Will he ask me out again after this?

[alfalfa]

Hold on a second.

I thought that Friday date was off because you had made other plans. Now you're saying that you did suggest to meet anyway, just uptown instead of downtown? And he said no because he had made other plans....at 11.30pm. And he blew you off on Monday, too, and nothing since then. And all that after having him over to your place for dinner.

 

In my opinion he's a spoiled jerk. Go ahead and text him if you want but if a guy behaves like this after 3 dates, I can't imagine what he'll be like after 3 months.

 

Friday the conversation basically went like this:

 

him: (11:30pm) : hey whats up

 

me: hey how are you? im still just uptown with a friend

 

him: you're uptown?!?! i thought we were meeting downtown. what happened?

 

me: awe boo... i thought we were meeting too, i was looking forward to it... but i hadnt heard from you since wednesday so i didnt know if we were still on or not, so i made other plans tonight...

 

him: why didnt you just message me?!! also, you said i should come meet you and your friend, did you bail on her too?

 

me: no i didn't bail on her... we just changed our plans to tomorrow night at the last minute... i could have messaged you too, sorry i didnt, guess i just hoped to hear from you too

 

him: sorry, ive been really busy with early meetings and late nights at work

 

me: no worries... well i am just on my way home now if you still want to meet uptown?

 

him: nah, its ok. have fun with your friend. i made other plans now.

 

me: ok. well too bad tonight didnt work out, miscommunication, but i'd still like to see eachother another time if you do.

 

him: absolutely!

 

 

 

and then that was it until Sunday and Monday...

[missmarple]

Ok, he was annoyed and I would have been, too, but still, his reaction is too much...I mean ignoring you. It's a guy you've been on 3 dates with. You apologised, you suggested to meet uptown, you re-suggested for Monday..gee, what else does he want you to do? Fall on your knees and kiss his feet?

[mhowe]

How is he ignoring her. That was Friday and they have been in communication Sun and Mon.

You re-suggested and he was busy.

 

And --- why would he have called on Fri when he got out of work if he wasn't interested...because that was the plan and he was sticking to it!@!

[greta96]

him: you're uptown?!?! i thought we were meeting downtown. what happened?

..

 

So wait a second...then did you have plans to meet downtown? Was a time discussed? Or you were just going to hang out downtown with your friend and he was going to join whenever he finished work? I'm confused...how did the conversation go on your last date, when Friday was discussed?

[missmarple]

By ignoring I mean turning down the offer for Monday and not suggesting another date. Plus, I don't think they've talked since Monday..or am I wrong?

By the same token, if he was interested, and the girl apologised and suggested another date, what else does he need?

[mhowe]

It's Wed. They had 3 dates --- he had plans. And as it is the holiday season, and he works until 11:30....maybe he just didn't make the next date.

 

However --- I don't see him sharing fault here because he didn't confirm or call back after dinner. At dinner, they set Fri...and she blew it off because he

didn't call.

[alfalfa]

So wait a second...then did you have plans to meet downtown? Was a time discussed? Or you were just going to hang out downtown with your friend and he was going to join whenever he finished work? I'm confused...how did the conversation go on your last date, when Friday was discussed?

 

On the last date when Friday was discussed, I said that me and my girlfriend were going to this bar downtown, but I didn't know if we were going on Friday or Saturday. I said if we go on Friday, you can come join us, and if we go on Saturday, then you and me can do our own thing on Friday. I knew he would be done work around midnight. But me and my friend decided to go on Saturday, so Friday I was stuck uptown waiting to hear from him (he did not know I was just waiting around... he clearly thought I was downtown with my friend). So... it was all a miscommunication He thought I was 100% downtown, and I totally was expecting to hear from him to figure out plans.

 

Yea I can see how he was annoyed too, given what he was thinking in his mind. But yea I also think his reaction was a little bit much. And I just am hoping to redeam the situation now but not so sure if this is possible!

[tattoobunnie]

 

him: nah, its ok. have fun with your friend. i made other plans now.

