is. I did not think people should be calling you swallow. There is not one person in this world who isn't superficial. As to your question, yes size does matter. Break up with him and find somebody bigger. Agreed. It's your choice, OP. If you feel the two of you aren't a good fit physically then it's okay to move on. It's another dimension of sexual compatibility. Personally, for me length isn't an issue. However girth is. I'd likely feel the same way as you in that regard but if the person is perfect for me in ever other way I'd give it a shot. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 A woman can wear make up, hit the gym, wear push up bras, or spanxs. If a man has a small penis, there is nothing he can do about it. All a man can do is work on foreplay. And for some shallow women, even that isn't enough. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 It would never be an issue for me. While I feel that you should let him go based on your doubts, I think you're going to end up really regretting it when you see him in the near future happy with someone else. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 He sounds like a good catch! You should release him back into the dating pool so he can meet a woman who is going to be good to him. And who doesn't mind a small penis. Link to comment
agatha Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 It would never be an issue for me. While I feel that you should let him go based on your doubts, I think you're going to end up really regretting it when you see him in the near future happy with someone else. my last ex (we were together for some 6 months) had a medium-to-small penis, and so many insecurity issues around it that I couldn't help but have wet dreams about my previous fwb even when I was sleeping with him. not once or twice, to my despair. ran into him 2 months ago by chance, he was with someone else - she was shorter and smaller than me, and they looked happy. I was single and fwb-less, but not for a second I envied her. I know every inch of that body, and some dark corners of his personality. thanks, but no thanks. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 No you are not being shallow. Sexual compatibility is important as is having a mutually satisfying sex life. So even though he is a good guy, without that sexual compatibility you don't have enough to go forward. Lasting relationships need both or else you end up with people complaining how they never have sex or worse start having affairs, etc. The issue is not penis size per se but about her not feeling as much sexual pleasure as she has with a man who is more endowe. In that way, I agree you are not being shallow. I would say give him more time. But you care more about size than the person. So it might be best to go before you slip up and say something due to your shallow obsession with penis size. Time to do what? To hope his other great qualities will negate sexual incompatibility? You're not being shallow. You can't help it that you have a preference for a bigger size any more than he can help it that his size is what it is. What attracts us is not under our control. You shouldn't be judged about this. Agreed. True. When it comes to attraction physical attributes do matter. Women are judged on beauty every day and those deemed less attractive have little control over the features they were born with. It's just how it is. Agreed. Some guys like Asian women ... for example. A woman can't "hit the gym, get spanx, or wear makeup" to be like that. Some preferences are unchangeable traits and that's OK. Link to comment
agatha Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 A woman can wear make up, hit the gym, wear push up bras, or spanxs. If a man has a small penis, there is nothing he can do about it. All a man can do is work on foreplay. And for some shallow women, even that isn't enough. actually, for the shallow women that might actually be enough #punintended #couldnotresist #sorry Link to comment
jonny15 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 And who doesn't mind a small penis. And how is he suppose to know which ones don't mind it? These women don't wear shirts that say what size they like. Which means he might have to go through all the same garbage again because some random woman expects a pornstar, and anything small isn't a real man to her. Link to comment
Iggles Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 A woman can wear make up, hit the gym, wear push up bras, or spanxs. If a man has a small penis, there is nothing he can do about it. All a man can do is work on foreplay. And for some shallow women, even that isn't enough. And for some "shallow" men some women are invisible if they aren't deemed pretty enough. Peoples' preferences and deal breakers are theirs to decide. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 my last ex (we were together for some 6 months) had a medium-to-small penis, and so many insecurity issues around it that I couldn't help but have wet dreams about my previous fwb even when I was sleeping with him. not once or twice, to my despair. ran into him 2 months ago by chance, he was with someone else - she was shorter and smaller than me, and they looked happy. I was single and fwb-less, but not for a second I envied her. I know every inch of that body, and some dark corners of his personality. thanks, but no thanks. So it was his fault that you were thinking about another man? Wow. That is rather delusional. Of course it was his fault because of his evil little penis. And what does a woman being short and small have to do with anything? Link to comment
jonny15 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 actually, for the shallow women that might actually be enough #punintended #couldnotresist #sorry A man working hard in the bedroom should be enough to make up for any so called incampatabilities. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 And for some "shallow" men some women are invisible if they aren't deemed pretty enough. Peoples' preferences and deal breakers are theirs to decide. And women love to pick the ones that can't be changed, and then call them needs. And hardly any women are invisible. There is always some guy willing. Link to comment
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