Confused, not sure what the next step is..

[Redabc123]

Im back yet again..So I started talking to a guy about 4weeks ago, we finally met last weekend for ice cream, it went great. He asked me out for this weekend. We went bowling had dinner, we had a great time laughed and talked for a couple hours, it even ended in a goodnight kiss. We have been talking everyday for 4 weeks until now. After I got home from the date. He sent me a text and said he was "home", I replied "I got home too and am now cuddled in bed" He replied missing me, and I replied "that's true". That was the extent of the conversation, whichw as kind of werid since we usally talk alot. There was no mention of the kiss which before that date he talked about how much he wanted to kiss me. Then the next day I heard nothing from him which again was werid because we usually talk everyday. So now Im confused, I dont know if suddenly he isnt interested which would surprise me because I thought we had a great time. I dont like intiating texting so I dont want to text him first and seem desperate. I usually hear from him in the morning but havent heard anything. What should I do? Any Advice? I like him so far we have alot in common, but im rusty with dating and have been for the past yr. so Im in need of some pointers. Thanks!!!

[Ms Darcy]

Meeting people usually bursts the fantasy built up when you talk to a stranger for a while. It has only been one date, so be prepared for anything. Now that you have met, the contact will likely dwindle, whether he is interested or not, because it's no longer a fantasy.

 

You can let him know you enjoyed last night and would be up for another date. Don't do anything else for now. If you don't hear from him, then that's your answer.

[Redabc123]

Meeting people usually bursts the fantasy built up when you talk to a stranger for a while. It has only been one date, so be prepared for anything. Now that you have met, the contact will likely dwindle, whether he is interested or not, because it's no longer a fantasy.

 

You can let him know you enjoyed last night and would be up for another date. Don't do anything else for now. If you don't hear from him, then that's your answer.

 

After our ice cream date he said he was really interested, liked me alot and after the bowling date we made a bet that who ever loses has to plan the 3rd date so Im confused as to how he lost interest that fast. Maybe he didnt feel the spark after the kiss

[tmp110314]

Who won the bowling game(s)?

[Redabc123]

Who won the bowling game(s)?

 

He did..so he kept joking with me that he hopes I plan something great

[mhowe]

Ummm --- it would appear then the ball is in your court.

[savignon]

I wouldn't read too much into it. Its only been 2 dates and he said he's interested. If that's true, you'll hear from him soon and if not, then you won't. You could always text him first or plan the next date yourself (esp if you lost the bowling game...maybe he's seeing if you'll follow up on that?)

Just take it easy..not all dates turn into relationships.

[Ms Darcy]

After our ice cream date he said he was really interested, liked me alot and after the bowling date we made a bet that who ever loses has to plan the 3rd date so Im confused as to how he lost interest that fast. Maybe he didnt feel the spark after the kiss

 

You lost so you plan the next date. Keep it simple.

[Redabc123]

I wouldn't read too much into it. Its only been 2 dates and he said he's interested. If that's true, you'll hear from him soon and if not, then you won't. You could always text him first or plan the next date yourself (esp if you lost the bowling game...maybe he's seeing if you'll follow up on that?)

Just take it easy..not all dates turn into relationships.

 

He maybe waiting ,but isnt the rule that you shouldnt text guys first you should let them come to you?

[mhowe]

There are no rules.

Use your common sense.

[savignon]

He maybe waiting ,but isnt the rule that you shouldnt text guys first you should let them come to you?

 

There are no "rules". The playful agreement you made was that you would plan the next date. Go ahead and do that.

[tmp110314]

He maybe waiting ,but isnt the rule that you shouldnt text guys first you should let them come to you?

 

But, you guys had an agreement about the outcome of the bowling. As I see it, since you've already done a few things together, it's no longer playing by any 'rules'. If you wait for those illusive rules, then you just might lose out.

 

So now, since you lost the bowling, the next step is yours - regardless of any silly rules.

[Stay_home]

He maybe waiting ,but isnt the rule that you shouldnt text guys first you should let them come to you?