 

 

Wait - how did he make plans so quick in just that span of conversation? Again - this guy doesn't sound like a winner. If he had time to text you at 11:30, and morning meetings, and work, he has time to fire you an email, text, call from work to firm up plans - not leave you in suspense up to the last minute, considering he's the one that asked you out.

 

Sweety - even if you don't have sex directly, accepting lame-a$$ plans like that - no guy will take you seriously.

 

Be glad you didn't drop whatever you were doing for some lame-a$$ behavior.

[missmarple]

Has this guy initiated ANY date so far?

[alfalfa]

Wait - how did he make plans so quick in just that span of conversation? Again - this guy doesn't sound like a winner. If he had time to text you at 11:30, and morning meetings, and work, he has time to fire you an email, text, call from work to firm up plans - not leave you in suspense up to the last minute, considering he's the one that asked you out.

 

Sweety - even if you don't have sex directly, accepting lame-a$$ plans like that - no guy will take you seriously.

 

Be glad you didn't drop whatever you were doing for some lame-a$$ behavior.

 

Just to clarify... How is it lame what he did, when in his head, he was expecting to come meet me at this bar when he was done work? I thought plans were up in the air, he thought they were made. We clearly should have discussed this in better detail on our dinner date. But it is what it is.

 

It's kind of a confusing situation and hard to interpret right or wrong because we both thought completely different things lol!

[alfalfa]

Has this guy initiated ANY date so far?

 

Yes he initiated all of them actually.

 

First = he asked me out.

Second = he asked me out again. He said "whats your sched this week? Id love to see you again if youre down."

Third = sort of mutual. On our second date we had bet on a hockey game. HE decided the bet was "if you win, i'll make you dinner next time. if i win, you make me dinner". So he initated it but then I was the one that followed up on it and picked a day.

[tattoobunnie]

Just to clarify... How is it lame what he did, when in his head, he was expecting to come meet me at this bar when he was done work? I thought plans were up in the air, he thought they were made. We clearly should have discussed this in better detail on our dinner date. But it is what it is.

 

It's kind of a confusing situation and hard to interpret right or wrong because we both thought completely different things lol!

 

You barely started dating, and you think how he behaves is awesome, totally doting, and wonderful? Um, no. Wow - stop putting your eggs all in one basket. There's men out there that would make real plans like dinner, entertainment, and in advance. I mean if you want to be treated like a doormat, keep texting him, and see how it goes. There are men who wouldn't even act like this after a year of dating.

 

He was inconsiderate to you. I guess when you get ancient like me, you see that it could be 1000 times better.

[greta96]

Yes, it sounds like it was a miscommunication. Having said that, I still think his reaction was too over the top, especially since you tried to make up for it.

 

For your peace of mind, try sending one last message. But do not mention last week's events again, and whatever you do, do NOT say you screwed up. He should have confirmed plans instead of just assuming things. What if you were sick in bed or something else would have come up?

Just send him one last short, light hearted text, and if he doesn't respond positively, drop it forever. And don't think it was your fault only, he didn't exactly do his part either.

[missmarple]

In that case, I go back to my spoiled comment. He was fine as long as everything went ok. One problem came up (that wasn't entirely your fault, in my opinion) and he acted like a baby.

[Kendahke]

And she sat back and played "give to get" and "keep score". I think they're both spoiled and they both messed this up.

[missmarple]

Except she apologised and offered to reschedule. He's done nothing.

[Kendahke]

he wasn't the one playing the games which backfired. He did nothing to apologize for. When he left her last, he left under the impression they had plans.

[missmarple]

So, someone can't make a mistake. They were both responsible for the plans that failed, they didn't have a set date. Ok, he had that impression...again, she apologised and suggested another date. No guy that's interested in a girl would disappear just because one date (or plans for) went wrong. People accept apologies and move on IF they're interested. If they're so and so, sure, it's easy to say 'you made one mistake, bye bye'.