Confused, not sure what the next step is..

[Redabc123]

Yes, I'd tone it down now. You did great, it was sort of your turn to ask him out, you did, now after this date the ball is in his court.

 

Thanks for the advice, I will definitly tone it down. Do you think I should still continue to talk to other guys even though intinally I told him that I currently wasnt?

[Liraele]

Thanks for the advice, I will definitly tone it down. Do you think I should still continue to talk to other guys even though intinally I told him that I currently wasnt?

 

That's a conversation you'd want to have with him and also is up to you. If you want to continue dating/talking to others, just be honest about it.

[t1lersm0m1]

Until you have a conversation about what you guys are, you are free to talk to other men.

 

Thanks for the advice, I will definitly tone it down. Do you think I should still continue to talk to other guys even though intinally I told him that I currently wasnt?

[tmp110314]

Its happened to me as well, I try to minimize the texting. I did however contact him and ask him if he wanted to minture golf and have dinner since he said he like interactive dates. He said "Yes" so I guess we will see. I kind of feel like he isnt working as hard for my attention because Im coming accross like I like him, should I tone down the contact throughout the week?

Do you plan to put the planning of the next contact on the outcome of the miniature golf score?

[Redabc123]

Do you plan to put the planning of the next contact on the outcome of the miniature golf score?

 

I don't know I was thinking about it, what do you think?

[Batya33]

I would continue pursuing other men to date. I was a little thrown by your comment to him that you were cuddled in bed - was your intention to be forward and suggestive -because that's how I think it comes accross to someone you've only been out a few times with. That's nice that he accepted your date invitation - now I'd tone down on /decrease the texting and get to know him in person.

[tmp110314]

I don't know I was thinking about it, what do you think?

I guess it all depends upon whether you guys are having any fun on these outings. If you are interested in carrying this further, maybe the friendship angle could be a way to get to know him and for him to get to know you better.

 

If anything, you could have a friend to do fun things with on occasion. I wouldn't stop dating other guys though. While you are concentrating on this guy, another may surface and that could be 'the one'.

 

I think I would hang loose and encourage fun outings on occasion while still looking around. You never know what can happen if things are kept light and friendly.

[Redabc123]

I would continue pursuing other men to date. I was a little thrown by your comment to him that you were cuddled in bed - was your intention to be forward and suggestive -because that's how I think it comes accross to someone you've only been out a few times with. That's nice that he accepted your date invitation - now I'd tone down on /decrease the texting and get to know him in person.

 

When I made the comment it purely innocent, I had been working for 10 hours before I met up with him so, I meant "cuddled in bed" because I was tired but I see how the came off wrong.

[Redabc123]

I guess it all depends upon whether you guys are having any fun on these outings. If you are interested in carrying this further, maybe the friendship angle could be a way to get to know him and for him to get to know you better.

 

If anything, you could have a friend to do fun things with on occasion. I wouldn't stop dating other guys though. While you are concentrating on this guy, another may surface and that could be 'the one'.

 

I think I would hang loose and encourage fun outings on occasion while still looking around. You never know what can happen if things are kept light and friendly.

 

Ok I'll try that then. Thank you

[Redabc123]

I forgot to mention that we have been texting a lot this week, which I know isn't good but it's been convenient since I have been busy this week. I'm afraid because we have been texting so much that he will lose interest quicker, any suggestions on how to keep his interest. Also last night he told me he has only been talking to me no other girls but I don't know if he is still open to dating other girls, when is a good time to ask him... Or am I jumping to far ahead?

[Batya33]

I would ask him in person after you've been dating regularly closer to 2 months. I'd decrease the texting so that if he wants to get to know you better he has to see you in person. The other bad thing about texting is it sounds like you have a hard time filtering on your end - better to under-share rather than over-share.

[Redabc123]

I would ask him in person after you've been dating regularly closer to 2 months. I'd decrease the texting so that if he wants to get to know you better he has to see you in person. The other bad thing about texting is it sounds like you have a hard time filtering on your end - better to under-share rather than over-share.

 

Good pointer thank you, so if he texts me should I just be short with him?

[Batya33]

Good pointer thank you, so if he texts me should I just be short with him?

 

I'd be short, friendly and add "look forward to seeing you soon" if you have a plan. If you don't then just short and friendly. If he keeps wanting to text without having a plan then after a few write "I enjoy our chats but things are getting busy - looking forward to catching up in person when you have the time to get together".

[Redabc123]

I'd be short, friendly and add "look forward to seeing you soon" if you have a plan. If you don't then just short and friendly. If he keeps wanting to text without having a plan then after a few write "I enjoy our chats but things are getting busy - looking forward to catching up in person when you have the time to get together".

 

Update:

He got sick so we never went on the date. He told me Friday that he felt really sick and he wasn't sure if would be able to make it on Saturday. Now there are something's that he said that made me think he wasn't really sick but it could have been my paranoia.

 

1. I asked him the Thursday before if he maybe wanted to go to a car show and he said he would think about it, but the next day he popped up being sick

2. The day he told me he was sick he kept telling me how everyone was calling out almost like he was. Trying to convince me that he was sick, I spoke to him all day until I feel asleep

3. I texted him Saturday morning asked how he was feeling and he said he just puked which was a little dramatic to me, so I asked if he was staying in he said yes because he was cold and it was raining.

 

Some red flags were that he never asked if he could reschedule the date but we did speak all day until about 7 I told him I would let him rest he said no he wanted to keep talking then 30 min later he disappeared, he could have fallen asleep but I don't know.

 

Ok now I'm not sure what to do, was he really sick or did he go out with someone else? I have tried to tone it down this week but he always wants to keep talking either through text or on the phone, so we end up talking all day. He calls me pet names like "baby" and "hunny" but then on Saturday he said we were friends with potential the. Changed it up to us being more than friends. That was a complete turn off because all week he kept telling me how much he liked me. So guys I need your help what's my next step?

[missmarple]

Your next step is to do nothing. You planned a date. It didn't happen and not because of you. It doesn't matter if he got sick or he went out with someone else (not enough info so, either one of these could be true). What matters is that the date got cancelled. If he's interested, he'll reschedule and sooner rather than later.

I don't like the 'friends with potential' line...for me, friends are friends, dates are dates and relationships are relationships..and I don't call my friends baby and hunny.

Regarding phonecalls/texting...just do what Batya suggested. After a few minutes (or a few texts) tell him you got busy and that you'll be happy to continue the conversation when you get together.

[Redabc123]

Your next step is to do nothing. You planned a date. It didn't happen and not because of you. It doesn't matter if he got sick or he went out with someone else (not enough info so, either one of these could be true). What matters is that the date got cancelled. If he's interested, he'll reschedule and sooner rather than later.

I don't like the 'friends with potential' line...for me, friends are friends, dates are dates and relationships are relationships..and I don't call my friends baby and hunny.

Regarding phonecalls/texting...just do what Batya suggested. After a few minutes (or a few texts) tell him you got busy and that you'll be happy to continue the conversation when you get together.

 

That statement made me feel awkward , either we're dating or not. I'm not sure if I should say something since its bothering me. I don't want to waste my time with someone who isn't as interested. Our contact has been as short today and I'm starting to get the impression that this cant be good. We have been talking over a month and now I don't like the pace it seems to be dying down. At first he was all excited about me now its not like that I just feel like if he was interested as much as he says he is, he would rescheduled the date.

[missmarple]

Well, if he does reschedule and you go out, you can bring up that 'friends with potential' line..I wouldn't do it by phone or text.