 

It wouldn't hurt but if I were you I wouldn't do that unless I could gave a rats whether or not the guy stuck around. A lot of women make that mistake of grouping guys into this category of being able to read minds and know her needs right up front. Don't do that! Remember that all men don't have the same experiences when it comes to dating. So for the best results at dating, a woman has to be willing to be assertive if she has to. You have to be willing to take the lead and willing to show that you too are willing to put out there and risk getting it cut off. That's what dating is all about, a risk from both sides. And all the time women lose out on good men because they are stubborn to make any adjustments.

 

Like I said if you don't like him all that much, than yes, wait for him to call you. But if you are sure that you like him I would take a little more initiative to keep this going.

[greta96]

Guys like it when women initiate too, and especially since the deal was whoever loses the game plans the next date, I think the best course of action would be for you to think of something fun (pool, miniature golf, etc) and ask him out.

This way you'll also know for sure if he's interested or not.

[Fushigidane]

Don't read too much into it, he very well could have been tired after the date and busy the next day. Just send him a hello text and see if he responds and how he does it to get a better idea of the situation.

[Redabc123]

Thank you all for the great advice, I will go ahead and contact him today to see if he wants to hangout.

[t1lersm0m1]

He said missing you, and you replied that's true. You didn't mirror his sentiment. Maybe that turned him off to you?

 

He texted you when he got home. If he didn't, I would say he's not interested, but if he wasn't interested I would say he wouldn't have texted and said he misses you.

 

I think he's waiting for you to ask him out/plan date 3.

[mhowe]

Replying "that's true" to "missing you" is ....odd.

[Redabc123]

Replying "that's true" to "missing you" is ....odd.[/Q

 

He said "missing me" referring to the cuddling comment, I said " im in bed cuddled up" and he said "missing me".. like I was he was finishing my sentence, so no it wasnt odd

[mhowe]

Replying "that's true" to "missing you" is ....odd.[/Q

 

He said "missing me" referring to the cuddling comment, I said " im in bed cuddled up" and he said "missing me".. like I was he was finishing my sentence, so no it wasnt odd

 

ahhh, now I get it.

[Redabc123]

He said missing you, and you replied that's true. You didn't mirror his sentiment. Maybe that turned him off to you?

 

He texted you when he got home. If he didn't, I would say he's not interested, but if he wasn't interested I would say he wouldn't have texted and said he misses you.

 

I think he's waiting for you to ask him out/plan date 3.

 

He said "missing me" like finishing me since when I said " im in bed all cuddled up" and he replied "missing me" and I said " thats true" I guess that could have turned him off

[mhowe]

I have found w/ my bf of 4 years --- that texts can be easily misconstrued....in the interest of keeping it short, clarity is often sacraficed.

What one person thinks is funny, the other person reads sarcasm or a snipe.

 

Just a word of caution.

[t1lersm0m1]

Got it, sorry.

 

But yes, as mhowe said, texting can be misconstrued. It's happened to me.

 

He said "missing me" like finishing me since when I said " im in bed all cuddled up" and he replied "missing me" and I said " thats true" I guess that could have turned him off

[Redabc123]

Got it, sorry.

 

But yes, as mhowe said, texting can be misconstrued. It's happened to me.

 

Its happened to me as well, I try to minimize the texting. I did however contact him and ask him if he wanted to minture golf and have dinner since he said he like interactive dates. He said "Yes" so I guess we will see. I kind of feel like he isnt working as hard for my attention because Im coming accross like I like him, should I tone down the contact throughout the week?

[greta96]

Its happened to me as well, I try to minimize the texting. I did however contact him and ask him if he wanted to minture golf and have dinner since he said he like interactive dates. He said "Yes" so I guess we will see. I kind of feel like he isnt working as hard for my attention because Im coming accross like I like him, should I tone down the contact throughout the week?

 

Yes, I'd tone it down now. You did great, it was sort of your turn to ask him out, you did, now after this date the ball is in his court.