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Does she really want to go out?


sethbale123

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I might be in the wrong forum again, but if someone would like to help, I would appreciate it.

This girl I like now "used" to like me, I'm not sure if she still does or not, but she gives off the signs she does, and is interested in me still (possibly), but every time I ask her if she wants to come over, or go out to see a movie/eat sometime, she seems really interested, she gives me dates and times when to pick her up. But then all of a sudden, that day, she ignores me all day, or just comes up with an excuse. I don't really know whats going on, I call, text, message her on Facebook, and she doesn't even reply to me, or she just gives me some excuse. We're both 18, and she lives with her parents. I guess they are very strict, but she doesn't talk about them like they are. We've successfully went out 2 times, and that was about it. I met her father, and he seemed like a nice guy, but I guess I could be wrong. What do you guys think I should do? She's done it to me quite a lot actually, about 4-5 times now, and i'm kind of getting agitated with her, most of the time she apologized to me, and says she really wanted to go, but in the most recent times she kind of just plays it off like it never happened. I really do like her, but shes starting to get on my nerves.

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Well its kind of all just getting on my nerves to be honest, I made another thread a while ago. I'll give you the gist of it. She used to like me and told me that, I didn't know her, and I wanted to, but then she got a BF before I could do anything, even when she had a BF she said she still liked me, but when they broke up she said she was tired of getting hurt or what ever, and said it would be a while before we get into a relationship (pretty much i'm in the friendzone) and she knows I like her. I'm kind of just getting annoyed, she sends me messages like every 2-3 days if I don't send her one first. Do you think i should just move on, or just hang around?

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Well its kind of all just getting on my nerves to be honest, I made another thread a while ago. I'll give you the gist of it. She used to like me and told me that, I didn't know her, and I wanted to, but then she got a BF before I could do anything, even when she had a BF she said she still liked me, but when they broke up she said she was tired of getting hurt or what ever, and said it would be a while before we get into a relationship (pretty much i'm in the friendzone) and she knows I like her. I'm kind of just getting annoyed, she sends me messages like every 2-3 days if I don't send her one first. Do you think i should just move on, or just hang around?

 

You should move on. That is all.

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Ok thanks, do you guys think I should just delete her from Facebook and all that of stuff? I've tried to get over her a couple of times, but she eventually sends me a message saying she missed me or something like that, and then it's back to the usual stuff. She'll probably get mad if I do, and probably send me all kinds of messages, in that case, should I just not respond, or should I tell her that I just got tired of all of it?

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I'm kind of still trying to decide which to choose, but every time I see her name/face I just get those strong feelings for her again, even after not talking to her for a while, that's why i asked the question if i should just delete her or not, I just don't want it to carry on like it has been, where in the end I'm the one getting hurt. But I keep telling myself, if I wait, she will change, and will want to have a relationship with me, which will probably not happen.

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I remember when I was 18 and 19, I was single and enjoyed dating and being free! I constantly double booked myself and would think nothing of dropping plans I wasn't keen on if something "better" came up.. it was really selfish, and looking back I probably hurt a lot of feelings, but at the time I wasn't concerned, or even aware. I think that's possibly the case here.. I doubt it's strict parents stopping her not only from meeting you, but even from letting you know she can't come! I think it's more likely that the plans sound good at the time when she agrees and then on the day she decides something better is on offer. Maybe she's into someone else.. or maybe she's just someone who finds it hard to say no and reject people. Who can say?

 

Whatever her reason, you don't need that! You deserve much better!

 

What is your friendship like? Is blocking her/removing her going to drastically impact your life apart from just missing her? (eg. split your group of friends, make social events really awkward, or worse, make you feel excluded from things?)

 

If you don't hang in the same circles and don't think it would cause an issue, and you feel like you have to delete her in order to move on, then that's what you should do! No question!

 

But if you think deleting and blocking her could make things difficult or socially awkward for you then another option could be to just mute her fb posts for a little while to give yourself a break, less dramatic. If she texts you, you can choose whether or not to reply or even read them. Maybe when you're not so available she might miss you? Maybe not... But atleast she won't be all over your news feed.

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Well, me and her are both as some people would say "loners", I have quite a bit of friends, but I never really hang out with them in real life, we talk a lot on Skype and mess around, but none of them know her, and from what she has told me, when she dated the guy she got with before I got to even talk to her, she lost all of her friends and people to talk to, I don't know if it was she just cut contact, or they all hated that guy, and as far as I know she only has one girl that she talks to, and people at work. I like the mute on Facebook thing, maybe I do need a break from her, I never knew there was a hide from news feed feature. I already implemented that, it's harder for me to really get over her because i suffered an emotional disorder for a long time, and I never knew what "love", "like", "lust" and all of that stuff was, and she was the first person I've ever felt anything for. I guess that's why I keep telling myself that she will eventually like me, because i just don't want to admit that she wont. I just think it was rather odd that she used to tell me all the time she liked me and wanted to date me, and all of this stuff, now its like she doesn't want anything to do with me.

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Dude, you're asking for advice, but you're not getting the advice you wanted, so you keep explaining more and justifying more. Do you really want someone who keeps ignoring you when you have plans? Stop rewording it and explaining away. There's no good excuse for the way she is acting. When you care about someone, you don't make plans with someone then the day of the plans disappear. She doesn't care. Drop her.

 

Find a girl who will appreciate you. This one doesn't.

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t1lersm0m1 is right, I think it's very unlikely that she will suddenly change her mind and become the girl you want. We can all understand how easy it is to keep telling yourself things might change, but the sooner you accept that she's a lost cause, the sooner you can move on and find someone right for you.

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I'm kind of still trying to decide which to choose, but every time I see her name/face I just get those strong feelings for her again, even after not talking to her for a while, that's why i asked the question if i should just delete her or not, I just don't want it to carry on like it has been, where in the end I'm the one getting hurt. But I keep telling myself, if I wait, she will change, and will want to have a relationship with me, which will probably not happen.

 

Pain in life is a given. Suffering usually however is a choice. It is very, very unlikely she will change. So let me paraphrase your options for you.

You can:

A. Delete her, block her, have no contact with her and start to heal.

B. Stay in contact with her, live in denial, continue to suffer, and suffer and suffer.

 

The option is yours.

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